Gonna go out on a limb here and say no. Everybody swears that they can cross that bridge and come out safely on the other side but it rarely ever happens. Shucks, isn't that why Ashton Kutcher and Natalie Portman made No Strings Attached? To show that the best laid efforts of mice and men often come up short?
Somebody always catches feelings, and it's not always the woman. People are jealous by nature and the sharing of intimacy ratchets up the jealousy factor by like 100. After you've been intimate a different level of expectation arises. Somebody doesn't call and it infuriates the other person. It's made worse because you were already friends and friends wouldn't disrespect eachother by NOT calling.
The point is, as much as people swear they can bump uglies free of worry or "strings", we just aren't built that way, and specifically MOST women aren't. A lot of men can compartmentalize and make it just a sex thing, but even then there are men who cannot. The best advice I can give before you think about engaging in such a practice is this:
Get married.
DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!
That is all.
Can you even be best friends without "feelings"? I mean, to have that level of friendship means you must really care about each other and a whole heap of other "platonic" feelings as well.. throw sex in the mix and what do you have? A RELATIONSHIP. Am I missing something? Romantic relationships are just friendships on orgasmic fire.
"throw sex in the mix and what do you have?"
A former best friend. A perfectly ruined friendship. A big pile of mess.
So so so true... I thought I could hook up with a friend because I didn't think it would go anywhere and that knowledge would make it okay somehow by helping me compartmentalize. Why not? Might as well have a little fun, right? WRONG. Now, I've started to have stronger feelings for him, and it seems like they aren't reciprocated. Just don't do it unless you're into things that are emotionally masochistic. It might be fun while it lasts, but think about what it will leave you with. In the long run, it's not worth the subsequent pain of rejection that will chip off a bit of your self-worth and leave you feeling a little more empty inside.
So so so true... I thought I could hook up with a friend because I didn't think it would go anywhere and that knowledge would make it okay somehow by helping me compartmentalize. Why not? Might as well have a little fun, right? WRONG. Now, I've started to have stronger feelings for him, and it seems like they aren't reciprocated. Just don't do it unless you're into things that are emotionally masochistic. It might be fun while it lasts, but think about what it will leave you with. In the long run, it's not worth the subsequent pain of rejection that will chip off a bit of your self-worth and leave you feeling a little more empty inside.
Your "thinking with his penis?" answer isn't working!! I'm curious!!!
Been there, done that. I went in half-wishing we could date but knowing he didn't want that and we wouldn't work anyway. I ended up in a massive, ugly triangle with him and another female friend with whom he had a complicated relationship. Both friendships got destroyed. While I've since rebuilt my friendship with the guy, it took 3 years before we could address the past. However, he taught me so much and it was so good at the time that if life came with do-overs, I might still hook up with him and just try to be less clingy.
Lately I've been messing around with another guy friend, one whom I'd never, ever want to date. His condition is that I not get too emotionally involved. I've been learning a lot about myself, and most of the fallout has been with my bff, as a result of the fact that he's her ex. While it's definitely true that expectations change when you start hooking up, and I've had vulnerable moments where I was thoroughly pissed at him because it felt like he was just using me for sex and not treating me like a friend, I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with him. Oh, and he tends to randomly come through on the "friends" part just as I'm at my most steamed up, usually without even knowing that anything was wrong.
if u messing around with a guy, no emotions, y so annoyed hes using u 4 sex? u r using him just as much
y u messing with ur bff's ex? u shittng where u sleep
Ashton Kutcher? That you?
If I could change one person's mind on the "sleeping with a great friend" issue, I'd die a happier man. I had a friend "J" who had a rep for being a bit promiscuous, but I never went there because she was my good time party gal. We became good friends; then one night years later while wasted we hooked up. We were way too smashed for anything substantial to happen, but I think we both became curious.
What started as friends getting together when lonely; spawned jealousy on both sides (her: of my new date; me: of her ex who she would still go back to); mutual disappointment; and after some embittered, angry words one night, I lost her as the friend she was forever.
We're civil, even pleased to see each other, 5 years on; but we will never be the friends we were; and it cuts me to the core to think that it would have been easily avoided.
Think of it this way: "Are you willing to lose the person in question as a friend, forever?" Because sexual partners are a far more transient relationship than bona-fide friends.
I think that, by and large, the issues listed in these comments come from people who see only the societal norms of relationships. Yes, you CAN have a sexual relationship with a friend and it can be rewarding and healthy. However, it will not be without feelings and it will be very hard work. Thousands of people across the globe have secondary relationships outside of their primary with full support and permission from their partners. The key is honesty, communication, and understanding that you are not required to love only one person - love is not limited. Resources like time, energy and money are, so the whole thing is a balancing act, but it need not be a delicate one. I suggest, though, that before entering into this situation, you, your friend and (if you have one) your primary partner get educated. Read "Opening UP" together and discuss. For most people, it's not going to work, but if it's important to you, you can make it work. Don't assume it's impossible.
Please don't do it I had been friends with my guy friends for over 15 years and we decided to sleep together and we have not talked in over three years and we used to talk nonstop everyday!!!!! It complicated our feelings for one another it became a time when we didn't know how to be our self around each other so I mad the decision to end our friendship...