Hard to say.
Time definitely heals some wounds, but words and actions done in anger tend to be remembered long after the ashes of the fight have cooled. Depending on what he said or did to you (and you to him), yes, your view of him could change even after you've fully reconciled. That doesn't mean your relationship is doomed, though. If nothing else, now you know he's human and imperfect, and you have a clearer picture of his limitations.
What happens now really depends on two things: the severity of the hurtful thing he did, and how strong your relationship was before the fight. Obviously, if he did something like hit you or cheat on you, your view of him will most definitely change, as well it should, and nothing he can do will ever fix it. Some things are dealbreakers. If it was something less severe (and I'm not asking you to tell us what it was), then you might be able to put it aside and move on with minimal damage.
Couples who have been together longer can endure these kinds of fights better than newbies. If this happened a month into your relationship, there's a good chance you wouldn't survive it. But once you've been with someone for a while, you know them well enough to know that the bad behavior is (hopefully) uncharacteristic, so it might not bug you quite as much. You also have more time and emotional energy invested in each other, so you are more motivated to try to get over whatever happened. It's easier to walk away from a boyfriend of two or three months than a boyfriend of two or three years.
There's a third factor, too (I lied!): your personality. Are you the forgiving type, or do you have trouble letting things go? Obviously that will color how you see him in the future and how much of his behavior you will be able to write off.
You'll just have to see how it goes. All couples fight, and most couples have an "epic" fight, as you call it, from time to time. Both of you contributed to the fight, so it behooves both of you to forgive each other and move on... if you can.
Thanks for the question.
I wish I had an answer to this question myself. I had quite a huge misunderstanding with my SO recently and am deliberating now whether or not I would wait it out or not. I have my faults too, but I think it utterly unnecessary for my partner to dangle that one mistake I made and hold it over my head (especially if the mistake did not involve third parties and such). It undermines my intelligence, and makes me feel unworthy of the love I deserve. If at this point he cannot see beyond my flaws and limitations, how would that be years from now? To throw in the towel or not, I don't know. I have yet to answer that for myself too.
I remember my dad making his speech during their 25th wedding anniversary. He said there were three lines he learned to say to my mom that made their relationship last: "I love you", "I'm sorry", "You are right". Although the last line would make other people feel robbed of their pride and all that (especially if my mom actually was NOT right), I think he made a good point about having the ability to look past beyond your partner's imperfections. I've seen them fight and argue, and then make up and go out on dates again like they were in high school. I could never give a better example of true love than that of my parents.
Your view of your partner now may be different, but I think what you really need to answer is that whether or not you could accept that. It's a big joke when you hear "Our love will forever stay the same". Love changes too. My parents' love for each other is not the same as when they first met. It's stronger and more stable and ever-evolving and have weathered kids, in-laws, finances, jobs and life. That sort of set the bar very high for me when it comes to dating. My parents taught me a lot about being forgiving and starting all over again with a clean slate. My dad and my mom are my heroes when it comes to love.
I sincerely hope this helps. Since I can't seem to pull myself out of this pit of quicksand I am in, perhaps somebody else could use the rope my parents have thrown to save me.
Terrific comment, Faye. Just wonderful. Your dad is a wise man.
Some folks like to milk your guilt when you've done something wrong. I guess it's their right for a day or two, but it if it continues beyond that, not cool. You'll get out of the pit; just give him a few days to cool off.
He is leaving for an overseas trip that would last for over a month this Sunday. It has been a week since we last talked. I am honestly not being optimistic over the situation now, especially after finding out he's been holding on to that hurt which occurred a couple of months back. I just don't know if I should take the distance as a time to reflect on our situation and keep myself open to him still or let go so I can move on.
And to whoever asked this question and to you, Cary, thanks. I needed to read this today.
There's also a fourth factor: how forgiving is his personality? You both have to be willing to work towards forgiving and being forgiven and then moving on. I feel like if it becomes one person's responsibility then it becomes a one person effort, which sort of nullifies a relationship. If he's been stewing on this mistrust for months without being able to let go, then that should be carefully considered. Best of luck, my heart goes out to you...