I'm gonna say that no, there are no signs unless dude is a douchebag in the first place, you knew it, and if you married him anyway, then its your own fault.
I think that for most people, men included, when they get married they intend it to be for life. I can't imagine any man would intentionally marry somebody just to have for 20 years and then dump her for a newer model. Naw. Not with the price of divorce (alimony, child support, etc) going through the roof. It would be idiotic for any man to enter into a relation thinking about dipping out eventually.
I think that the only men are thinking about "trading up" or attempto to do so to find a wife in the first place. So you trade up on a girlfriend, not a wife. If divorce does happen, its likely that it's not about wanting to get a better wife so much as it's the current marriage isn't working for whatever reason.
On the scale of things to worry about, that one seems like something that's not necessary to concern yourself with.
lol my EX husband used to make this joke all the time. "smarten up or i'm trading you in for a newer model." unfortunately for him i traded him OUT in exchange for freedom and an extra load of trash to go out that week. funny thing is, his "newer" model is only newer in terms of entrance in his life and looks markedly older than i and her double digit dress size doesnt even compare lol in all seriousness though, i know a lot of women worry about this hence the botox infested society, my thoughts are if you are worried about someone trading up, you are either not thinking highly enough of yourself or you are with the wrong person. so trade UP your own self esteem points, or trade UP your man.
Right, because you can tell how good their relationship must be by her age and dress size, since those things guarantee happiness!
that wasnt my point. mine was that he kept threatening to marry someone younger and smaller and didn't. and i dont know about their happiness, but i do know they both behave in mean ugly ways and i know that happy people generally don't.
INteresting question. I think all women think of this. This is why I am very skeptical when dating younger guys (around my age)...who's to say he wont leave me for a younger girl when we age.
But then again I cant live my life weighing the pros and cons of being with someone and how they will act, I can only control my behavior. So think about this instead: how can i get a guy to love me for me instead of :will he be faithful for life?
Good luck.
(not all women think of that.., I know I don't)
yes, generalize about all women everywhere. i love it when people (men and women) do that :p
Uh, yeah, sure.
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Ahh, you mean they'll commit a Donald Trump on you-- trade up from the blonde once upon a time bombshell who birthed your kids, for a newer flashier model of the same, then tire of that one once her wrinkles or other defects become apparent, and finally trade up again for a much newer altogether different model that's half his age? *cringes*
I think history has shown that plenty of successful men feel entitled to upgraded versions of trophy wives as soon as they get restless with the one they already have. I also think the only sure fire way you'll ever know if he's the type of man who will do that to you is by evaluating the choices he's made in the past in regard to the trail of girlfriends/spouses he's left behind. If he's the type of guy who's constantly hedging his bets and always has his eye out for the "next best thing/someone" -- then maybe that should prompt you to pause and reconsider whether anyone will ever satisfy a man that constantly needs to have his masculinity validated by the shinier and more youthful arm candy he feels compelled to acquire every few years.
That said, I do feel that there are more than enough guys out there who once they're in a committed relationship are in it for the long haul -- come what may. As corny as it may sound to some out there, some of my guy friends-- in rare moments of candor (and/or drunkeness) have admitted to actually wanting to get old with someone (and actually looking forward to a time when they're just content because they're accepted and loved for who they've become).
I think if you spend so much time being paranoid that some guy is going to "trade you in for a better model", you're doing yourself a disservice. You're allowing the idea that you are not good enough to take hold. You are also doing your gentleman, whoever he may be, a disservice as well since you're not even considering giving him the benefit of the doubt. For most people (certainly not all) marriage is a big deal. Trusting people is hard, but you have to learn to trust your gut more.
Agree with many of the above. If you've ever seen the show "MIllionaire Matchmaker" with Patty Stanger (she's annoying, but there are some good lessons to be had) she identifies specific dude-traits with men that always want the "BBD" (bigger better deal).
They are internally insecure, though seem confident and complete on the exterior. They have all the money in the world, and often can buy affection, but are little boys inside, feeling that if they have the hottest chick available, it validates them on the success ladder.
Watching this, we can see this is a Huge. Red. Flag. Visible from Outer Space.
Wish these guys came with a big red X on their forehead so we could see them coming a mile away....
I've been caught up in more of these than I want to admit. Guess my "guy picker" wasn't calibrated very well.
Best advice I've received to get through this type of issue is to be happy and confident with yourself, and not worry about what you can't control (HIM), but focus on what you can (YOU).