The human body is a truly remarkable instrument. It can regulate your breathing while you sleep, encode and store a seemingly limitless amount of information, even reproduce itself from nothing but two cells, food, and the blood of a young woman (babies=parasites).
Yet no man on this earth can guarantee with any certainty that when he zips up after a trip to the urinal, a few drops of liquid waste aren't going to slither down his pants leg and splatter against his thigh like hot balls of hate.
You'd think we would take this as a hint that we should wipe our penises off after urination. We do not.
Why not? Because if you wiped the tip of your penis off with tissue paper at a urinal, every man in a half-mile radius would have no choice but to come to your location and pummel the sense out of you. It just feels wrong, like eating a candy bar with a knife and fork. You can't blame us for not doing it; no more than we can blame you for the mood swings you may experience before ovulation (and in all history, no man has ever done that).
I'd also bet that the one or two drops of urine that may escape us now and then are no more unsanitary that the faucets, doorhandles and soap dispensers we handle getting in and out of the hellhole that is a public restroom. So cut us some slack, or else stop looking at us all weird when we stick our manhood under the hand-dryers.
My boyfriend uses TP to wipe the residue as well as wipe any excess on the rip of the toilet !!!!! He's a keeper !
*snicker* Sticking your manhood under the hand drier? OMG whatelse do you do that we don't know of? I must say this is the first time I ever heard of men using the driers for their manparts XD
And I totally agree babies= parasites, they steal all the food from the lady who holds them for 9 months, makes them sick to the point holding food down is a challenge, then they are born and demand bottom changes, food and other attention for all the years later, then at some point or other they are convinced YOUR Satan and going to make their lives hell so they avoid you, then even when they are old enough to leave they won't until you kick them in the ass and then they get to become a parent and suddenly want to say sorry for their behaviors... total parasite behaviours yep, sadly this is what all of us did XD
This was freaking hilarious!
Thank you for explaining this, Mr. Swaim. I never could figure that one out myself.
I was JUST wondering about this yesterday....omfg!! I always wonder if when people ummm give a blow job....does it taste like pee?
Cuzz everyones all disgusted with drinking pee (me, especially) and I was pretty convinced that anyone that has ever given a blow job has tasted a fair amount of pee. Am I crazy?
I mean really if guys don't wipe, then it must be pee flavored, right?
And if a girl wipes with TP, does it taste like toilet paper?
LOL So interesting, And what does pee taste like? Is it salty, perhaps?
Hilarious. I love it! My ex wiped, but then again, he liked to be dry and was a germaphobe!
Of course guys usually have piss stains. That's why we have double layer on the front of our underpants. When I wear white boxerbriefs they turn yellow a bit by the end of the day. I always tend to rush it and put my dick back too soon. I don't shake the drops. My mates also just put it back without shaking. Nobody wipes it. Does this mean that we are gross?
i find it disgusting. its not "girly" to wipe as a guy. im not a pervert, but i've wondered the same thing about the blowjob thing.
Actually, urine is a sterile fluid. There should be no bacteria in the urine itself. Any bacteria will come from the urethra as the urine flows threw. So it would not be any more or less unsanitary to wipe your penis. It might be a little more comfortable. But please wipe the other side which is not sterile at all. Thank you.
Thank you for writing this response--I was going to give the same explanation! :D
Hahaha ME TOO. Yay for knowing too much about urine lol.
Haha I have never wiped my penis after peeing. Sometimes I shake it 2 times. My schoolmates used to bully even those who shake so I usually don't shake in school. I don't care because in the locker room my mates still have much more piss stains on their underpants than me.
Urinal rules: guys never wipe and don't shake it more than twice otherwise it counts as a wank. We just get used to some stains on the underpants.
I also like pissing fast just like many guys. I used to zip back in the same second when the piss stream stops. I don't even care if the end of piss sprays all over my underpants. I stopped shaking when I was about 10 because my schoolm8s also didn't shake. I had a roommate in high school who was the same, he often came from the toilet with piss spurts on his boxers. We should be cleaner but I'm too impatient and I also don't want to be odd. My friends say more than 2 shakes are a wank...
None of my friends wipe. Three shakes are allowed, more count as a wank. Some drops in your underpants won't hurt you. I wiped when I was a little kid but I stopped it in school. Boys have to get used to a wet spot. I had a schoolmate who used to wipe his penis even when he was 12 so he went to the stall. Later in a summer camp we took fast circle pees in the forest and he joined us. After that he just put it away without even a shake.
What if they want to copulate right after they pee?
How does that affect us?
I use to peek in the bathroom and watch my dad and brothers standing at the toilet,taking their penises out and peeing.When they finished they would shake their penises up and down about ten times.
When my brothers and I were younger my mom would always wipe our penis, she never allowed us just to shake our penis, she wiped us until we graduated from high school.
EWwwwww, you guys are rediculous, i mean like who cares, a blow job wouldnt taste like peee, and why would you bring that up???? Were you planning to give someone a blow job or what, wanna give someone a littttttttle suck of it??? huuh, huh, huh? WEll, you guys are wierd, its just normal for boyz to not wipe their penises and shake them. Then comment on thye other persons, so get over it!!! You guys are soooooooooo effing paranoid!!!! And i'm eleven!!!! jk im 22! but watev! Stop, with the lamelesssssnessss! X
Who the ## wipes his willy after taking a piss? It's so girlish. Some quick shakes (if I even shake) and I throw it back in my boxers. It doesn't matter if the underpants get a bit wet. I've always had some dribbles where my penis goes. Chill stains are the part of being a guy.
im actually a GAY guy and Im proud to wipe it or at least wait for all the drips to stop - anyone that doesnt is disgusting and then urine stinks and its disgusting, especially if your uncut...it will just create bacteria and trust me, your penis will STINK!!!!!!!!
Hi Jason, I think that's why some guys don't shake, they don't want to look gay. It's a tough guy attitude which is usual in my college. If you wait more than a second and don't zip up immediately when the piss stops, you will get stupid comments from my friends. It's even worse when we play basketball because there are only two urinals in the restroom and we have to wait, so they often hurry each other: "there's no time to shake", "don't play with your dick ladies" etc. Well maybe it's disgusting... My roommate always has piss stains on his boxers and I don't think he ever had a problem with it.
get a life squeeze it teeze it stroke it whatever do what ever works for you. but if your girl gives you shit bring one of her friends over pull her pants down and let your girl get a real good look at what your eating. problem solved
BS. I wipe every time unless I'm out in the f#&kin woods or something. Obviously standing at the urinal is a bit different 'cause there's no paper there, but there should be. I'm not the only one, either. A lot of guys do use a bit of toilet paper after.
NOBODY EVER SHOULD WIPE UNLESS CRAPPING..GUYS AND GIRLS
hahahaha NO guys do not wipe there penisis with tissue... unless they skeet
I think that all guys should just zip up without shaking even twice and let their boxers or briefs absorb the last few drops. Shaking is so old fashioned and odd. I'm 16 and none of my schoolmates shake at all. It's a saying that wiping is gay but it's not true, I know some gays in our school and they also don't even shake just zip up fast. It seems to me that most of us like the damp stain touching our dicks.
During oral sex, in my experience, ALL men taste of pee. So I make my partner clean before we do it. Its a passion killer to get him to go and clean, but so is the taste of urine!! he should learn to be more hygienic if he doesn't like it...
Also, urine is NOT sterile once it leaves the body- it's only sterile inside the body. And after a few hours, it causes many germs. There are more germs on a man's crotch than on the toilet seat!
I'm a ladyboy and i wipe my penis with another penis and it feels darn good!
attention: urine is not sterile the moment it comes out of body. -nursing student-
Immy bf shakes it 2 times. Nd I make him clean before we do it. Well we dnt really do it anymore cuz I got pregnant. Nd I was only 14.
I use TP on my penis after I go pee because I am uncircumcised. The foreskin keeps some pee after I urinate, so I want to get rid of it. Doing this takes away that weird feeling of being wet down there afterwards
Hi
Like this when ever going to the bathroom, it difines a gentleman by washing his hands throughly with soap.
There for it is a good idea to wipe/dab your penis's with toilet paper. Especially if you are uncircumsised, pull back your foreskin, empty yourself, take the TP wipe the head focusing mainly on the tip, retract your foreskin, do up your pants and then flush.Flush last as you might not want to touch your penis after knowing what lurks on the flushing lever. Procede and wash your hands for 20seconds.
Also it is a sign of respect for your sexual partner/wife/GF, If she wants to orally pleasure you. Knowing that your penis is free from urine or foreskin gue.
In a rushed world a shake at the urinal is like "fast food". Fills the gap but does not provide well balanced nutrition.
If time does not permit to follow cleaning procedures, try shower when you get home.
This does not define your sexuality either.
Around grade 5 I actually started wiping because my penis used to get red inflamed and stung when I urinated. My parents recommended washing it better and wiping and it worked great! I no longer have this problem and only wipe when I'm at home, but I still give it a good shake when I'm out in public.
I just stroke it realy hard a few times to squeeze the urine out never wipe
It seems to me that guys have really different methods. I always wipe, because I can't stand the wetness. My mates know that I use the stall because of this but they never bully me. I dont know any other guys who wipe. My 16 yrs old younger brother is the opposite of me. He pisses so damn fast that his briefs are always full of stains on the front. My parents tried to make him at least shake it a bit when he was a little kid but it's hopeless. He also don't understand why can't I stand the last drops in my undies. My friends mostly shake twice although they admit it's not enough to prevent the stains.
What is it with this "If you shake more than twice, you're playing with it..." This is a joke and it's not to be taken seriously.
This is a matter of hygiene. Do you really want to walk around with wet dribbles of piss in your underwear all day?
At school, at the urinal, after I'm done peeing I will gently squeeze my dick from the base to the tip (on the underside of my penis) to try to get all the urine out of the urethra. I usually get about 10-15 drops out doing this. Then I will shake my dick about 10 times. I usually get another 5 drops out. Then I put it back in my underwear.
At home I will do the same. But on occasion, I've used a little toilet paper to wipe the tip of my dick. Even after the squeezing and shaking, I still get the last few drops with the toilet paper.
I am not gay, and I don't see an issue with shaking it multiple times. Or, with a guy using toilet paper on his penis. It's about cleanliness.
My girlfriend has seen me do this and she has never made a comment that it is "un-manly" to wipe a penis. I think most girls will agree, they would prefer it to be clean...
I can only imagine how much pee dribbles into your underwear if you don't shake at all. Multiply that by how many times you piss in a day. That's a lot of piss in your underwear! That's very nasty. I'm sure your crotch smells like piss. And I'm pretty sure any girl would think it's nasty too.
Also guys, Wash Your Hands after your done!
What is it with this "If you shake more than twice, you're playing with it..." This is a joke and it's not to be taken seriously.
This is a matter of hygiene. Do you really want to walk around with wet dribbles of piss in your underwear all day?
At school, at the urinal, after I'm done peeing I will gently squeeze my dick from the base to the tip (on the underside of my penis) to try to get all the urine out of the urethra. I usually get about 10-15 drops out doing this. Then I will shake my dick about 10 times. I usually get another 5 drops out. Then I put it back in my underwear.
At home I will do the same. But on occasion, I've used a little toilet paper to wipe the tip of my dick. Even after the squeezing and shaking, I still get the last few drops with the toilet paper.
I am not gay, and I don't see an issue with shaking it multiple times. Or, with a guy using toilet paper on his penis. It's about cleanliness.
My girlfriend has seen me do this and she has never made a comment that it is "un-manly" to wipe a penis. I think most girls will agree, they would prefer it to be clean...
I can only imagine how much pee dribbles into your underwear if you don't shake at all. Multiply that by how many times you piss in a day. That's a lot of piss in your underwear! That's very nasty. I'm sure your crotch smells like piss. And I'm pretty sure any girl would think it's nasty too.
Also guys, Wash Your Hands after your done!
I like Thomas's attitude^
I always wipe with TP; actually it's more of a dab. I shake a couple of times then take a sheet or two and dab till there's no more pee. I can't stand the feeling of having dripples of pee in my underwear. I don't know how
other men can tolerate it. If I'm at a urinal I shake as much as possible then try and get the rest on my palm. It's not very effective but better than nothing. And yes, I wash my hands like a surgeon afterwards.
I personally wipe most of the time, and I agree with you that guys shouldn't have piss in their underpants. But don't forget about the peer pressure I mentioned above. If your mates don't bully you for shaking it (more than twice), you are fortunate. When I was a teen I could shake it a lot, and my friends never commented it. Now I can't take a piss with my sport mates because they think that putting it back without a single shake is a norm for all lads. I asked my roommate and he admitted that he disliked the wet spots and they often bug him, but he just don't want to be different. The last time he shook the last drops was in elementary school! He spent 15 years with uncomfortable wet spurts touching his penis all day just because he thinks that all guys have to stand this. He said that his classmates had teased him until he finally stopped shaking and practically zipped up before finish pissing just like them. I would never do this just for an idiot urinal rule!
I have an old saying: " No matter how many times you shake it after taking a piss, the last drop is always for your pants."
what a disgusting habit that men have formed with just chatting amongst themselves maybe we should stop them from talking to eachother too so they will stop acting retarded and unsanitary. and stop conforming to peep pressure so easily.. you are more of a man if you can put up with it. it is just sanitary.