Eh, I don't know. You probably don't have to worry but it does seem kind of lame. On the one hand, I can't knock him for using Facebook to network with other artists. Plenty of people do make connections and meet other people in their field that way. And, to be fair, a lot of the women he's friending might wear revealing clothing and be actual artists. We shouldn't automatically assume that all the women he's friending are random skanks.
That said...Boy, has he hit on a way to ogle a bunch of scantily-clad women under the guise of "networking." To be honest, friending random people on Facebook who are in your chosen profession is the lazy person's version of networking. Is he attending art shows where these people might be and showing them his portfolio? Is he sending out samples of his artwork? Or is he just adding a bunch of other artists hoping they'll notice him? I can't say he's definitely looking to cheat on you, but he is definitely going about his networking in a super half-assed way.
Is he also adding guys? If he's only adding women, he's not really networking. Tell him how you feel. If it makes you uncomfortable, it's fair to ask him about it. Maybe some of them are online friends. You can also call him out on it. "Wow, you sure add a lot of skanky-looking women..." If the tables were turned, he'd probably be jealous if you were friending a bunch of shirtless dudes taking self-shots of their abs with their cameraphone. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable should be addressed. If you feel like he's being disrespectful, speak up.
Also, he's a sucker if he doesn't realize that half of the profiles are probably fake.
That said...Boy, has he hit on a way to ogle a bunch of scantily-clad women under the guise of "networking." To be honest, friending random people on Facebook who are in your chosen profession is the lazy person's version of networking. Is he attending art shows where these people might be and showing them his portfolio? Is he sending out samples of his artwork? Or is he just adding a bunch of other artists hoping they'll notice him? I can't say he's definitely looking to cheat on you, but he is definitely going about his networking in a super half-assed way.
Is he also adding guys? If he's only adding women, he's not really networking. Tell him how you feel. If it makes you uncomfortable, it's fair to ask him about it. Maybe some of them are online friends. You can also call him out on it. "Wow, you sure add a lot of skanky-looking women..." If the tables were turned, he'd probably be jealous if you were friending a bunch of shirtless dudes taking self-shots of their abs with their cameraphone. Anything that makes you feel uncomfortable should be addressed. If you feel like he's being disrespectful, speak up.
Also, he's a sucker if he doesn't realize that half of the profiles are probably fake.
"Is he also adding guys?"
~what he said.
Yeah. But they all have their clothes on, and usually post artwork, etc., rather than posed pictures of themselves. But I see your point.
Still makes me uncomfortable.
I asked him about it today. He said "Months ago I sent out mass friend requests to people in the art industry. Sometimes they had so many friends they couldn't accept right away so they're still trickling in... Stop having your feelings hurt by things like this. I am committed to you."
But there have been other things that've come up recently to make me feel weird and a little shaky about him. And he knows that.
I pointed out one in particular who appeared in the past few days. I told him how I felt. He hasn't deleted. *sigh* Would it be so hard to delete this one at least, just to make me feel better, as silly as it might seem to him?
Don't show him that this makes you insecure( they hate it when we're like that) . He knows well enough that this bothers you. Ultimately you can't tell him who he can and cannot friend. How'd you like it if made the same demands of you? Instead regroup, forget about this. Unless there were creepy exchanges being made between him and these chicks then I wouldn't think twice about it
I totally see where your coming from though, facebook in my opinion is waging a war on healthy relationships.
I think I AM definitely overreacting to this particular thing.
But for whatever reason, I feel uneasy about him in general. Obviously this isn't the only issue.
I like the 'regroup' idea.
"facebook in my opinion is waging a war on healthy relationships."
This is something to think about.
You said he also adds male artists. Plain and simple, you have little to worry about and it seems, solely by what I've gotten, that you're overreacting. I'm not saying not to worry at all, because there are exceptions. But this means little- UNLESS you have viable reason to believe otherwise (you said 'other things' have come up- what are they?). If there is no reason to suggest fishy behavior in the cheating department, asking him to delete one friend solely because you feel insecure is borderline selfish and will prove nothing.
I don't think I'll say anything else about the friends thing.
The other things are to do with dishonesty on his part early on in our relationship -- actually before we had an official relationship, but too close for comfort. This didn't come to light till the past couple of weeks. As often happens, I think I'm upset about one thing; turns out I'm REALLY upset about something else...
That depends. What is the specific issue with this one person? If it is just the way they are dressed (or not dressed), then it seems pretty arbitrary. Like you are just picking someone to exercise some power or control over him. If he allows you to randomly choose one person to defriend, what stops you from doing it again. You'd need to have a better reason than their looks, especially since he has already responded to what he thought were your issues with what's been going on.
Darling a lot of people add strangers on FB based on similarities, like, hobbies, etc, not just him. Stop worry about it! You need to get rid of those trust issues :)
If it is ONLY FEMALES, tons of them,
And he doesnt know all of them,
That, is being disrespectful.