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Do guys REALLY believe in love at first sight? Or is it just a bunch of crap?

Here's a better question: does anyone believe in love at first sight? I, for one, do not. But I do believe in lust at first sight, as well as like at first sight. Everyone has experienced that feeling at one point or another; the feeling of instant attraction or connection. But that isn't love. Not in my experience anyway.

People often say, "I knew we'd be together forever from the moment we met." Usually those people are in commercials for eHarmony or Match.com, posing against a white background while some old R&B song serenades them. (Why is it always a white background? Why not put them in a field of flowers, or anything that doesn't bring to mind what people see after a near-death experience?)

This sort of thinking, that you fell in love the moment you laid eyes on the person, is what I like to call revisionist history. The person thinks back to the first time they met their boyfriend/wife/girlfriend/husband, and all they can remember is instantly falling head over heels in love. Therefore, they must have felt that way from the moment their beloved crossed their field of vision. In actuality, "I am in love with this person" is probably not the first thing that crossed their mind. (If it is, they are either 13 or clinically insane.) Their first thought upon seeing the future love of their life was probably more along the lines of, "Wow, he/she is really cute and/or f-ing hot. I sure hope I don't have mustard on my shirt. Do I have coffee breath? Crap! Is that my phone buzzing?? Not now, Mom! Not now!!!"

That said, I am enough of a romantic to believe that instant attraction and sparks do occur. I've certainly felt it. There is nothing better than the feeling of meeting someone, and instantly having a goosebumps-but-in-your-stomach connection. (Oh man, now I sound like one of those ads...) But are you in love? Hell to N-O. Love has to be earned. Love takes time. Love isn't something that can just...

Oh, hello, turkey sandwich. I didn't see you there, all well dressed with nice provolone cheese, lettuce, heirloom tomato, and cucumbers on hearty French country bread. I must say, and I don't usually say this to anyone, but I think this is love at first sight.
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11 Comments

Daisy

Great answer! I agree, love takes time.

The "delicious sandwiches" tag made me giggle.

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i believe in the spark at first sight, but forget about love at first its absolutely a crap.

Megan

Only with food. I fall in love with tirimisu every time it's put in front of me.

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I knew the moment I first saw my husband thatI would marry him. I even went back up to my office and told my co-workers. They all laughed. I knew he was the one before I even spoke to him. I'm not saying I loved him before I spoke to him but I knew without a shadow of a doubt that he was the one for me. Needless to say we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary last Sunday. Been together for 7 years now and going strong

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I am still trying to figure out what is love at first sight. Is it the chemistry or just the moment of fantasy? Hmmm!

Ellen

Good answer. Love is a heckuva lot of work. It's worth it to remember that not believing in love at first sight does not mean not believing in love.

Gordon

With guys, it more often is lust at first sight. The love comes when the sex and other intimacies turn out to be great.

Kaci

I agree that love at first sight is a ridiculous notion. In fact, I met my current boyfriend online, and when I finally saw him in person, I wasn't even strongly attracted to him, let alone in love with him. I wouldn't even say we had a spark. Yet I knew that we had an intellectual connection, so I gave it a chance. And now, nearly two years after that initial meeting, I'm extremely attracted to him physically and emotionally, and if I wasn't so nihilistic [or something else as equally depressing for onlookers of my life] then I would say it's grown into love. And though, I suppose it's different for every person, I still hold strong to my convictions that there's something wrong with people who believe in love at first sight... My attachment issues bell dings every time I hear the phrase.

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Love at first sight is a myth. "I want to bang you at first sight" however....now that, my friends is the real deal.

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