You know, men and women are really emotionally and mentally stunted a lot of times when it comes to dating. And this could very well be one of those times. Let me make some fairly large leaps of faith of here.
It's possible that this was his way of effectively saying, "you're great for a wife, but right now I'm not looking for a wife so even though I'm not saying it, I'm hoping that you will read between the invisible and totally non-contextual tea leaves and see that I'm just not ready to date you right now. Thanks for the good times and hopefully for your clairvoyance."
I wrote about this somewhere at one point...this notion of men not being ready to meet the woman they might rightfully end up marrying. Not to say it even has to be that deep, but perhaps he's just not mature enough to say that out loud to you. Or maybe he's been extremely busy (but let's be real, who the hell is too busy to send a text nowadays?).
While I'd recommend that you hear that from him as opposed to just me, I'm thinking that maybe you should be prepared to hear him say something like what I wrote up yonder. I'm hoping that I'm wrong and all of his texting fingers got caught in a door so he hasn't been able to text and/or (by default) dial a phone number and he'll figure it out soon enough.
But its just possible that your guy got scared of and you can now commence to singing Beyonce's "Best I Never Had".
"I'm hoping that you will read between the invisible and totally non-contextual tea leaves and see that I'm just not ready to date you right now. Thanks for the good times and hopefully for your clairvoyance." LMAO!
You know, men say women are complicated, but they're the ones that make everything messy. I'm dating a guy, he takes me on a great trip, we talk everyday, see each other 3x a week, and tells me i'm "like" a gf. WTF! When I ask for a real commitment he says he's not ready for that, bc he hates his job, where he lives, etc. 3 months later he still texts me, calls me, takes me out and wants to see me. Really? All you have to do is say we're in a relationship, and call it a day. I don't get it. You like me, I like you, what's the problem?
Men, I tell ya.
BTW, I loved your answer! =)
Yessi we're in the same boat.
I guess some guys just know where they stand don't need a label or reassurance where are we women need to know things.
Yessi we're in the same boat.
I guess some guys just know where they stand don't need a label or reassurance where are we women need to know things.
OR, maybe they're waiting until they're absolutely sure they can't get anything better before they finally decide you're "good enough." I'm sorry, but there's a reason why people keep saying this: If he really wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. It's a lesson most of us have learned the hard way.
I truly believe that also, that if he wanted to be with me, he'd be with me. But then every time I make an effort to move past this situation he calls me, offers financial help with whatever I may need, and offers to buy me whatever I want. I get so upset because he wants to give me all this materialistic s#&t and all I want is just the emotional stuff :(
How did you guys leave things? DId you have a comment back. I mean from my experience it sounds like he is afraid and not ready to move a head in your relationship. But he also might be afraid now to contact you after what he said. Ask yourself is he worth it? You should be with someone who wants the same thing as you do. Don't look at it in a negative way. Dont blame yourself. The best advice I can give you is take this experience and learn from it. Move on to the next. Realize is this the type of guy you want to be with? Or is there something about this person that you now know you dont want in another relationship? Dont think coulda woulda shoulda it will only make you crazy. Its his loss not yours. But its not 1950s anymore you dont have to sit around waiting for a guy to contact you. If you want an answer or feel a certain way no one can tell you what to do. Take a chance and do what you feel is right. But there can always be consequences with those chances. But that is your choice.
When a guy's behavior/actions differ from the words that are coming out of his mouth, you have one of two options. Be done him and move on or talk to him about it in an effort to establish clearly what's going on, what each of you wants, what exactly it is that you're doing, etc. With the latter option, however, you should be prepared for him to flat out tell you he's not interested in being anything with you.
WOAH BFF. Is this actually true? Are the words you are stating actually true and possible?!
After three months, why would a guy open up and say to you "I can see myself marrying you someday" and then come back with "But I'm just not ready for a relationship right now" (and yes, this happened to me just last month, he's 28 if that is any extra info).
I guess my question is, why confuse a girl into believing she could be his 'one' and then completely withdraw when it comes down to a present and current commitment? Is timing really the case here? Why let a good thing go?
I wondered that about my ex.