Hmm...good question. I think that the best way to approach is to do it without trying to manipulate him into telling you. Look, you know they saw eachother. You know he didn't tell you. He knows that's probably an issue and still decided not to tell you.
He'll tell you that he didn't tell you because it's not a big deal because he loves you and nothing happened with her.
Which is all probably true. But the issue her is the principle. And that's the approach you take. You ask him about what you saw and ask him why he didn't tell you he saw his ex of five years. If they're still friends, and you're okay with that, he should be able to tell you this without issue. So why not mention it? It seems like something is going on even if nothing is, which is why it bothers you. Let him know that it made you feel some kind of way that he wouldn't let you know that because you would let him know just to ensure that he didn't have any feelings if he were to find out later, which is what happens. It's a common courtesy you extend to people you love and care about.
You just have to be real straight up but also not lose all of your cool about it if and when he says some crap that is non-sensical. That's how the convo will tank.
But you definitely have cause to bring it up, just make sure you're open to a convo and not just trying to yell. If he loves you, he'll know he made a mistake and ensure that you believe he won't do it again.
Omission is still deception which is another form of dishonestly.
I sometimes wonder how long it takes you guys to answer these, these are some tough ones lately. this is a tough one. even the coolest girl would have a tough time NOT going all apeshit here, but he's right, that's exactly how to "win" this one for lack of a better word. my mom always puts it "if you want to BE the bigger person you actually have to BE the bigger person. or, if you can't remember that, if you don't want to look like a crazy person, don't act like a crazy person." i consider myself to be one of those that lets a lot of stuff go, on the life is too short mentality, but it's easy to go apeshit over something like that, I got all sweaty for you just reading about that lol just, be as cool as you can, you'll come out smelling like flowers, you def have the upper hand in this one, but only if you keep your cool. he's right, if he loves you, all of this is moot and it will just work itself out.
You're like me, my (girl) friends tell me I'm absolutely crazy for letting stuff go so easily, but if I confront my bf and he explains something rationally and then tells me he loves me, and I have no reason to doubt him, then why shouldn't I believe him?
Great answer BFF. 100% with you.
exactly. that's how it's supposed to be, right? good for you, sounds like you have a good one :)
Actually, we're broken up now, but it had nothing to do with petty fights, and communication was always a factor in our relationship, no matter how things went. I don't regret the letting go of the little things. :)
aw poo. i'm sorry. i bet though it is just a matter of time that some other piece of awesomeness spots that great attitude tho :)
Thanks sweetie. That's a really nice thing to say. :)
:)
yeah that would certainly ruffle my feathers... and depending on his reaction to my asking about it, that could certainly be a relationship ender for me, whether he did anything wrong other than not tell me what happened in the first place or not.
I would simply say, "Hey, I saw on Facebook that you saw So-And-So while you were in Chicago. How's she doing?"