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Mystery Man

 
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I'm 25 and have never been in a relationship longer than 3 months...I just lost 30 pounds and can't seem to shake the fat girl image I have in my mind. It's hard for me to approach guys or even make simple eye contact with a smile. Tips for an awkward dating gal??

Stick with it. There is nothing more appealing to a guy than a girl who doesn't know she's hot. Now you don't say how attractive you are but it sounds like your looking much better than when you were wearing those extra 30 lbs.

The thing is a girl who doesn't know she's hot often will cultivate other aspects of her personality, which make her that much more attractive. If you are not relying on looks then you may end up both attractive and possessing other great traits.

Be who you are. Relax. You don't need to approach guys, in fact, most girls don't do that. They will come.

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8 Comments

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MM, i love this answer.

user-pic

Wait...guys find it appealing that a girl doesn't know she's hot? Well, I guess I can see how that doesn't necessarily mean she's not confident.

user-pic

I think he's talking about obnoxious girls who know they're hot and expect everyone else treat them like royalty, whether or not they deserve it.

user-pic

also, confidence isn't limited to physical appearance. you can be confident as hell about who you are (as many fat girls are) and not so much what you look like. that still constitutes "being confident"

of course guys find it appealing when a girl doesn't know she's hot. it means she's probably not a stuck-up bitch and probably won't try to fuck every guy she meets, desperately pleading for approval.

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I was the fat girl growing up so I became the funny girl to make friends. After college I lost almost 70 pounds. 10 years later I still get self-conscious in certain situations. It takes a really long time to begin seeing yourself in a positive light after a lifetime of feeling sub-pare and disgusiting. Just remember you lost weight for your health - being more attractive and confident is just the cherry on top. Over the years when I've talked/flirted with guys many of them have remarked how down to earth I am - it's definitely a trait they notice and appreciate. Even my most recent ex told me one of the reasons he started seeing me was because I had no idea how attractive I was and how much he liked that in me. Just watch what kind of attitude you project when you're out (it's easy to appear closed off or mad even when you don't mean to) and just be refreshingly honest when the guys do approach you - the good ones will love it.

jude

Well, MM, I'd just about given up on you, and now you write this nice post. None of the other guys could have said it better. Awesome.

Melissa

Way to go on the weight-loss. Sounds like you've come into your own and are happy there. I love success stories. I'm currently working on mine. ;) Thus far 40lbs. Everything you said is true. It takes time to overcome the mental aspects of growing up over-weight. Just wanted to commend your effort and accomplishment! :)

user-pic

Aww, thank you for the good wishes, and congrats on your own weight loss. It's always a conscious decision for me, to choose the apple over the apple tart or exercise over sitting on the couch but it's worth it to have tons of energy and feel great. Keep up the great work!

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