If he's directly at fault for making your face leak, he's probably thinking, "Initiate apology protocols! Update meta-motor cortex parameters, and reroute primary emotional algorithms through the positronic matrix! Set all behavior directives to "I'm sorry, baby," and await command!"
He's also thinking "Crap!" And "Beer!" He could also be thinking "I broke it, I bought it." I'm assuming we're talking about real tears. The guy said or did something that disappointed you or hurt your feelings. Because, let's be honest here, women cry as much as men don't. Some women cry to get their way. They use tears as weapons or bargaining chips. You've heard the tale of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf," right? Believe, every guy has dated "The Girl Who Cried."
If the guy is to blame and capable of taking any responsibility for his actions, he is feeling regret. He is thinking "This sucks. Seeing someone I love in pain hurts me in the bio-mechanical ball of meat that pumps my blood."
Men aren't as emotionally nimble as women. When it comes to emotions, women are like the beautiful, graceful gazelle that can gallop and weave, and make hairpin turns at high speeds. Men... we're like Rhinos. The tears will freak him out. He might look at you like you're suddenly the most fragile being in the universe, a woman made out of Pringles. But if he has any self-awareness, once his programming has reached it's logical conclusion, he will apologize and try to make amends, as best as he can.
haha, bio-mechanical ball of meat that pumps my blood. Love it!
"A woman made of pringles" I almost peed myself.
My boyfriend made me cry a couple weekends ago. I was trying to talk to him about something and he yelled at me and said he didn't want to talk about it. I'm sensitive, so I started crying. He started getting mad at me because I was crying. He does this every time he makes me cry. It drives me nuts. After about half hour of having an attitude, he finally apologizes and holds me in his arms.
No offense, but your boyfriend sounds like kind of a jerk.
I think you deserve better-- and not to freak you out but it sounds like the cycle of abuse. I don't know the dynamics of your relationship, but I remember studying it in a psychology class back during my undergrad years.
On the other hand, if you keep control of yourself too well, that freaks guys out too. They think you're a sociopath who is going to slit their throats while they're sleeping. I never have and I never will, but sometimes it's hard to be repressed.
I don't wanna be a bad guy here, but I don't like the phrase "making someone cry." You aren't really making them. I mean, for all other circumstances, we accept that people will do what people do, and you can't control someone else's behaviour or reactions, right? If I have to voice an issue, or get upset, or break some bad news, then that's what I have to do. Person A might react calmly, while person B might cry. But that is their reaction, which is out of my hands. I did not physically force tears from her eyes. She cried because that's how she reacts to things.
This of course doesn't make it okay to hurt people to the point that they cry. But if I'm a girl who is strong and can take things in stride, or maybe gets angry instead of blubbery, does that mean that it's somehow more okay to hurt me than a crier? If you did the same thing to two people, and one cries and the other doesn't, is the dry-eyed person less wronged?
The measure of someone's behaviour should be based on their actual behaviour, not on whether the object of their behaviour activates the waterworks or not.
For the record, I cry in front of my guy sometimes. But that's when I'm letting something out and I need support- the worst time for him to freeze up and lose rationality. If I feel truly wronged, I get mad- and that's when he really needs to apologize.
As a woman, I can tell you that the freaked out what's happening what did I do and how do I stop it feeling whenever someone's crying is universal. At least in my case.