Yes, they get very paranoid. That's a LOT of pressure. Imagine if you gave someone their first slice of pizza and it wasn't very good or took them to their first movie and it was crap. Same thing except in this case the guy is the pizza maker and film producer. The potential for disaster is HUGE.
Also, as I pointed out here, If a guy say's that he is not looking to be in a relationship and then start's dating another girl.....what does that mean?, most guys hate seeing a girl cry. The process of de-flowering can be awfully painful and can include a fair amount of blood and tears. Ouch!
My advice, at the least, the girl should go on a horseback riding expedition before the big day. There is a good chance this will remove the physical barriers and all that will be left is the potential for emotional scarring.
Love the tag.
It's best when deflowering a guy at the same time. I was a virgin and the guy I was seeing was a virgin. That way, both suck equally so there isn't blame.
what a douche bag answer!
You may want to elaborate on that. Without an explanation, this just sounds like a douchebag response to the answer.
Ok, is there a drinking game going on which rule is that each time Mystery Man answer a question, the first one to use the word "douchebag" in the comment is the only one who doesn't drink?
This is a direct answer (with an interesting comparison at the beginning).
So, unless "douchebag" is the new fancy word cool kids use to describe something relevant and staight-forward these days, I really don't get it...
what? you can't possibly disagree, wolverina.
Wow. That's not good news for me. :( I'm 19-years-old and still a virgin. I decided that I didn't want to sleep with someone unless I was in a relationship with them. And well... I've never had a boyfriend. So, hopefully I'll eventually find a guy to date who won't care that it'll be my first time.
I find the whole thing kind of silly, because we are all virgins at some point...
U THINK
me too! I lost mine at 19 to my first real boyfriend. No regrets though. I wouldn't of dated him if he wasn't a nice guy. Plus, I waited a while after till we did it. (I think it was 6 months?)
I think the metaphor in the beginning is a very appropriate. Also, not every first time is painful (emotionally and or physically). It can be a good experience, mine was. And he wasn't a virgin.
my first time was both extremely boring and not painful at all, and yeah i did a fair amount of horseback riding... it also helped the guy was a little below average in the size department. But it took about three hours and most of the time it wasn't even actually in lol that's an experience I am glad one only goes through once in their lifetime...
The horseback riding thing is a myth, yo. Unless you're riding Western and hit an unfortunate bump and the horn goes... ugh... never mind. ::shudder::
I agree with Megan. Best bet, if you can, is to find a fellow novice. The first time pretty much always sucks due to pain and inexperience, but practice makes perfect. Somehow doing it with another virgin makes you both want to just keep trying till you get it right. :)
my sister broke her hymen when she was 9 due to a bad bounce on a trampoline and an unfortunate landing on the bar... I actually tore mine when i was twleve in riding my bike down a rocky path... really depends on what kind of hymen you have, but definitly not a myth.
I think this was a good answer.
First time having sex is always going to be awkward and uncoordinated, especially if you're having sex with someone you care about. They'll want to make sure it's memorable, in a good way, and so the pressure is on. Stress to impress.
"There is a good chance this will remove the physical barriers and all that will be left is the potential for emotional scarring." Loved that line though!
Did you really compare a girl loosing her virginity to the first slice of pizza?? LOL thats classic.I have to remember this for the next time I have that convo!
I've never been with a virgin myself, but I think I'd be pretty anxious if a girl I was dating admitted she was one. Losing your virginity is a really big deal for most people, and I'd feel I had little to reciprocate, in comparison. In the unlikely event we'd somehow gotten serious without having had sex already, I'd do it, but otherwise I'd be straight up; there's got to be better men than me around.
I think the fact that you would be worried about her and think there must be a better man than you makes you a better man.
My first time was with a virgin, but I had broken her hymen while fooling around a while before then. I will still very paranoid, worrying about how well I'd perform, whether I could please her, etc. It wasn't painful, but neither of us knew what we were doing so it probably would have been pretty painful to watch (except for the fact that it was over in less than a minute)... Now that we've gotten better at it we can look back on that first time and laugh.
Being a 26-year old virgin (and I am not ashamed, thank you), there is a constant fear that guys will run the other direction when they hear that. At the age I am now, I am no longer feeling that it's some big deal. Maybe when I was in my earlier 20s, but definitely not now. I don't even know if I am completely one in the technical sense, since my doctor made no mention of a hymen at the office all those years past. Anyway, I hope a guy would be man enough to deal with the situation, because how else are you supposed to lose it if they run away?
i love this. its soooo true. i mean i'm a virgin n i was tlkin 2 this guy n he was rly turned on n he knows im a virgin n i tld him i wanted him b my first n he got rly turned off then.
once again you reveal how incredibly insecure you men all are - or should I say "boys"? you're not going to "wreck" a woman if it sucks for her - how's she really going to know? and even if it does suck - it's about sharing the experience with you. and you men say we women overanalyze everything... sheesh.
lol made me think of my boyfriend. He's a virgin, I'm not, and he's terrified to have his first time. Terrified as in nervous that he won't perform to my "standards" (which he perceives to be rather high, when they're pretty average). I keep trying to reassure him that he'll be fine, he's still scared.
I find that quite adorable, and him being a virgin rather sexy in a way. And the fact that *I* get to "deflower" him just makes it all the better.
I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive articles on this site. Keep up the great work.
guys are made to have sex. Guys are not made to be virgin. Only women are made virgins. Gay guys are not virgins, too. I believe personally that guys are into relationship. Why the divorce? Why the guys covet others? Because gay relationship or heterosexual relationship are not always happy. Sex is just for fun and only an adventure. Men are made to be unfaithful. Women are made unfaithful by men. Men are unfaithful by nature. Gays are unfaithful made by men, too. I have had never had a boyfriend since in my youth. I am pretty rare in the world. I wish a ET boyfriend.