Maybe, even though things got weird, finding out you didn't feel the same allowed him to move on and find the right woman. If he's happy, and feels genuinely upset that your friendship suffered, he wants you there to say that he still considers you the kind of friend he wants to share in his day. I think congratulating him and feeling him out is the way to go, just don't automatically assume he doesn't want you there, chances are he wouldn't have met his soon to be wife if you hadn't been honest.

A good friendship can survive just about anything. If your bond was strong before his big reveal, then it has a lot of potential to become a solid friendship again.

This might be a bit stereotypical but I think it also has a grain of truth as well. Men process emotions differently. Love, lust, crushes, have different effects on men than they do on women. Now I'm not saying his feeling are any less or are less long lasting, I'm saying he's probably not held onto the idea of loving you for over a year. He told you, you leveled with him and he found a young woman who was prepared to reciprocate his feelings. It sounds like he's moved on but laments losing time with you as a friend and wants to reconnect.

I would do exactly as Cary suggests. Call him first. It'll help you and him whether you choose to go or not. I'm getting the feeling that perhaps it is YOU who are not sure you can handle a meeting on his big day. If you're worried about making him conflicted on his wedding day, perhaps politely decline and on the heels of that offer to take him and his wife out to dinner after the honeymoon to celebrate.

Whatever you choose, I'm sure it'll all work out just fine.

I don't see the harm in attending, if you want to. His lack of communication may have been more like him worried he might have made you uncomfortable and embarrassed with his advances, and maybe a little embarrassed too, rather than any bad feelings towards you. Like Bright Side wrote, he took a chance, it didn't happened, he got over it, moved on. It does happen with men. Really. But you said he's a longtime friend, so he still wants you in his life, as a friend.

You weren't interested in him, I doubt you will cause any drama on his wedding day. I'd be more worried about him, and even that's a far off possibility. That's why calling him is not a bad idea. You can gauge his intents and his feelings, you'll tell if he's really past you or not. If you feel uncomfortable or concerned he's not over you, then don't go. Otherwise, enjoy his wedding and free refreshments at the reception.

I don't think he told his fiance, and I don't think he should. To what end would that serve? Nothing happened, so there's really nothing to be "over" about. I'm still friends with several of the women who rebuffed me, I've introduced them to my wife, but I saw no purpose telling her that. Nothing awkward happened happened, though one did seem surprised how attractive she was.

OP here. Thanks for answering the question. I appreciate the advice (and I'm kind of stoked my question was picked haha).

I don't think there are residual romantic feelings on his end. I miss my friend, and I hope he misses me as his friend, but I'm not really concerned about him being "over" me. I'm not quite self-centered enough to think he's longing for me -- pretty sure the getting engaged thing solves that question.

My first instinct was to attend, but then a couple of my friends looked at me as though I'd grown another head when I told them. Then I figured I'd buy then a wedding gift but not attend. And then I decided to throw the question to my favorite Guy.

After the talk, I tried to stay in touch with him, but he chose to distance himself, which I completely understood. At this point, I think it's ME feeling awkward about contacting him. But I'll put on my big-girl panties and talk to him. Thanks again, everyone!