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A married ex told me he took a job six hours away. He lives there four days out of the week. Only married 18 months after being laid of for over a year. Does this sound weird to you? I lied and said I'm getting married in a year. He said, "Congrats. Marriage is Great! Married life is great." What does he mean?

He means he loves his wife and is happily married. The only part of this that sounds weird is that you lied to him about being engaged. Why did you do that? If your intention was to see if he'd go, "Ah, that's too bad. I was hoping I could cheat on my wife with you..." then your plan backfired horribly.

Why are you reading so much into this? He needed a job, so he took one six hours from you. It's a shame that he can only be home three days out of the week, but, as you said, he was out of work for over a year and clearly needed a job. He probably misses his wife and hates to be apart, but it's hard out there these days. Plus, it's not like he's 20 minutes from you. It seems coincidental that he got a job six hours away.

Has he asked you to come see him? Is this your first contact since you broke up? Did he sound sarcastic when he said that married life is "great"? If so, those would be red flags.

Honestly, it sounds like he's just catching you up on his life. If he keeps contacting you-- or if he's talking to you behind his new wife's back-- that's a different story. As of now, it doesn't seem like he's trying to cheat. If anything, now is a good time to stop talking to him. Otherwise, the whole fake marriage routine you've cooked up will make things really awkward in the future.
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2 Comments

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Let him go.

It's over.

And good advice, CG!

jude

Ok, I've gotten virtually bitch-slapped for saying this on other threads, but my main question is, what are you doing still talking to this man? Clearly you're not over him yet, or his being married and taking a job, what, 300 miles away from you, wouldn't be affecting you so much. You'd be saying, "Good for him. Now, what should I eat for dinner tonight?"
It would be different if you had kids together; obviously, you would need to know where he was and how living the distance he does would affect them in any way. But if you don't have kids together, maybe it's better not to talk to him for a while, at least until you get over him.
I only say this because I've been there. I had to tell my college boyfriend after we broke up that he needed to stop calling me, because I still loved him and I was trying to get over him, but I couldn't do that if he was still calling all the time. He understood, and I did get over him. It's more about giving yourself a chance to heal rather than ignoring someone who was once a part of your life.
He's not going to get back together with you, he's married now, to someone else. Cry a little, pick up the pieces, and move on.

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