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DO I HAVE TO GO DOWN ON HER IF SHE GOES DOWN ON ME?

What are you, a doucheknuckle? Of course you go down on her if she goes down on you. You go down on her even if she doesn't go down on you. And you go back for seconds. Once upon a time, I was a virgin too, so I'll forgive you your stupid question. But believe me, I know what I'm talking about, ask your mom.

Sex is a lot like Christmas -- minus the tinsel, eggnog, and jolly pagan troll. It's about giving, not receiving. And that's not an altruistic statement -- people are just more willing to give to those who give them something back. You should be singularly obsessed with getting your woman off, Be soft, be gentle, and be attentive. Ask the internet for the definition of a "clitoris." Locate it. Do not be afraid of her lady flower. Slowly and strongly, spell out the name of your favorite football team with your tongue on her lil' bean. Make her happy, and she'll return the favor. I can't possibly dumb this down any more.

If you even think about writing a retort about how "gross" eating a woman out is, I will hunt you down, space predator-style. Remember: giving a woman sweat-inducing, eyeball-bouncing orgasms is our primary genetic directive.

Trust me, bro. Man up and go down.

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42 Comments

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Here here sir. There are a certain number of things every man should be able to do, and that list includes changing your oil, changing a flat tire on the side of the road, folding a map, and satisfying your woman in any way possible. Fail to do any of these things in front of a woman, and you can forget about getting laid that night!

Cary McNeal

"What are you, a doucheknuckle?" Word.

Survey says.. yes.

Great answer. I laughed.

jlhpisces

great answer! Now I want to date a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan!

user-pic

hahaaa YES, the longest one ever hahaa

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I'm going for a San Francisco Forty-Niners fan. =)

Kilybra

I'm going for a San Francisco Forty-Niners fan. =)

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Here! Here!

Best answer possible for that question.

I'm laughing, but I'm a woman, so I'm totally stoked that someone set this kid straight.

Bev

Bravo! I think I climaxed just reading this answer. This Q&A should be printed on a pamphlet and distributed by the government to all boys at the age of 17.

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AMEN!

meiggs

I think it was all downhill from the caps lock. Great answer, especially the football team tip. Better than the ABC's (yeah, I know what you're doing down there....)

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THANK YOU!

VKnoxville

Yowsa, I think I'd like to meet John DeVore

I love guyspeak.com

You are soooooo the best! Are you kidding me. I don't shave, use extra soup and worry about my hygiene all day for nothing.

harley

hahahhahahaha doucheknuckle, i love that!
officially part of my word book now
doucheknuckle....

Megan

Seriously, a little oral goes a long way. A lot of oral will take your across the milky way. Thank you sir, thank you. Also, find him and slap him upside the head for me please.

Laje Kahr

What's this "have to" crap? Going down is fun. Stop being silly Mr. Question Asker.

user-pic

i wish i had words...bless you sir.
bless you sir for you wisdom that was so eloquently worded.
i appreciate your knowledge as much as i possibly virtually could.
KUDOS!!

user-pic

you are so funny!

user-pic

OMG i'm in love with you! what is happening with men these days? seems like no one likes lo go down on a girl anymore... and it's really hard for me to come if they don't go down on me before everything

user-pic

ALL is forgiven. Dude, you ROCK. Seriously. Well thought, well said, and VERY well done.

user-pic

You are my hero!! I've been telling oral-giving-phobic guys this for YEARS!!!

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Wow....I'm thinking I'm dating this guy....lol ...Luisa, you're so right, I'm with a guy now for just over a year and he won't....but expects a bj every time we're together! You're probably thinking "dump his @$$"...but I can't justify dumping a good man just because of the bedroom issue.....I am reaching a point of possibly changing my mind now...

p.s., he's 28, not 17, and I'm clean, and sweet....past bf's enjoyed it. Unlucky me this time around :(

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A "good man" who puts his own pleasure above yours, cares nothing for your happiness, and asks more from you than he's willing to do himself?
Oh yeah- he's a keeper.

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This is totally a legit reason to dump a "good man."

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I love my boyfriend and Im soo attracted to him. we have great sex. He is very attracted to me....his friends are all jealous and say im both hot and a good girl. He shows me off and i know he is very attracted to me. But he says he dosnt like going down town on females....in an open discussion at a party recently he said it again. I mean its not necessary for me because i easily orgasm with sex. But we have been dating for 3 years....shouldnt he be interested by now? I am! but i want him to be or it will be akward...but he still makes comments that its gross and we laugh about it. i dont want him to feel weird because our sex is amazing.

Anthiea

if u give him oral then cut him off and say none for me then none for you.

Anthiea

no oral for me then none for him =P!!!!!

user-pic

Weell, answer me this, what do you do when a guy doesn't return the favor? How do you get him to do it?

user-pic

I had this problem also....i just stopped going down on him until he did me first. after awhile he was never to "tired" after his own orgasm to go down on me.

hmmm...

John DeVore - you rock! you're better than sliced bread, and if you were single, i might have to seek you out ;0)
this is quite possibly the BEST answer, ever!

hmmm...

John DeVore - you rock! you're better than sliced bread, and if you were single, i might have to seek you out ;0)
this is quite possibly the BEST answer, ever!

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My nipples just became very sensitive in the cold California air!!!! I didn't quite climax, but that response has me nice and ready!!!!! THANK YOU JOHN!!!!!

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I love your attitude, brilliant. Bring it on boys!!!

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Bless you. Do you do seminars?

aspiringgeekygirl

Word! well if he wants Full On No Holds Barred Oral...I dream of a man going down on me and doing the works since I got converted by my Sqeel toy.

user-pic

So in response to all of these, I cut my BF off from BJ's offering him to oppertunity to reciprocate or loose his preacious BJ's and his response, "I can live with out it, never going down there" WTF??? How can I renegotiate?

Katie

Oh, the answer to this question rings so sweetly in my ears... (or eyes. Whatever.)

My first boyfriend told me after going down on me once that he didn't like the smell and was totally grossed out by it. It took me *years* to get over that. He also never got me off because "it was just too hard to do," and he didn't want to put any effort into it.

I say if he doesn't put your pleasure first then kick his ass to the curb!!!

aspiringgeekygirl

If you keep yourself HEALTHY surely that helps make you taste nice, him ditto!! Perhaps a Section on 'How to Taste Nice so you can give Mutual Oral' is an idea to consider.xx Fantastic Answer displaying great insight into us women.

Weird Female

Oh, John, lol. Are you sure you're reformed?

user-pic

I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this website. Keep up the good work.

user-pic

I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this site. Keep up the great work.

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