No, you're not being unreasonable. If he has a person who he's still got feelings for and its impeding your relationship then you have to do what you have to do for your own sanity.
But you do need to be prepared for your relationship to end. Let's say he is still stuck on his ex after all this time. Well, that's some sort of closure he needs from her. Maybe he'll get it from her and maybe he won't. Maybe his ex will want to give them a try and maybe he will too. The point is you don't know what will happen.
But look, happiness is what you make it. If he's told you that he's over her and you won't let it go than some of that is on you. Granted, you said something has happened recently to bring it to a head.
It's hard to be with somebody when you are convinced they still want somebody else. You just end up cheating yourself and that other person out of being happy because you can't - understandly - let that feeling go.
So you need to do what you need to do to be happy.
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