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Could you help me explain to my tweens exactly what a "disco stick" is? I'm having trouble coming up with a plausible answer for them.

Well, first you have to tell me what a disco stick is, because I have no idea. Hang on a sec.

Ok, I looked it up. There seem to be several definitions for disco stick, but I'm assuming you mean penis. The kids heard a Lady Gaga song on the radio, did they? And now they're asking you what a disco stick is. Damned kids -- always with the awkward questions.

Here's what you tell them: It's a crude slang phrase for the penis. And, like hundreds of other colorful euphemisms for male and female anatomy, probably not something they need to be repeating.

If they ask what it means exactly or why someone would call it that, just be honest: Who the hell knows? It's Lady Gaga, for chrissakes.

The most plausible answer to anything is usually the truth.

You're welcome.

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15 Comments

Michael Swaim

I guarantee you that wasn't the answer they were looking for. If you need further advice, questioner, I'm totally up for crafting elaborate and fanciful tales about Lord Archibald and his Disco Stick of Virtue.

tellyy

it does mean a male penis and thats what lady gaga say in her song,then again there is a lot of words for male penises.

harley

please tell the tail of lord archibald and his disco stick of virtue, im intrigued

Bobolequiff

Y'know, oddly enough my ex once referred to her lady parts as "Archibald" (Don't ask).


Wait a sec. Does that make me the disco stick of virtue?!

Cary McNeal

Nobody wants to hear about your hamcannon, Swaim. Take it somewhere else.

Nick Nadel

Wasn't Disco Stick a Transformer? Or one of the Village People? The cowboy maybe?

GalSpeak

When I was six I overheard my older brothers throw the word blow-job out there and although they spent 5 minutes trying to convince me they said blow-dryer - I went running to mommy. When I asked her what it meant she looked dismayed but told me the truth. I was totally grossed out but knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my mother told me the truth. It opened the door to a very honest relationship that we still have to this day. I will play it exactly same way with my kids. Good job Wise-Ass!

Cary McNeal

Thank you, GalSpeak.

What's a blow job?

user-pic

You'll learn someday, Cary, if you're very, very good.

When my daughter was 11 or 12 she asked me what a dildo was. After my vision returned, I realized there was only one answer. I told her it was a plastic penis. She said "Oh."

Once I realized I didn't have to explain the care and feeding of the damned thing, the answer was easy.

Melissa

"I told her it was a plastic penis."

The simplest answer is best isn't it? I would have probably wondered how to explain what it was used for, my mind racing...

Cary McNeal

Oh, is it plastic? So it's a type of dildo. See, WTF do I know?

Bev

I love Lady Gaga and I agree that a disco stick is a euphemism for a penis as well as a nod towards the infamous stripper pole phenomenon. It's dance music, after all!

I also agree that honesty is the best policy. Once my mom asked me what a queef was. That was awesome.

Cary McNeal

What's a queef?

Bev

Exactly, Cary. Exactly.

user-pic

What a lovely day for a 3843039! SCK was here

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