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Please help! In a few weeks I'm meeting my boyfriend's ENTIRE family, parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc, for the first time. I am terrified of making a bad impression and want everything to go perfectly. Can you please give me some tips?

Yes, here's a tip: RELAX.

Unless you're dating Prince Harry or a Gotti, there's no reason to be tied up in knots about meeting these people. They're just people, and probably worried that you won't like them, either. You have to relax, because the more nervous you are, the more likely you are to make a fool of yourself.

It's easy to make a good impression: just be yourself. Unless you're a raving moron or an obnoxious git (and you don't sound like either of those), you should be perfectly capable of making a good impression just by being yourself. If you try acting a certain way to impress, people will know it and will label you a big fat phony.

What exactly are you worried about? That they won't like you? Even if that happens, so what? You won't be the first girlfriend a guy's family doesn't like. You're dating him, not them.

Sure, it will be great if they like you, but it's not mandatory. I think they will, though, because you obviously care about this guy. And that is exactly what will endear you to them, the fact that you care about their son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin. They want him to be with someone who truly loves him, and if you do, it will show. That's why all you have to do is be yourself. Pretty simple.

A glass of wine might not hurt, either.

Good luck. Let me know how it goes.

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9 Comments

Mike

Agreed.

Be yourself, have fun. For the first meeting I'd avoid conversations about religion and politics unless you know for certain that you're going to agree with the family about it.

After the first couple times, then the lines about controversial subjects get blurred.

Mannon

Good points, and I've got to agree with Mike; avoid loaded conversational topics. Other than that, just try to relax. Ask them questions about themselves if you can, or about your boy's childhood, stuff like that. Once there's been a few laughs and stories told, everybody tends to settle into friendly conversation.

user-pic

I have to meet my boyfriend's wealthy - right wing - Bill O'Reilly watching - polo shirt wearing - church going family very soon.. the problem is that I'm a poor artist - left-wing - atheist - illegitimate child of a lesbian.

Not writing this for sympathy, on the contrary, just letting you know that your meeting can not possibly THAT scary.

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actually.... i'm not a poor artist or child of a lesbian, but the "his family" description is dead on, and i'm agnostic, tattooed, and liberal. and i don't own a single polo shirt. and ps- for how different you are from your boyfriend's upbringing, i say bravo for getting together!! i hope your meeting goes really, really well!!!

thanks to everyone else for all the wonderful advice. i love the online community at this site- so much support and insight.

cary- thanks so much :-) i will definitely leave out how great (amazing) he is in bed. and i'll update you- 10 days to go!!! eeeeek

jude

They're people, just like you. They aren't any better or any worse than you. Sure, be kind and polite (and avoid hot topics!), smile and say, "It's nice to meet you," and follow their lead. Every family is different, but being courteous never goes out of style. Gravitate toward an easy-going family member; that'll give you an "in" with the more cautious members. At first, listen more than you talk, then go from there.
You'll be just fine.

Daisy

"Obnoxious git" made me giggle.

Harmony

"skip the part about how great he is in the sack" ~ Made me laugh out loud! When my family first met my BIL, Thanksgiving Dinner (a huge party event for my family), he got wasted and ended up telling my dad he was "pussy-whipped." He's never lived it down..but we all love him regardless.

I agree with WA, just be yourself...and have fun with it!

user-pic

There are some interesting cut-off dates in this article but I don’t know if I see all of them heart to heart.

user-pic

Im scared! Its not like im going to meet my man's family for the first time. Ive actually met them before my boo went back to usa--yes, we are in a long distance relationship. And weve been aprt for 1 yr and 4 months, so to speak but there never goes a day without talking to each other, in short our communication is very very good compared to other LDR couples. Anyway, going back, my bf's cousin is inviting me to her son's 1st bday and im nervous!!! I dunno what to do without my boyfriend beside me. Im so terrified. My bf told me to relax and he knows that everything will work out fine. But how? Help! Fyi, the party will be this Saturday! Gaaaaah! :( help!

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