WOW, it's raining labia questions on GuySpeak. This is the first one I got. A few hours later I snatched another one. Rather than ignoring what is clearly a sign from god and the vagina angels dancing in heaven, I will answer both and back to back no less; enveloping you readers with labia questions. Remember, some guys care about everything when it comes to a woman's physical traits and others see the big picture. "There's a naked woman in my life who actually seems to enjoy having sex with me. She also cooks with me and accompanies me to my parents house. I am happy."

But, for those that are more critical -- yes, the labia gets scrutiny, just as the nipple, eyebrows or as$hole might. The going desired color for labia is, in fact, pink. Why, Funny Guy? Well, I'm not here to perpetuate the ideal so much as clarify if one exists. If you look at porn (geared toward men), listen to porn, read erotica or scroll through Craigslist Causal Encounters a few hours a day, you will see that pink is considered hot. This is for two reasons.

Reason One: pink reads as young, virginal and fresh. Many women's labes darken as they get older. The idea that a woman has pink labia is meant to be a bonus. Like "Oh, man my girl is fresh out of the box and waiting for me." It's of course silly, but if you think of men as consumers and your labia as a product, that's what sells.

Reason Two: from a visual standpoint, pink contrasts with the skin around you. Whether you are white, tan or black, pink stands out against your other flesh and creates an aesthetically appealing distinction.

Now, put these things together and you have your answer. If you don't believe me, go out and test it. Listen to women in porn trying to entice men. They never say, "my wet brown labia are ready for your manhood." They say something like "I'm all wet and pink and ready for you."

Now, I know many of you are reading this right now on your office computer or on your laptop while slurping up some cereal and thinking, "Screw you men, screw you Funny Guy, my labia are pretty damn dark - brown, purple, beige - and my man couldn't be happier."

To that I say, great. Don't let Jenna Vagina on porno dot com dictate what's hot. Besides, your man's prick probably isn't winning any best in show pageants this year either. What's more with just the right candle lighting and early Brittney Spears playing in the background we all have pink labia.

As for me, I prefer my labia rainbow swirled.