Well, trusting him again is going to have to be a choice you make and hold fast to. If you're going to stay with him anyway.
Real talk, what that sounds like is that your dude was ready to bail. Planned on it and probably had been thinking about somebody else until he pulled the trigger. And then he thought about what he'd be losing OR the other chick he was interested in showed him that she wasn't interested (and yes, it really can happen that quickly) so he immediately came back to you trying to get his old spot back.
Even if he was unhappy, that's a crappy thing to do to somebody. And if I were you, I'd probably have pressed him for more of an answer. Sure it was only a one day thing but what the hell happened to make him break up with you in the first place. And THEN come back the next day? I honestly don't know if I would have let him come back that easy and "I don't know" definitely wouldn't have sufficed as a response.
So if you're going to stay with him, you just have to decide to trust him. I have no idea how he'd show you he was trustworthy in this instance short of just being there and not doing any other nincompoopery.
But at the first sign that he starts acting up, you really need to start talking to him and ensuring that he's open with you about what's really going on.
But I do think there was somebody else involved. Not trying to stir up anything, but that just seems so random that it can't be just a feeling he was having that he regretted. Not after four years.
I agree, "I don't know" is not much of an answer and I also think it is BS.
I dated a guy for two weeks, it was hot and fast, then he just stopped calling me. We worked together so I would see him from time to time. After a month and a half of awkward interaction, I asked if we could have a clean slate. He said yes but I did tell him I was mad at him for what he did. He then went on for 15 min about what was going on in his life and why he did what he did and I got an apology.
My point is that a guy I had known for two weeks knew why he did what he did, how could a man with a 4 year relationship at stake not know why he did what he did. I call BS.
If I were you I would talk to him and find out what happened. If he is not going to be forthright is this a guy you really want to be with? I would also wonder if what BBF said is true that another person is involved, would this happen again. He needs to come clean if he even deserves to keep you.
I'm gonna go with you need to cut yourself from this guy. If he can be this unstable, and yeah, that is unstable behavior, from out of the blue, the future doesn't bode well. And yep, I agree there was someone else involved, he got all thrilled up for the chase and she probably changed her mind and he realized he was going to be alone.
Actions have consequences. You're a human being, entitle to be treated with respect and dignity, not to be used at some man's whim. I seriously think you need to make the breakup permanent. He needs to learn he can't treat people, let alone his SO in this manner!
Or it could be cold feet. Being together 4 years and not sure what he wants. And he decides the breakup was a mistake...
okay i know this out of the blue guys but im a guy have problems with girlfriend she seem to be less less interested in me by the day goes she takes forever to reply to me and i really really like her but it feels like something between us and idk what it is cause she will space out and have the biggest smile on her face and ill ask what she say nothing and then ill comment how she looks that day i always say she pretty and stuff make her feel warm but something not right we been dateing 5 months but actually like 8 months now we took it slow at first but idk she seem kinda acting funny lately around me mostly
I'm going with SWSNBN on this one, it could have been a freakout depending on the kind of guy he is. Some guys just panic all of a sudden, or a problem may have been eating at him. I would definitely ask him why he did what he did, starting with you needing an explanation because you are feeling hurt, or scared, anxious, or all of the above and that having an explanation would really help. He may not respond right away, I would give him time, I wouldn't give him a day but just some time to let him work through it though because whatever it was, it must have been serious and he could be feeling just as emotionally charged as you.
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