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Dear BFF, I'm 22, a virgin (it's not public knowledge though), intelligent, an 8.5 (i asked a gay male friend) and I can see through guys' games and call them out on their BS. So most guys quit after 5 min. I've also been told that I'm wife material. So my question is: how/where do I find a good man?! Help!

You mean the guys aren't lining up to take you out, wine and dine you, and propose to you?

I also love that asking a gay man what your rating is determines just how hot you are (or presumably are not).

Here's my suggestion for you...if you are all this perfection (as you are advertising yourself to be) then I imagine the good guys are going to show up. They'll just be mixed in with all of the ungood guys. And you'll have to spend more time sifting through and getting to know some of these guys who aren't lasting five minutes dealing with you. Chances are that some of those guys you seem so hellbent on calling out are probably actually good guys who are just doing what they think they're supposed to do. You're young and I'm guessing the guys you are dealing with are young too. With age comes maturity. I'm fairly confident these chaps will grow up over time.

So where exactly do you find a good man? The same places you are finding the crappy ones since I'm guessing somebody of your fine, upstanding character isn't seeking out men in dive bars, pr0n stores, and strip clubs. You just have to be open enough to not try to kick a guy to the curb from jump.

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4 Comments

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Perhaps you are a bit TOO good at "calling them out on their BS". So when good men do approach you, and I am very certain there are some who are, you have such a high and thick wall around you, you instantly "call BS". Of course this will annoy and drive even jerkish loser men away, to say nothing of good men, who know they have other options.

Sometimes, you just have to take a chance on a happy ending. Sure you risk ending up with a loser, but without opening up, you'll probably end up dying alone.

Mai

i like what Mr. X has said. Considering your age and virginity (which is not a bad thin at all! you go girl!) , it seems like youve always had a wall up of some kind. Its hard to tell whats bullshit is if youve never been taken the time to find out what bullshit truly is. Nd sometimes tha biggest biggest bullshitters are the most believable. so get to know guys.Theres no need to "call em out" on their shit. they can tell after a while of getting to know u whether your weak enough to let em in or not. But its great how you respect yourself nd dont want to b taken advantage of. Just maaybe be a little more friendly lol:) Trust me, if u r who u are (without laying laws out on the table wen u first meet a guy), theyre the ones who will decide whether yur their type or not.

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Every girl and her cousin has been complimented, called "wife material", even "rated" highly at some point. Don't mean every one of us are VS models, hun. Maybe you give off an air that you're too good for everyone--that'd be my guess.

Of course, when you're in your early 20's, most guys your age aren't trying to settle down. A lot of them just want to hit it and quit it. Sucks, but it's something me and every single one of my friends has had to learn/deal with.

SomeEverydayNobody

Let me just say you're probably more likely to drive off good guys by calling them out on their BS [as you see it] then the jerks. Jerks who are looking for a hit and run know it and don't really care if you're on to them, they'll just switch tactics.

A guy who's genuine and feels like you're calling him out on some BS is gonna walk cuz he probably isn't giving you any BS and doesn't appreciate being labelled some kind of jerk.

My advice would be to humble yourself a little. You say you've been called wife material? What does that even mean? Every woman is wife material to some guy out there, whether she's the hottest girl he's ever seen or not.

Try befriending more guys. Sounds to me like you're bar hopping or something hoping to find that special someone. Well it can happen thats not your best bet. Get to know guys as friends and push it closer if you're interested, cuz that will wule out all that BS you seem to be good at catching. Go to school? Got a job? Have friends who know guys? believe me, us men are everywhere just start talking and remember you're no better then any other woman out there.

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