It's about time! Almost five months writing for Guyspeak and at long last someone asks me a question about something I know something about: the prison experience.
What can I say? I'm a bad boy, and bad boys need to be caged sometimes. Then they need to fight a bunch of guys with a sock full of quarters, dig an escape tunnel, and do other things I've seen in prison movies, AKA MY LIFE.
My prison name is "Lil' Jitters."
But as for your guy (let's call him "Big Jitters"), I could go either way. If he's been away a while, chances are he's about as desperate for female companionship as a man can get. In that case, saying something distancing like that probably means he's interested in you just for conjugal visits (although I guess now that he's out, the whole WORLD is a conjugal visit!) or not as interested in you as he thought he was.
But, the whole "getting his life back together" angle is a curveball, because it could easily be legitimate. If he's the type of guy who needs to focus to keep his shit together, or just finds women complicate things, he may choose a period of celibacy to avoid backsliding. You live life a little differently after you've been "down the cut," as we cons say ("con" is short for convicted).
My advice would be to give him space if he needs it, and do what you can to help in his noble efforts to straighten up and fly right. If that means being just friends for a while, so be it. Hopefully, he'll remember the gal who helped him through this difficult time.
Did he have a bad experience while inside? Inside you can't do yourself you can't have porn mags you have to erase sex and women from your mind 24/7. Being in can effect your self image of being a man. Don't pressure the guy he has head things to settle and needs to center himself once again. The toughest is to learn that as a man you are not that tough and not that clever. Otherwise how did you get in there to begin with. And while inside there are plenty of otters that can demonstrate just how untough someone can actually be inside.
Its highly encouraged in Recovery ( i.e. alcoholics anonymous) to not start a relationship while you are in the early stages of recovery. Although both these circumstances may seem unrelated "its not." Lets face it relationships can have it's up and down and that can throw someone off when they are starting a new path. Another example, I was on a diet last summer (a friendly wager by my Vegan friend that I couldn't last 30 days on a all juice diet) and I was doing quite well for about two weeks. Then, I went on a date with an ex an we went to a restaurant and one thing lead to another and I order enough for two (and it never felt sooo good). Case and point, relationships can be taxing and it can lead us to do diverge off the beaten path. I guarantee you though if you are supportive of his plans and NOT A DISTRACTOR but a SUPPORTER he may actually want you around. So give him his space, and encourage his efforts. Tell him he is doing a good job, when he is. He may just need somone to be on his side rooting for him.