Yeah, he committed a serious boyfriend fail. Standing up for you is part of his duty. Unfortunately we live in a world where stupid people may say things to you. It's his job to stand up to have your back.
Yes, as we have discussed many times, you should also stand up for yourself. Don't just hide behind boyfriend and take the woman's remarks. That said, this isn't someone cutting you in line at the Starbucks -- this woman was saying hateful things about you. Presumably he was bothered by this as well, right? It must have bothered him to see you crying. Not liking conflict is not wanting to argue with the rude DMV employee. This is the sign of a guy who doesn't care enough to stand up for you. All he had to do was tell the woman to back off. If she kept harassing you, get security. But sitting back and doing nothing is pretty weak.
LOL at Corey. Italian men are Italian women in disguised (SERIOUSLY)!
And GIRRRRL, what he did was wrong! A man is suppose to make you feel protected and if he didnt do that, he doesnt deserve to be your man and have your affection!
QUOTE: "Nice guys dont finish last, only nice guys with NO balls finish last" and that man you have, HAS NO BALLS.
Simple: Dumb his ass!
Nice guys finish with their right hand...
LOL @ Moe...some Italian men perhaps, but I've seen plenty who were quite masculine.
Still Moe is right, this is a type of incident a man needs to step up, even if there's a risk of serious confrontation - even if it means risking the other person pulling out a gun and shooting him. To do nothing would be unacceptable. An man not willing to get butt kicked for you isn't a man worth having...
His loss. I've spent a couple decades living in the Middle East. Middle Eastern women are HOT!
I dont completely agree. Yes, your bf should make you feel confident and comfortable, but he shouldnt be fighting your battles for you. He will not always be there to "protect" you. You are your own person and capable of standing on your own two feet, right? Besides, it could become one very messy situation if your bf starts "firmly" speaking to another woman. (I absolutely despise men who try and bully woman) As long as he didnt agree with what the other woman was saying or make fun of you for being upset, I dont really think he did anything wrong.
I know how you feel. I am of Middle Eastern descent as well. I have had some very mean, ugly, inconsiderate, and down right racist things said in my presence in a post 9/11 world. I have learned to deal with these situations by showing them I am not the things they say, holding my head up high, and walking away.
In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent"
I think there's room for a good man to do both, help his woman to be able to defend herself when he's not around, and to stand up for her especially to bigots. I get what you are saying, choose your battles carefully, but a simple "Hey, knock it off!" would have probably gotten her to shut up, I don't consider that "bullying women", and if it didn't stop her then he could have let the appropriate personnel handle it or walk away, but at least he would have stood up for her.
I have to admit your approach takes the high road; I think if I were in that situation I'd be awful tempted to show them they are right...
I don't care if you're the boyfriend, the friend, the sister, the brother, the cousin, the parent, or the total stranger who just happens to witness something like this, I consider you to be an incredible coward if you just stand by and watch someone be bullied like that. Sure, she can take care of herself, and I'm sure she did, but not standing up for her is condoning a heinous behavior by another human being. You stand up for what is right, even if you're scared of confrontation. Don't threaten the person or incite violence, but for crying out loud, DO SAY SOMETHING. Not doing so implies you support their bigotry.
"All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing."
I understand what both you and Mr. X are saying, and I agree. But I also believe we can only be responsible for our own actions. Sitting around letting someone say mean things to you and doing nothing about it is almost as bad as listening to it happen to someone else and not doing anything. She should be responsible for how she handled the situation and not rely on her boyfriend to handle it for her.
It is easy to cast stones at him...none of us were in his shoes. First of all, we dont even know how old they are. He could be young or just immature and was shocked at the situation and didnt know what to do. Or maybe his simply just didnt care. We dont know.
Bottom line, if the op is looking for someone to protect her and she feels he failed at that when she needed him, than she should move on because her needs are not being met.
I agree wholeheartedly. Its like those Dateline (or whatever late night show) that does "What would you do" episodes. Normal everyday people are made witnesses to racism, abuse, etc and they see who reacts and how. One can rationalize that since it is a stranger they don't have to react and step up, but a GOOD person does step up and tell the offender to STOP it. And the boyfriend is no stranger! He should have at least said SOMETHING. There are ways of telling the woman what she was saying was racist without inciting a fist fight.
stfu corey
stfu corey
Women should fight women's battles and men fight mens. Because it was a lady (or female) saying the remarks it was up to her to stand up for herself. Obviously she doesn't like conflict either. Had it been a man that it would have been his duty to step in and interject.
Women should fight women's battles and men fight mens. Because it was a lady (or female) saying the remarks it was up to her to stand up for herself. Obviously she doesn't like conflict either. Had it been a man that it would have been his duty to step in and interject.
Maybe in her culture women do not speak up or assert themselves. I am ashamed that an "American" made such generalized, crude and stereotypical remarks, but I'm not surprised by them. There is ignorance and hatred in every race, culture, etc... The writer of this letter no doubt didn't know how to respond to such rude behavior, maybe she felt a little a little "out of place" and didn't know how her remarks would be received by others in the crowd. I do agree that the BF should have said something to this fool. To the writer, my fellow " woman/ sister" on this earth and God's creation, stand tall and please know that most Americans have the sense to know that most people of Mid-Eastern descent do not hate the USA, and are all different, as we are. I am from the South, and I'm a Nurse Practitioner with a MSN in Nursing. Occasionally, some "Yankee" stooge with a nasal accent (nod to the " cracker " comment posted earlier) and nary a high school diploma nor GED in sight makes the grave mistake of " talking down" to me. I'm more than happy to set them straight , because deep down, these people are bullies. Usually when they are called on their behavior, that will shut up, especially when one can illustrate just how uneducated they really are. Racism, bigotry, socio-economic prejudice goes across the board. Let us all speak out against it when we have the opportunity.