He's your partner but not your boyfriend? So that makes him what, your husband/long-term partner or a(n) FWB?
Not that the distinction is terribly important. Talking to someone about a problem is always the best first step. He deserves to know that you are unhappy with your sexual life right now, and you have every right to voice that. Obviously you will want to do it in a way that's tactful and not demeaning to him, or you won't get very far. Maybe there's a reason he's been poor in bed lately: is he stressed? Depressed? Feeling unattractive to you? You won't know until you talk about it with him, and he can't improve until he knows you are not satisfied.
Speaking of dissatisfaction, how long have you been having sex with this man without an orgasm? That's unacceptable--more service than sex. What's the point? Does he know you're not getting off? He needs to know that, and he needs to take steps to change it.
If you've already discussed your sex problems and nothing has changed, then you have a bigger relationship issue--he's either incapable or unwilling to satisfy you in bed. That's when you have to decide if it's worth trying to work out or if it's time to hit the road. That's also when the difference between a husband/long-term mate and an FWB becomes more relevant.
You can walk away from a FWB much more easily than you can a husband or long-term partner. One is a more complicated relationship than the other, and deserves more effort on your part to work it out. One will also be a more painful split than the other.
Either way, having a conversation or three is the best first step. If nothing changes after that, then no one could blame you for dumping the guy no matter what the relationship.
Ugh... I hate that conversation... had it many times and still nothing, though he says things will change, in the end they never do and I do everything or nothing gets done!
I would stop having sex with him, you arent in a relationship and apparently all he cares about is HIS orgasm.....jerk
actually we're engaged and that makes it even worse... Sex has gone so downhill lately. Everything about him but the bedroom is great, but damn... going to sit down and have a nice serious chat tonight in fact, and this will be the last one! I made up my mind. If we can't compromise now there's no need to ever get married much less live together any longer
SELFFISH lovers, where would we be without them?
Some place better & not wasting our time! I had a FWB (not sure where the real benefits came in) that was just like that. Stopped talking to him since all he wanted was the only things that made his ego boost. Finally realized that I deserved better, and was horribly wasting my time on this dude. If he's no one important to you and you're just boning, leave him because he's only wanting things for himself and he trully doesn't care about you, or anything to do with you.
He's my ex and we've neen having sex for a year since we broke up. Even if without orgasm the sex was still good, but now that he has no emotional attachment he doesn't put any effort in at all, it even hurts sometimes. Nothing has ever gotten fixed because I didn't say anything, he's my friend and I don't want to injure his ego. And we don't have sex that often, we never know when we're going to do it again so why bother saying anything? He does mean a lot to me, but not so much the other way around....
Being used, much? This sounds like you're just a warm body and a willing vagina. What ARE you getting out of the relationship? If you're really seeing each other, than you're probably not getting the emotional or mental support of a real relationship, so I'm assuming the only real part of your relationship to each other is sex? And if it's not good for you, why stay?