Funny you should mention this, gentle reader. I just addressed this very same problem-- how texting, social networking and the like has made guys lazy in dating-- in a recent blog. Why do guys hate the phone? I know I'm guilty of it. Most of the time I'd much rather e-mail or text than call. But then I complain that my friends never call me. The point is, I'm a hypocrite.
Texting is a huge boon for the lazy guy. Oh, we can just type a few letters instead of actually dialing the numbers and using our vocal chords to make plans with you? Yes, please. Pass me another imported beer. And, let's be honest, you probably text a lot too. It's like a child in the schoolyard-- he sees you texting, and thinks it's okay. Then he pulls your hair because he secretly has a crush on you.
So why not take a break from texting yourself? Don't return his texts, call your friends in front of him even for little things. Pretend like you suddenly live in 1997. When you're together, talk about how sick you are of texting, how you've developed carpal tunnel from constantly "LOL-ing" and "OMG-ing." Hopefully he'll take the hint, notice that his texts are going unanswered, and finally dust off the "call" button on his phone.
Also, don't "sext" him. Seriously, "sexting" is the dumbest buzzword I've ever heard. Worse than "cougar." Rediscover the lost art of phone sex. Before you know it, he'll be calling you so much, you'll wish he would just text once in a while.
Texting is a huge boon for the lazy guy. Oh, we can just type a few letters instead of actually dialing the numbers and using our vocal chords to make plans with you? Yes, please. Pass me another imported beer. And, let's be honest, you probably text a lot too. It's like a child in the schoolyard-- he sees you texting, and thinks it's okay. Then he pulls your hair because he secretly has a crush on you.
So why not take a break from texting yourself? Don't return his texts, call your friends in front of him even for little things. Pretend like you suddenly live in 1997. When you're together, talk about how sick you are of texting, how you've developed carpal tunnel from constantly "LOL-ing" and "OMG-ing." Hopefully he'll take the hint, notice that his texts are going unanswered, and finally dust off the "call" button on his phone.
Also, don't "sext" him. Seriously, "sexting" is the dumbest buzzword I've ever heard. Worse than "cougar." Rediscover the lost art of phone sex. Before you know it, he'll be calling you so much, you'll wish he would just text once in a while.
yeah, this annoys me, too.
It's also a lot easier to pretend you're cool/smart/funny in print than on the phone or in person.
I actually ended it with the last guy I was seeing over this very issue. I kinda do live like it's '97 (I still have a flip & can barely text). I know it seems trivial, but said guy didn't get that the tiny bit of effort it took to speak to me versus texting at me mattered. In the end it kinda showed me how highly he thought of me. If he was that lazy & willing to make such little effort in the beginning, then I just couldn't imagine what it would be like when we moved out of the new-trying-to-impress-each other-phase. It really was a dealbreaker for me in that case.
Most guys I know hate talking on the phone, myself included. But Molly is right: if you're dating and she says it's important, then it's important and you can do it for her. Good relationships are about compromise.
I find that being able to stop, take a look at the gibberish coming out of you, and craft it into something coherent/funny/appealing makes texting and IMing a really comfortable medium. Too often I get into situations where I fumble over words and miss my chance to be really hilarious or suave. When it isn't a face-to-face interaction, texting is nice in that it lets me be the cool, confident person that a five-second delay allows for. Especially in the relationship-building phase: over time the fumbling and the idiosyncrasies become cherished qualities, but give a man whatever methods he needs to build that initial confidence around you.
Unless, of course, you just have a really annoying voice.
I find texting annoying and since I'm too cheap to buy a text included cell phone package, receiving texts annoys me because it's 10 cents a shot.
IM on the other hand is great. You can have a cohesive conversation over hours if both parties are busy. It's the perfect in between thing for work. It keeps you in contact with people when you couldn't be on the phone anyway.
As to the phone, I don't mind it as long as people don't call me during something important. Nothing drives me more batty than being called while driving and having the person want to engage my in conversation after I tell them I'm driving. Spit out why you called quickly so I can get back to driving!
Other than that, call me all you want. :)
Fortunately, most people, even my mom, are fine with IM conversations. Saves on the long distance bills, too. Although, I do really need to call my cousin, he types 10 words a minute on good days.
If your boyfriend/girlfriend has told you it's important to call rather than text, then you definitely need to call. That said, I'm of the female persuasion and I HATE [yes, in caps] talking on the phone. I much prefer to text, though humor doesn't come across as well as one would hope in mere print. As far as communication with me goes, it's got to be either in person or via text.
If you're flirting with a guy, but don't really know where you stand is it ok to text him for a casual grub grab? Or is it better to ask him out in person?
I'm a texter/emailer myself. But them, I'm also a writer, and find that I actually express myself more eloquently in print than verbally. Everybody has their modes of communication that they're most comfortable with- it isn't necessarily about laziness.