My guess is that the closer you get to having another man's baby (that is what's happening here right?) the more he's starting to think about it and let those thoughts run his emotions and actions.
To be very frank, just like women want to be the first one to give a man a child, men feel similarly. It's hard to realize that the woman you love is carrying somebody else's child when you feel like it should be yours. Now, that doesn't excuse any behavior and likely you two just need to talk and have a very open and candid convo about what's about to happen.
I'm sure the job plays a part in it but if he's about to play daddy to a child that's not his he's probably just stuck in his thoughts. Because that's whats about to happen. At the end of the day, no matter how long he raises her or what, the "she's not your daugter" card can always be raised and that's bothersome. One day when you and he get into an argument and you decide you're better off without him...you can leave and take the daughter he decided to help raise and say, "she's not yours. Goodbye forever."
That's a lot of weight.
So you all just need to talk. My guess is that he's having a lot of real and understandable reservations about the situation and is reacting because of them.
I don't think the baby not being his is that big deal for him, he's already decided to be with you, so he's looking past that. It may be a minor concern, but only a minor concern.
I'm gonna say its nothing more than ordinary worries fathers to be have. Sometimes women don't realize, even fathers are affected by pregnancy. He's probably worrying he will fail as a dad, worrying someday in the future he might not be able to provide, maybe worrying he'll disappoint you. Combined with a high-stress job, he probably does retreat mentally. Most likely he's silent because our male pride makes him reluctant to confide such worries to you, out of fear of appearing to be weak. Unless he's been rude or disrespectful to you or verbally abusive, I'd say he's behaving like many first time fathers to be that I've seen.
Just as he's going to be there for you, you need to be there for him. Between his job and soon to be paternal responsibility, right now he's feeling the weight of Atlas on his shoulders. Let him know, preferably non-patronizingly, you appreciate his support and what he's done. Doesn't even take words, sometimes merely a tender hug, a lean on his shoulders, can work wonders in getting him to be open with you.
hopefully he will stick to his word about staying with you while knowing the child is not his. My mother met my dad who is not my biological father while she was pregnant. I am now 23 and he has never went back on his word. They broke up and he still participated in my life just as if he was my biological father. Most people in my life dont even know that he took me on before I was born. We have more of a relationship than some of my friends who have their biological fathers in their lives. I say all this to say, I wish you all the best of luck and hopefully if he is anything like my dad he will stick to his word and your daughter will have a great father just like I did.
hopefully he will stick to his word about staying with you while knowing the child is not his. My mother met my dad who is not my biological father while she was pregnant. I am now 23 and he has never went back on his word. They broke up and he still participated in my life just as if he was my biological father. Most people in my life dont even know that he took me on before I was born. We have more of a relationship than some of my friends who have their biological fathers in their lives. I say all this to say, I wish you all the best of luck and hopefully if he is anything like my dad he will stick to his word and your daughter will have a great father just like I did.
I met my husband when my daughter was thirteen years old...as a matter of fact SHE set us up. She had a friend whose parents and my now-hubby were roommate and my daughter decided it would be perfect. So far it's been 8 years and still going.
If you ask either one of them, he IS her daddy (or Ada as she calls him...it's Elven for daddy, LOL). ANd he tells people he was overseas when she was born (ex-Military), but he never bothers to tell them he was overseas when she was conceived too, LOL. They have a closer relationship that many kids do with their biological parent...and even in the tough times, when we were seperated, he STILL made sure to see her, take care ofher and be there for her just like a "real" father...because he IS her REAL father....he just chose the job, not inherited it.