First, I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. Your first boyfriend was a monster, and what he did was unforgivable.
You were strong enough to move on from that, but your strength was rewarded by two more bad relationships with two more bad guys. And for that, I'm sorry as well.
I don't know enough to say if you are doing something to attract these terrible guys. I don't think you are, because the third guy was in the same circle of friends. All of this could just be terrible, terrible luck.
That said, there are places in the world where good, friendly, honest, kind men are. I suggest go finding those places. Church groups (if you're the religious sort), or volunteer organizations, or even in your circle of friends. There are many more good guys than bad guys in the world. You're bound to come across one if you keep your hopes up and keep looking in the right places.
Good luck.
Ladies, what else can our friend do to stop this pattern?
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I had a pattern where I selected "not good" men as well. My problem was from my upbringing and the relationship (or lack thereof with my dad). My dad was abusive and I ended up selecting men that treated me the same way. Subconsciously, I believed I was not worth a healthy happy relationship, nor did I have the skills to have one either. My mom was abusive as well so I did not have a good template to start my life. I had low self esteem and many problems.
I started working on myself by reading books, going to councelors and surrounding myself with people who were healthy. It took a little while but once I started seeing my patterns I could break them and I replaced that with self esteem and self confidence. The men I used to attract and be attracted to has completely changed. The men that I now attract and am attracted to are kind, well functioning men that treat me well.
I have read a lot of books over the course of my healing and it is generally believed that the people we are attracted to and are attracted to us typically mirror the issues that we grew up with and allows us to resolve them. Some people stay stuck in that programming and others grow out of it. You have a self awareness that will allowr you to start making improvements. I would suggest finding a councelor that specializes in some of the issues you have struggled with and maybe she can help you understand the patterns better. Also finding some books with those themes can help shed light on some of those patterns as well.
From one person, who has had to grow through difficult circumstances, to another, I am proud of you for wanting better. Keep going and you will get there.
Great answer!! I co-sign everything Anna wrote.
Amen to what Anna said.
Also, in the meantime, you can develop a screening checklist with objective criteria. Include any behavior that has been a red flag you overlooked in the past. include stuff like:
kind to his mother/ your friends/ service people
has a job
is single
Christian man/ is truthful
Try online dating you can skype, talk on the phone, stalk his facebook. Get to know him really well before you let him into your life or become emotionally involved.