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Funny Guy

The Funny Guy firmly believes that the key to a woman's heart isn't wealth, good looks, or regular bathing, but rather a great sense of humor.
Girls' BFF

The Girls’ BFF is your BS filter. He’s like a sweet and sour gummy bear. He’ll tell you if “he’s just not that into you” whether you want to hear it or not. But he’ll also give you a hug and tell you that you don’t need that guy anyway.
Chic Geek

The Chic Geek is equally comfortable amongst the hipsters at a Grizzly Bear concert or at home playing Wii Bowling with his friends, or if lucky enough, his girlfriend, on a Saturday night.
Reformed Player

The Reformed Player knows the dark secrets that lurk in the hearts of men, mainly because they’re his secrets too. And he’s willing to reveal all the dirty truths — if it means womankind will forgive him a little for all those times he never called
Wise-Ass

Nobody likes a Wise Ass, right? When the chips are down and you need advice, why bother asking an honest, objective stranger when you’ve got plenty of family and friends to coddle you and tell you exactly what you want to hear?
Mystery Man

Mystery Man will tell you the truth, as he sees it, without the hug.

Ask Anonymously

March 2010

01

I found over $700 in a box in my boyfriend's (of four years) bedroom. I want it to be for an engagement ring, but I'm sure its for something else. How come he won't put a ring on it?

How do I get my boyfriend to buy me tampons?

I accidentally slept with both of my husband's twin brothers (they are identical triplets). Does this count as cheating?

02

What makes a guy cheat? If my boyfriend and I argue a lot, do you think that will make him cheat?

What does a guy really mean or want when he says "text me later?"

Mr. Jackson, How do I get my boyfriend to show up on time? He is always late! He never calls when he is going to be late. I feel very disrespected and have told him SEVERAL times to knock it off, buy a watch, etc! Sometimes he is even up to 30-45 minutes late? What is he doing?!

My ex was IN LOVE with me and i felt a little too clustered so i dumped him and for a while he would come back and then he just stopped, now i miss him like crazy & he's hanging with other girls and he seems just fine like he doesn't even care , what do i do ?

How do you interpret "Love ya" in a fairly new relationship. Is that hard to say "Love you", or is he just not feeling it?

My husband says he doesn't ever think about another women naked ....Is that true???

O Great Wise-Ass, I am a freshman in college and a virgin. I've been intimate with guys before, just haven't lost the big V. I'm thinking I should just get it over with, since I'm not necessarily waiting until marriage, but I'm not sure. Advice?

How long do you "date" before you can ask that dreaded question, what the hell are we?

03

So, my boyfriend of a year asks me for oral sex daily, and today I obliged, but he wouldn't kiss me afterward because he says it's "gross" and "that's how people get sick." He didn't finish in my mouth and I know he doesn't have any STDs, so what exactly is the problem?

On a date, do guys prefer jeans or a dress? hair up or hair down?

The guy I'm dating recently told me he's had sexual fantasies about his sister. Is this normal or am I dating a total psychopath?

Why are black guys so infatuated with a women who has lighter skin? And also why are black men so into girls with big booties?

What does it mean when a guy says "my life is complicated"?

04

What are your suggestions for learning to be alone? Or at least, how to make it more bearable. Please forgo the "Plan a night with your girlfriends and paint each others' toenails!" route of advice. I'm not looking for distraction, I'm looking for peace of mind.

What does it mean when a guy tells you he likes you then ignores you the very next day??

Me and my ex have been fighting for a while because I started to fall for another guy that I used to like a couple years ago. I still like him to this day. I broke up with him cause I fell in love with the other guy and not him. My question is "What do i do about my ex and should i stay friends with him?

My boyfriend keeps asking me if i think he's big. Honestly, he isn't the most well-endowed guy ever, and I know better than to say THAT, but I'm a horrible liar. What's the best way to answer him in the future?

05

What part of the woman's body attracts men the most?

When performing oral sex on a man, do they like it when their anus is massaged?

Am i too old to get married at 40?

What is the real reason why men hit women and why do they always say I'm sorry or it's your fault. Will they ever stop hitting?

Why is it guys you used to date want you back when your about to get married???

What is a guy's view on dirty texts, and what is appropriate and what is not? Thanks!

06

I recently broke up with my bf, but we've stayed good friends. However, when I text him stuff like, "So glad we're friends," "You're an incredible person," "I care so much about you; I want you to be happy," his only reply is a smiley face. WTF?!

What is a guy's opinion to when girls curse frequently? Is it a turn off?

07

A very busy man didn't call for a couple of days. He is married but going through a divorce. Why dont those type of men call or text?

What do I do if I'm the only sober one in a hot tub with three other people who are ready to start an orgy? Help!

08

Is hair leg gross to guys?

My 21 yr old husband (i'm 20) said out of anger (he claims) that he looks at porn because I'm unattractive and have gained weight. It is constantly on my mind and even though he apologized and said he didn't mean it I feel like he does. What do I do?

I love my fiance, but I am such a dirty flirt. As a waitress, I can't help but to endlessly flirt with our sexy bartender who is all over me as well. I'm 100% committed to my man, so why can't I stop my 'player' ways?

I gave him some oral services and he hasn't called or texted since...have I been officially dumped? Should I call to verify?

09

what do men think about during sex?

I like to go deep when giving a blowjob but my man always grabs my hair and likes when I stay there ( making it hard to breathe). I've tried telling him to let me breathe, lol. But he gets to excited. How do i get him to relax and enjoy it at the same time?

What is the definition of an "open" marriage?

Is skin of all types attractive to men?

10

What do guys think of a girl who kisses on the first date? I went on a date last night and I kissed him. No extreme lip lock just a kiss. Did i do the right thing?

I messed around with a SUPER drunk guy. He got it up but couldn't get off no matter what! Was it because of me or the drinks?

Is "I'm not looking for anything serious" code for: I don't want to see you any more, or I want to take things slow?

How do I get guys to stop trying to date me without being rude or telling them I'm in a relationship with a girl? I'm not emotionally ready to come out. But I know it really hurts my girlfriend when guys hit on me. How can they get that no means no?

is it ok for a girl to wait for her man while he is in prison.

11

How do i get my best friend to stay in love with me? I'm a girl and she's a girl but our religion is against homosexual relations so now she's starting to feel guilty. So how do i get her back?

So... 6 dates.... no smooch.... lots of texting and calls between dates, but no smooch.... WTH?

If a guy who used to avoid a girl suddenly starts being nice and talking to the girl, does that mean that he likes her?

How come all advice and literature about men assumes they are horny, sex-crazed, one-track-minded people? I've known men who don't masturbate or talk sex all the time. Where is the advice to deal with these guys?

I have a friend whose ex (they broke up about a year ago) is into me. Can I go out with him? She and I aren't like best friends or anything, just friends.

My bf said he likes rougher sex, so we tried it and I've never seen him so turned on. Problem: It was scary. I was bruised and queasy afterward. He apologized but I feel uncomfortable with him now. Should I let it go or is this a sign of something else?

12

My "ex" boyfriend will blow me off and act like he doesn't care for days on end. And I'm not the type to text or call him if he doesn't call me, but randomly he'll tell me he loves me, misses me, etc. When I reply and ask where it came from I never get an answer...WHAT IS GOING ON!?!?!?

So my boyfriend does not like me to wear lingerie or sexy things. I've tried and he tells me he doesn't find them sexy. What's up with this? Am I somehow not attractive to him?

Im 21, I'm sexy as hell, with a great personality, I have no emotional baggage what so ever! so my question is why wont anybody at work ask me out why do they choose the ugly needy girls at work instead of me? It's so backwards........

How do I get my boyfriend to get rid of the hair on his back?

What do you think of tall women dating shorter guys?

Why does almost every guy go for the skanks???

I'm 20 years old, and I've never had a boyfriend. I'm not unattractive, and I'm in pretty good shape. What am I doing wrong?

13

Why do so many men in their late thirties and forties refuse to give any woman out of their twenties a chance?

14

I'm 20, bisexual and technically a virgin. One of my guy friends is interested in me and has told me so. Although I like him too, I'm scared that later on in the posited relationship I will feel like I'm missing something (that is to say, sex with women). Should I say yes?

15

How do guys really feel about makeup?

is flirting with other guys while in a relationship good?

Is it okay for me to have a serious relationship with my brother, if we're not sure we're siblings?

A guy I recently started dating is in law school and is studying for an oral presentation this week. Would it be appropriate to bring him lunch/dinner to his house one day this week or would that be too much since we recently started dating?

When a guy says "I love you", what does it mean?

16

What does it REALLY mean when a guys says, "this is going too fast and I want to slow things down". Keep in mind this is after 3 great months and he was talking about buying a house together.

Do guys really care what girls look like "down there?" I don't mean in regards to waxing or shaving, but things that can't be changed without vagina surgery.

how do you tell your boyfriend that you have an std?

I made out with a guy I met at a club two weeks ago for fun and we stupidly exchanged numbers. I'm not interested in him at all but I've agreed to meet him for coffee. Am I leading him on?

My new boyfriend isnt into kinky things in bed and im all into biting and spanking. I'm not asking for anything that would harm him or me, just alittle more kick in the bed room. Anyway, how do i get him to do it my way every once in awhile?!?!

I have been dating an older man. Sometimes he will get upset at me and say very mean things, like how he's having sex with other women and they are prettier than me, etc. Then two days later he will say I am the love of his life. What gives?

My boyfriend occasionally goes to strip clubs, and I don't get it. Why would a guy choose to throw money at a naked girl when he has one in his bed every night for free? Can I tell him that I am uncomfortable without seeming controlling?

My guy has a temper. He's only yelled at me twice in the 1+ yrs we've been together, but he gets angry (and violent) over the smallest things. I hate it! I get scared sometimes and have to leave the room. Is this something I can help change? How?? I know he loves me and wouldn't hurt me but I worry about it sometimes.

17

Would most guys have sex with a girl who has their period?

I'm getting married in 5 months and I really would like to know if he's ready to make that commitment. How can I know for sure? What should I ask?

my boyfriend keeps bugging me about having a threesome. i find it weird and to me its kind of a form of cheating. should i be worried about this, especially because he says he wants to do that with his ex and me?

A woman with a six-pack: Turn on or turn off?

I live with my ex and he has a girlfriend, but he messes around with me. I got tired so i told him never to do anything again. He usually comes at night to kiss my forehead or to wrestle with me. I just dont get him if he loves somebody else why does he bother me and what can i do to stop it?

I screwed up by telling my boyfriend to 'just go away'. I was annoyed with his behavior that day. Now, he will not speak to me, text me back, answer my calls, nothing. What do I do?

18

There is this guy that I like and I mean really, really like. He is married..but i still like him a lot. He doesn't know that I like him but he has told some of my friends that if he could he would have me. Usually I would be against this kind of stuff but in this case I don't care at all. What can i do to make it happen?

In the past few months I've gone out with two guys both attractive, seemingly stable guys. We are having a nice time at dinner, then he says "I've just met my future wife." WE JUST MET! LOL. Then when I tell them I'm not interested in casual sex.....that's the last I hear from them. What is that about?

I've been on a few dates with a guy and I really like him. The problem is, he's a pretty terrible kisser and it worries me that maybe it means he's bad at other things, too. Should I just move on?

why do guys find belly rings so sexy?

19

My ex would always bother me about having sex, but I told him I wouldn't even think about it until after marriage. After about 5 months he says he's just lost interest and we broke up. I'm just curious as to if he really cared or if he got tired of trying to get sex from me. What do you think?

Hot dude without a job. Keep 'em or dump 'em?

20

Do guys like to hear poetry a woman has written for them or about them, or is that a little too creepy?

Hi Cary, what do you think of women who date men significantly older than them? I tried to go out with guys my age, but they make me feel motherly. I always seem to be attracted to men who are 10-15 years older than me. Is that a problem?

21

I have really been pursuing this guy and he does not seem to be catching on to my hints. What can I do so he gets the hint?

22

Why would my friend w/ benefits of 2 years go get a girlfriend and have no problem cheating on her with me within weeks of them dating when he could have just asked to date me instead in the first place?

Am I a slut if I flirted with a different guy when I have a boyfriend?

Is it really a rule that my boyfriend has to meet all of my guys friends in order for me to hang out with them? Is it jealousy or really a rule?

So my boyfriend cheated on me and I've decided to forgive him. His reasoning for cheating was "What if theres nothing after this?" What does that mean?

does doing sexual things with a girl when you're not going out make you like them more or less?

Whats your position on telling potential hook ups that you have a strain of high risk HPV?

23

If a guy confines a girl to the friend zone, does that always mean he finds her unattractive?

Is there a chance working it out with a guy who constantly lies, or should i give up?

Is every guy 'attainable'? My friend says that everyone is in the same league and everyone is attainable. Do you think this is true?

How do I get my man back if he claims to have fallen out of love with me and in love with another girl? I believe he still loves me, but needs more space.

I'm scared my boyfriend will find someone else once he starts community college. Should i tell him my fear or will that make him think I'm not confident in myself?

24

Do you really prefer me to swallow?

Will a guy feel a sort of connection with his girlfriend if she gets pregnant with his kid?

How do I try and get my guy to try new moves in the bedroom with me?

A friend of mine is always whining about how no girls like him, usually followed by him asking me out. I can never tell if he's joking, but I don't like him, so I say no. He then says he's joking, but DOES seem sort of upset. Is he really asking me out?

Should I tell these women that a man I know is playing them. He travels out of town on business. Everywhere is goes he hits on women in motels, restaurants, and even other women he works with. He is another Tiger Woods to me.

Why do guys like to cuddle after sex?

25

If a guy wants to sleep with you on the first date, does that mean he doesn't want a real relationship with you and just wants sex?

why dont guys listen to me? they always look at my breasts or my ass and its really REALLY annoying!

We've all heard that guys don't see a girl's flaws, but how can you not? I cringe when my guy rubs his hands over my flabby stomach and back fat! What goes through his mind? He can't be thinking, "mm, yeah." I'm not stupid. I just want the truth!

26

I admit up front I'm not beautiful. I'm sweet but shy. I'm overweight but workout every day. First guy I have sex with, I wind up the monthly booty call which I hate. The sex makes me want to cry too. How do I get out of this situation?

how can i get my guy to lick my butt?

Why would a guy claim he's not into you or a relationship but then do things like invite you over for dinner, and hang out with you on a regular basis, especially when he knows that you would like to have a relationship with him?

I cheated on my BF who i really care about, it was a one time thing, I fessed up, and now he refuses to talk or even look at me, anything i can do to fix it. I honestly feel terrible.

27

Found out my bf's got a profile on match.com. He said he joined last year to just check things out for the 3 months free period but turns out match charged his card automatically for the year and that's why he's still got the profile. We've been dating for 2yrs. What's your thought?

I recently read in an article on a women's magazine website that there is no such thing as closure - that it is just clinging on to some false hope. Should I move on even though my ex-boyfriend seemed to pull away with no real reason?

28

Why is it that after you orgasm you have to pee really bad?

Is it possible to rebuild trust after a devastating break-up? He broke up with me more than once for circumstances that had nothing to do with our relationship, then begged me to take him back. Am I an idiot to consider taking him back again? I love him.

29

I recently had a drunken one night stand with a guy. I regret it greatly now, especially since I started to think that I contracted and STD. I asked the guy afterwards whether he had one, he told me "no, definitely not." Can I trust him on this?

Is it my right as a woman to train my boyfriend to treat me how I want to be treated? He is amazing in SO many ways, but he has a temper and likes to say "fuck you" and I want it to stop.

What is it about a woman with a child that sends men running as fast as they can in the opposite direction? I have a 10 month old son and it seems like everytime I get close enough to a guy to reveal I my son, I never hear from the guy again. Thoughts?

So, I hate, and I mean despise my boyfriend's best friend. We had this huge argument, and I threatened to call the cops so he'd get arrested for the drugs in his house as payback. Which is a little rough, but I'm big on revenge. Anyways, now my boyfriend of over a year wants to end it. He's seriously picking him over me?

From one geek to another- I just got accepted into an amazing, out-of-state college. Problem is, I really love my bf of 1.5 yrs. and I'm afraid to leave him behind. What do I do?

30

I'm getting ready to move in with my boyfriend, do I really need to ask his opinon on every household decision from now on ? Like how to decorate our bathroom ? Would this be rude if I just went ahead and purchased and did it ?

I need your help, Panama. My boyfriend of 2 years still shuts me out when he has a bad day. He's dealt with depression before, and he's told me that sometimes he just needs to be alone with his thoughts. I'm trying to be understanding, but I stil feel hurt that he won't open up to me. What should I do/not do?

How do you get a guy to become better at eating out their girlfriend without hurting their ego?

From a male POV what does it feel like to orgasm???

I'm bi, which my fiancee is aware of. Actually, he's one of the only males I (can) find attractive. Should I be worried about hurting his feelings if I talk about how hot other girls are?

A friend of a friend asked me out twice. The first time, he cancelled on me. The second time, he stood me up. Now he has been calling, texting and e-mailing me for the last year, but I haven't responded. How do I get him to stop without seeming rude?

31

My fiancee has admitted to having a mentally-based fetish about getting head. However, I have yet to find anything in existence that disgusts me more. He tastes horrible, not to mention is rather large, so it hurts my jaw. Is there a compromise we can come to without hurting his feelings?

i am attracted to my boss. kept the company ethics while i was there by not dating a fellow staff and boss, i am no more working in this company and still can't get over him. what should i do? should i let him know i love him?

Hi Panama Congrats on your two yrs on VSB I love that site!!!!! I have a question my boyfriend doesnt like to talk dirty to me, but I talk dirty to him in the bedroom and he loves it, so why isnt he doing the same for me?? Am I asking for too much thanks

Why do so many men think Tiger Woods is "the man"? Don't they get that what he did was grimy and wrong?

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