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Wise-Ass

 
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A lot of new guy friends are incredulous when they find out I'm not dating anyone, but very few guys I like ever ask me out! Can you think of reasons why that is?

Yes, I can think of a reason: that's life.

I'm not being flip. I get questions like this at least ten times a week. "Why aren't guys asking me out? Why do only creeps and jerks ask me out? Why don't the guys I like ask me out?" It is a common refrain. The answer is that this is just how dating is--kissing frogs and all that.

The only other reason could be that you have a repellent personality, but if that were the case, I think you would know it. I don't think that's the case. I think this is just how dating is. Keep sifting. You'll get lucky sooner or later.

Thanks for the question.

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7 Comments

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If you've got a lot of guy friends, you may be sending out the wrong signals or they may be too weak for good reception. Also, some guys are stupid oblivious no matter the signal strength; you might just have to work up the courage to figuratively thump them over the head and drag them back to your cave.

user-pic

If the guys she likes aren't asking her out, maybe she should start doing the asking. They might say no, but it's worth a try. Otherwise, yes, keep looking.

chrissie1101

like the other commenters, my question would be, what are YOU doing to change your situation? life doesn't come to you, you have to go out and get it. just because your guy friends think you are datable, doesn't mean you should be that girl tending to a lineup at her doorstep. that never happens by the way. do the guys you like even know you like them?? they, and most other men on the planet, aren't going to ask you out unless they think they have a shot at it.

Nice&Sweet

You didn't say very few guys ever ask you out, you said very few guys YOU LIKE, ever ask you out. It leads me to think that you could have vey high standards, maybe you're one of those girls who have an imaginary list of qualities and requirements a man must have & if that is the case you're going to be asked out very few times for a looong time. However, the problem could be them, perhaps your beauty is a bit intimidating and guys don't dare ask you out. It could be something related to your personality that guys don't find particularly attractive.
How have things turned out when you've been on dates with the guys you liked? Did it work out? Why not? No one else but you can solve the mistery.

Kasiola2003

We tend to attract people who are most like us. Even though the occasional creep does get in front of us, most of the time, if you want a good boyfriend you have to be a good girlfriend. Concentrate on your own life and eventually the right guy will find you.

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Maybe your standards are a bit closed off but then maybe the guys standards are too. Men are by default group creatures and will pretty much hang out with anybody, but when it comes to dating, from my limited experience dating vegetables, I would suggest you keep in mind that men are attracted when they are visually stimulated. We are all distracted by bright shiny things. If you want to date a specific guy, remind him even subliminally why he should be asking you out. As crude as this sounds, I think it might work something this:
You: you want to go to see The Possesion with me tonight, my treat?
Guy: (hmmm, I wonder what her tits look like?) Sure!

user-pic

I appreciate Wise Ass' answer, but it's incredibly hard to keep sifting and hope you'll get lucky sooner or later when you've never been on a date or asked out. It's incredibly hard to be optimistic in that situation, so I can sympathize with the girl who asked this question.

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