This is a good question. And before I go any further, PLEASE keep your optimism. Nothing lures men in like a woman who has optimism and doesn't think all men suck. Women like you are why some men fall in love.
In fact, what's your number?
To answer your question: no, all women aren't jaded. But there is definitely a significant number of women who are. And to be fair, it's not all their fault. A lot of men do indeed suck. Maybe not on purpose, but thru inconsiderate actions and selfish living (which face it, is how men are taught to live by their own mothers) many women who put their man and love first and foremost get upset and stay that way because men don't. Which can be frustrating.
But we're just not wired that way. It's not that we don't care, it's just that we show how we care in different ways.
More women think that relationships would be fine if we thought like you all and I'm not sure that's true. I think what most women mean is that they'd be happier if their men would just do what they want. Which is patently ridiculous because it assumes that women make all the right decisions and men are bumbling idiots. Television teaches us that is true.
Point is, a lot of men cause conflict to a lot of women and a lot of men do make mistakes. True. That's half of the problem. The other half is this belief that women are all angels who get broken by men which is a line of reasoning that is very present in our society.
THOSE women are all jaded. And I think that it comes with time because of choices we make in people we chose to deal with. Obviously, its possibly to get completely screwed by somebody you trusted, but I also think that women assume (and some men do) that one bad apple means they're all bad. And just like with women, there are definitely some men who absolutely hate women for that same reason.
But there is definitely a big enough swath of the female population that isn't jaded, yet. They still believe in love and happiness. And I implore you all to stay that way. Good vibes beget good vibes. People with negative energy will keep you single forever, trust me.
Anyway, keep hope alive. And look at the people you're asking and their circumstances. If they're not happy, you probably shouldn't ask them for advice anyway.
OK, just to play devil's advocate - what are you asking advice on that your friends and family are providing such negative feedback? If a friend is going through a horrible break up, yeah, she's probably going to automatically think the man is at fault. But if an array of people are all saying the guy's a jerk, then you know what? He's probably a jerk. Yes, consider the source when someone gives you an opinion but I doubt every single girlfriend and family member you have asked are all jaded and bitter and unhappy. Maybe they're telling you something you just don't want to hear.
...have so much to say but ill try to keep it simple..
I am not jaded i call it man-hater. women that hate men. I am optimistic and also think men are people too. however they are from mars and we are from venus lol we are totally different species that speak different languages and express ourselfs differently. some still know how to manage to get along but alot dont wich is why theres divorce and broken hearts. unfourtunatly my mother is a man hater.. and yes my daddys kinda got ladies in line(till this day).. so therefor i have to take responsibilty for someone elses mess.I see both sides of the story which is a good thing. Ive read books on men and woman and they have guided me very much in my relationships. Listen to your gut,never fails. Its not hard to determine whos a man hater and whos not. personally i dont listen very much to my friends that are single.. i listen to the ones that have happy relationships. you know right from wrong? common courtesy? morals? ect... a man should too....one more thing.. society has taught us that bragging is bad so its a habbit to complain.. what are you telling these people giving you advice? do they only hear you talk bad about your special someone?... unfourtunatly in my case alot of the man haters around me tend to talk crap just out of jelousy and kill my moment. screw them do what makes you happy and if he makes you happy then you know what to do.. good luck
Star
spelling/grammar was hard to understand sometimes, but there were some really good nuggets of advice in here.
"Listen to your gut,never fails."
"Its not hard to determine whos a man hater and whos not. personally i dont listen very much to my friends that are single.. i listen to the ones that have happy relationships."
"you know right from wrong? common courtesy? morals? ect... a man should too..."
GREAT advice. listen to people who know what they're talking about, pay attention to your gut feelings, (meaning the part of your mind you can't rationalize away or lie to), and uphold the same moral and life standards in your man that you hold for yourself. do these things and you honestly can't go wrong.
I think one of the big reasons is that people don't immediately call up their friends and family when their SOs have been awesome. They do it when their SO fucks up (or when you *think* your SO fucked up). If they later learn that it was a big misunderstanding, or that the blame was much more evenly split than they originally thought, there isn't a frantic late-night phone call to the best friend to rehabilitate the SO in their eyes.
That is, you tell way more about the bad stuff than the good. The local news that runs lots of crime stories makes people think that there's a massive crime wave going on, even though crime stats have cratered over the last 25 years or so.