Exactly what he's getting.
See--and this is a GROSS oversimplification--a man's biological and evolutionary nature guides him to pursue several relationship goals: procreation, a lack of being yelled at, and minimal commitment. As much as we play at being civilized, if we could press a button and have consequence-free sex with any woman we wanted to, we would have to replace the button every month because it would be worn down by overuse.
Okay, not always just sex. Plenty of guys have at least pulled themselves out of the primordial ooze enough to see the value of a relationship. You get your emotional needs fulfilled, sex on top of it, and someone smaller than you around all the time to make you feel like a giant. But that doesn't mean the "as little commitment as possible" rule is no longer in effect.
If you've been dating for 18 months and this guy literally gives you the silent treatment when you suggest meeting his family or friends, then either all of his family and friends died in a hilarious accident (hence the smiling) or he's perfectly happy with the level of commitment you're at, and has no desire to take things further.
He wants what he's getting. The good news is, he's happy. If you're happy too, then congratulations! You're half of a happy couple. They're rare these days. If you want more, then know that you might not get it out of this guy, or you might have to push him to get it, which usually backfires anyway.
Enjoy what you have or change it, because from the sound of it, he's not about to.
Although if you seriously accepted a silent smile as an answer, and he's allowed to say "no" when you try to break things off, there's a very real chance you're straight up pussy-whipped.
Or...dick-whipped? Egad, but that sounds so much dirtier.
dick whipping is probably the funniest tag ever.
so is that like a dick beating? always wondered what that was, a beating on the genitals or a beating by genitals(like a flail).either way jack o brien intimidates me...
Maybe he is married?
Hilarious accident, lol....
Okay... what if it's been 4 months and he's still hasn't placed a label on the relationship? Nor have I met any of his friends or family members (granted, his entire family lives in other parts of the US, quite far away!)... He's been seriously hurt in the past (it's been a few years now, though) and he guards himself closely... I've met his daughter, my daughter and I have hung out with them often - but his daughter just knows me as the mom of my daughter, she isn't aware that there's any type of relationship between her daddy and I...
I'm trying to be patient with him, I REALLY like him... but 4 months now!! By now he should know if he wants to be with me or not, right?!
Well, I find putting time limits on "Relationship steps" is usually a recipe for disaster. And is it just me, or is four months not really that long? If his family really lives far away, that's kind of a legitimate excuse. I'd be more concerned with him not explaining the situation to his daughter. If you feel like he'd respond well, it might be worth bringing up your concerns, and asking what his plan is for introducing the idea of you two dating to his daughter. Telling someone how to raise their child is pretty much NEVER okay, but asking for his thoughts on the subject shouldn't do any harm. And if it does, then the relationship's on pretty precarious footing, and that's good to know.
thank you for replying!! I was beginning to think I was invisible on here!!
In regards to his daughter, when we are together (with both of our girls) the girls like to gang up on him and get crazy... poking him, jumping on him, etc. and he's recently begun including me in the "play" that goes on between he and the girls... for example, if they tap him on the arm, he taps me (instead of tapping them back, as usual)... and he will tickle my feet and such too, in front of the girls...
could it be that he's trying to "ease" his daughter into the idea? maybe testing the waters, to see how she reacts?? He's got her every other week 50/50 custody with his ex, and they're accustomed to it being just the two of them when she's with him...
Simply put, your his side chick.
I dated a guy for two years, who I didn't want any of my friend to meet b/c he my closet guy. A friend of mine recently told me that a "a number 2 can never be a number 1" and I don't mean bowel movements! if he doesn't consider you dating/relationship priority aka #1 then chances are, you a fill-in for someone better (he is just waiting). I've been there before, and I am not try to be hurtful, but if he's not proud to introduce you to his friends and family then leave him for someone who is!
Yep, I agree with the last comment. I just found our my bf of 2 yrs had been cheating the whole first year. I ended up talking to the other woman several times, she didnt know about me, or that we lived together, or had a child! She knew something was up when she kept calling the house but it was always forwarded to his cell phone (her number only) and he didn't tell her where he moved, and always had an excuse for not bringing her around any of his fam, etc. She just accepted the lame lies telling herself he just wasn't ready to commit but kept pathetically hoping he would come around. She never thought he had a family at home! What a DOUCHEBAG!
i think all my questions are answered....
guy ive been datig for for over a year never has tried to have sex, says hes slow at it, he refuses to call me girlfriend, gets quiet when i bring it up, the other night we were talking and he was upset about something his daughter did, and he blurts out " GOD I HATE BEING ALONE WHEN I HAVE A CRISIS". i said ummm alone? only a single person who doesnt have a girlfriend or boyfriend would say they hate being alone, and he said it to ME. He buys me all this stuff,,,,,,,when he hugs me he looks around laughing like hes either nervous or gay.....who goes over a year with someone and doesnt try to have sex, a kiss even, a cuddle, i get a hug ,,,,,,,yet he cant stay away from me......wtf
am glad i found this website..so i guess i been going through the same thing and i need help..i been with this guy for the past year in june it will be 2..our relationship dont have a tittle but i have meet his family and some of his friends and he tells them am his girl but that's not the same as his Girlfriend ..am getting to the point were am tired of people in the same place ..i want to be his official girlfriend but i just don t know how to ask him with out sounding thirsty(desperate)..can someone help me? :/
am glad i found this website..so i guess i been going through the same thing and i need help..i been with this guy for the past year in june it will be 2..our relationship dont have a tittle but i have meet his family and some of his friends and he tells them am his girl but that's not the same as his Girlfriend ..am getting to the point were am tired of people in the same place ..i want to be his official girlfriend but i just don t know how to ask him with out sounding thirsty(desperate)..can someone help me? :/