Well, I was exaggerating, of course. Men don't really think about sex all the time. We think about it a lot of the time, but not every waking moment of every day. As for your husband, yes, I suppose it's possible for a man to lose complete interest in sex, although I've never really understood that. We all experience ups and downs in our libido, but not ever wanting physical contact of any kind isn't normal.
Has he always been like this with you, or is it a recent development? Things like stress, depression, and certain medications can kill a person's sex drive. If he was previously sexual and then suddenly stopped, you need to consider what changes in his life might have caused the loss of drive. If he has always been this way with you, did you think he would change after you got married?
I don't think your husband has a sexual problem; I think he has an intimacy problem. There is a difference. Sex is a physical expression of intimacy. Intimacy is the feeling of closeness and trust that you have with someone, an emotional nakedness where you feel completely open and vulnerable, but not afraid. The fact that your husband won't even touch or kiss you tells me that his dysfunction is emotional, not sexual. He doesn't feel close enough to you to boink you, and yes, this is a requirement for many men, too. It's not just women who need an emotional connection before they can have a physical one.
The other possibility is that he is having an affair and getting his ya-ya's out elsewhere. I know what he claims, but cheating men have been known to lie.
Whatever the reason, it's a serious problem. Sex is the basis of a marriage--not necessarily the most important thing, but the basis. If you aren't experiencing that level of intimacy in the bedroom, then I doubt you are experiencing it outside the bedroom. What's the point of being married without intimacy? You might as well have a cat.
Don't accept a sexless marriage as "just the way things are," unless you think divorce is just the way things are, because that's where this situation usually leads. You need to find out what's really going on. Talk to him. Tell him you cannot accept a marriage without affection and intimacy, and talk about ways you can fix it.
Good luck, and thanks for the question.
This happened to me, in my case it was because he didn't love me, despite claiming that he did. He 'fessed up after we were divorced. Is the relationship otherwise ok?
I did this to my husband. It was due to taking birth control pills. Once I stopped taking them things are back to BETTER than before and sex and intimacy is fantastic. PLEASE, have him go to the doctor for a complete check-up including thyroid etc... If you end up splitting up due to a health/depression issue, you will be sorry. Now that we are past that issue, I have never been happier and cringe to think we would have probably divorced if we went on that way. I just didn't care about physical contact AT ALL and was not attracted to other people either. You truely don't realize how bad it is until you start to feel better. Worth a shot!
He could be gay. That's what happened to me. You'd be astounded to know how prevalent this is. Check out www.gayhusbands.com for more information on how to tell if this is something that could be going on in your marriage. I certainly hope not, but it's better to know. Knowledge is power.