Yes, of course you can. Love is not an exclusive thing, but rather the more you have, the more you give.
Loyalty, on the other hand, is exclusive. You got a husband you say you love. Solemn promises you made. Don't go breaking him, or them, just for a bit of excitement.
...... how much you want to wager she's breaking her "solemn" vow , right about nowish?
The more you tell someone to ignore a feeling , the more likely it is the persons going to cave in anyways.. Human emotions are fucked... Thats why I give up.
I'll take that bet. If she was going to cave, she'd not have asked.
what about woman with loveless married can have feeling for someone she truly love. it is guity?
If she is in a loveless marriage and finds someone she loves, yes it is still guilty until she leaves her husband. A loveless marriage is a sad thing that should be put out of its misery as soon as possible.
There is no such thing as "destiny", honey. People use words like "destiny" and "fate" to create excuses when they know they're about to do something wrong or questionable. It makes them feel like the victim of a force they cannot control...which is total crap.
Interesting though that the people who cheat (or "the other man/woman"), are frequently told that "Karma's a bitch", or "what goes around comes around"...do those statements not suggest something resembling "fate"? I absolutely agree with you, but there seems to be a double sided sword when it comes to this stuff
I don't believe in karma, either actually. Common sense tells us that karma does not exist or is at best, inconsistent. Every day I watch bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people, so I've given up on "karma". It makes us feel better to to tell cheaters it will come back to bite them, but I've dealt with my fair share of them, and trust me, quite often they end up not facing any repercussions.
Yeah, people use it as an excuse all the time. It is a good one for avoiding the guilts: "This is bigger than both of us, baby," and tends to be complete twaddle.
Though the actual concept of destiny is something I do reluctantly believe in.
What about just dating two guys at the same time? (The key word is “dating” not in a relationship with one or the other) Can you have feelings for both? Do you tell one about the other? I would be honest, if one asked, but I don’t think I need to volunteer the info. Do the rules change if you become intimate with one or both? What do you think?
My hard and fast rule has always been "Once things get serious, side dating stops completely. Until then, have fun."
I really don't see how folk can repeatedly date without having some feelings for the ones they are seeing - that is just perverse.
That's a good rule to have. Thanks...
It may be time to weigh out whether or not you should be married. You need to figure out what is lacking in your marriage by communicating with your spouse, then decide if Mr. Destiny is really the person you should be with. Go to the begining. What made you love your husband in the first place? It usually is a good starting point. What made Mr Destiny so appealing? That could be the key to what is missing in your marriage... just a thought...
"thrown at you by destiny? "
Gag.
Make whatever choice you like, it's your life, and we're not here to judge. But take responsibility and don't go blaming "destiny."
I think Julie's ^ response is sound. The seven year itch isn't a myth, there are studies to back it up: it's biological. Is it an itch or is it real?
"Destiny" threw me a man (seriously, there is no other reason for us to have met), I caught him (and a lengthy divorce that has forever ruined my finances), and I couldn't be happier with the choice I have made. But a choice must be made - that is the problem. Are you willing to sacrifice the vows you have made to your husband, his trust in you, and the life you have made together for "Destiny"? Unfortunately, society (and probably your husband) won't let you have it both ways.
Here's a better question: Who do you like more? Trapped on a desert island / in an elevator / long roadtrip - which do you choose? Your hand will be forced if you don't do it yourself.
I like Mystery Mans answer very much. Love isn't the answer here, but integrity is. My test in this matter is to look honestly at said marraige, and based not only on feelings, but on the truth, acknowledge the lack that led you to this other attraction. If there is something missing in the marraige that needs to be addressed, look honestly at if it CAN be addressed. Its possible that the marraige only needs some extra care and communication to have all that energy put back on track. It might also be true that the marraige is already over and when looked at clearly with or without the distraction of another man you might have to have the courage to walk away. Integrity isn't just 'keeping a promise', its also about understanding why the promise is made, and if its time to reevaluate in a healthy healing way. Love is a feeling thats hard to rely on...integrity is good for everyone.
I like Mystery Mans answer very much. Love isn't the answer here, but integrity is. My test in this matter is to look honestly at said marraige, and based not only on feelings, but on the truth, acknowledge the lack that led you to this other attraction. If there is something missing in the marraige that needs to be addressed, look honestly at if it CAN be addressed. Its possible that the marraige only needs some extra care and communication to have all that energy put back on track. It might also be true that the marraige is already over and when looked at clearly with or without the distraction of another man you might have to have the courage to walk away. Integrity isn't just 'keeping a promise', its also about understanding why the promise is made, and if its time to reevaluate in a healthy healing way. Love is a feeling thats hard to rely on...integrity is good for everyone.
This is honestly my favorite guyspeak article. I always come back to this to remind myself I'm not a horrible person for quasi liking someone, as long as I don't act on it. Thanks MM, keep up the amazing work :)
I have to say that for the last couple of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this website. Keep up the good work.
I have to say that for the last couple of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this blog. Keep up the good work.
I agree
Yes, you can love more than one person at a time. Is it right? No, of course not. However it is certainly possible.
Be careful.