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Do guys like girls who are bitchy and mean?

Not necessarily. But I'll throw the question back at you: do you fall for jerky, d-bag guys and then hate yourself in the morning? I wouldn't say guys strictly like "mean girls." But are we occasionally attracted to someone who won't give us the time of day? Sure. Guys like a challenge, and just like how you think you can change the a-hole dude, we think we'll be the one to melt her cold, icy heart.  

But I wouldn't say that men like "bitchy" women. I would say men like assertive women who speak their mind, and give back as good as they get. (I also find it unfair that society often labels strong-willed, tough women as "bitches," but that's a whole other topic.) Still, I do think guys sometimes fall for "mean girls," whether they want to or not.  

I'll give you a for example. When I was a wee lad, I had a nanny whom I adored. She was blonde, curvy, in her twenties, probably Midwestern. For years she was the absurd standard to which I held all women. Recently, I brought her up to my mom. "I wonder what happened to [name withheld]," I mused. "Oh, you mean the nanny I fired for putting you in the closet when you misbehaved?," my mom replied. Suddenly it all made sense: No wonder I had fallen hard over the years for cold, often emotionally distant women. No wonder I had a thing for, yes, "mean girls." It was all because of my borderline abusive childhood nanny. Think of the therapy bills I've saved myself!

So, yeah, some of us are attracted to "mean girls," just as some women are drawn to jerks like moths to an Ed Hardy-wearing douche flame. For the record, I've dated plenty of "nice girls," and also women who are sweet, wonderful people but are also occasionally mean just like everyone else on the planet. And of course no one wants to be with someone who is straight up cruel and heartless. But I think men do like strong women who are in touch with their "inner bitch." It keeps things interesting.
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17 Comments

Mannon

Yes and no. As Nick said, there's something especially magnetic about a woman who's assertive and speaks her mind; people like that always draw attention, men and women alike, because they tend to stand out amongst the crowd.
However, girls with with personality defects that manifest in treating other people like shit? That's just downright ugly. Nobody wants to be left apologising for their partner's behaviour all the time, it doesn't matter how crazy the monkey sex is.

Nick Nadel

Agreed. No one wants to be with someone who is downright mean and spiteful. It makes us look bad, and the best partners always make each other look good.

Megan

But crazy monkey sex is awesome! The best part of any relationship!

Mannon

Oh, no question. You don't have to be with a terrible person to get it, though.

GrapeJellyGirl

Just smiling here and thinking how true...we all want to be the miracle worker that makes him or her putty in our hands....lol

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I have found, that being nice equals weakness. The minute a guy finds out your vulnerable is the minute he loses interest. You don't have to be Cruella Deville, but its perfectly alright to be assertive. Make them work.

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Wrong

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People ARE vulnerable. People who admit it, to me, are actually the strong ones because they are not afraid to admit it. Being nice doesn't always make one a weakling. It's about balance. People try too hard to be hard these days. To me, it's quite obvious, but most are oblivious.

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aiight busta rhymes...lol

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What a lovely day for a 3120032! SCK was here

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What a lovely day for a 1437900! SCK was here

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As a woman you just have to know when to be nice. I love being nice to my boyfriend. but when im nice for to long he starts treating me badly. as soon as i get mean and rude again he is back on my leash. ... its not the healthiest relationship but i figured out that sometimes i just have to be a bitch. say no when he asks for a kiss sometimes. ... push him away when he wants to cuddle. it will pay off because he will be all over you.... im trying to find a better balance for this relationship.

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What a lovely day for a 3715186! SCK was here

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I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this site. Keep up the wonderful work.

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Good Stuff Thank you for the information

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I recently dated a guy for 3 years we agrued all the time. He wasn't a di*k he just didn't want to commit. His excuse we agrue too much. Which is a load of bull*** we would not be arguing from the beginng if I felt he treated me like his gf and not like a friend. He does nothing...and the realtionship gets worse. He was buying me gifts and talking to me he was all over me. The minute I said let's officially stop argueing and we was sweet talking each other POOF! He's gone. Not answering my calls and his response I don't wanna make you cry. That's all I got from it! I have the impression either A) He was two timing me ( I have that luck for some reason. Which is why I have trust issues overall.) B) He rather me be mean to him all the time. After this relationship my self esteem went to an all time low, I am working on it. I am not ugly , I just feel like I can't trust anyone.

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I like nice girls, cuz they are easy to talk to. I'm also attracted to girls that are tall. I lOve sexy legs. And I quiet girl that gets loud sometimes. Especially when I get to open her up. The best... I like a smart girl too. Here's my list:
Smart
Funny
Quiet sometimes
Independent
Confident
Style
Witty
Let's me take care of her
Has a sexy side and a sophisticated side

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