Well, for starters, most men assume that most women are already doing it. Yes, studies show that fewer women masturbate than men, but you're still talking about something like 90% of women (vs. 95-97% of men). So if you're worried about us knowing that you are rubbin' the nubbin, we already do, so cross that one off your list.
Does the thought of you doing it turn us on? Absolutely. At least for all the guys I know. I guess some younger or sexually unaware guys might be turned off at the thought of it, but don't worry, they'll come around. When my second-grade girlfriend flashed her vagina at me, I was troubled and confused, but today I would welcome such a gesture.
Masturbation is a good thing. It's healthy. It's fun. And if we know that you're doing it, we're not only turned on, but encouraged that you are sexually healthy. The better you know how to please yourself, the better you can tell us how to do it. Everybody wins.
Same goes for doing it in front of us. Some guys might not want to see that, but I'm guessing they're in the minority. It's a huge turn-on, but not a deal-breaker if you aren't comfortable doing it. Many women aren't. Others have no qualms about putting on a show, like the woman in college who, on our first date, asked if I'd like to watch her pleasure herself. HELLO! We'd had a few drinks and were making out, but the offer still caught me off guard.
But enough about me. You wanna wank? Wank away. Guys love it and it's healthy. Go for it.
I can't imagine that guys wouldn't find it attractive.
"The better you know how to please yourself, the better you can tell us how to do it."
Very true. In fact, my closest friend wasn't masturbating (catholic guilt - makes me happy that I'm a heathen). Her boyfriend was having a lot of trouble giving her orgasms and he asked what she liked. She didn't know. He asked her what she does and he was horrified when he found out that she didn't rub the nub. He convinced her to start and, voila, orgasm. He even bought her first vibrator for her birthday this year! What a guy!
wait, your friend didn't masturbate but she had sex? unless she was married, i think the catholic guilt would prevent the sex having...
Yes, it is weird. However, I recall during my catholic school days (pre-heathen as I like to call them) reading in my religion text book that masturbation was considered self-abuse. Yeah, let that sucker sink in.
So it's understandable how she would be too embarrassed or ashamed to masturbate. I mean, premarital sex is looked down upon and all, but in this day and age, it's sort of understood that it happens most relationships. However, I think masturbation was more taboo because nobody ever talks about women masturbating...well until you get to college at least.
It's kinda sad to think that girls in the second grade flash stuff. "When my second-grade girlfriend flashed her vagina at me, I was troubled and confused, but today I would welcome such a gesture.". Of course you would welcome that now, preferably from a fully grown woman and not a child. You don't wanna look like a pedo. Only a gay man wouldn't appreciate it.
What's funny is that I hadn't even thought of it that way (a child flashing me now), so perhaps you're the one who needs to be careful not to look like a pedo.
I think it's pretty obvious that Cary is not a pedophile, he was just pointing out our natural sexual curiosity. I don't think this flashing is any reflection on our culture, other than that we're so puritanical about sex that we completely shelter our children from it. Everything about sexuality is so hush hush here, I can't blame children for wanting to explore it.
Your answer, Cary is outstanding and so so funny. Right on!!! Are there any more firsts for you out therre???
Thanks, Dr. T.
Yes, there are some firsts left for me, but I'd rather skip them at this point.
Nicely done, Cary. I agree that we are a puritanical lot in the US. I wonder what it would be like to grow up in another society. Guess I'll never find out.
Okay, well I must have a bf who's in the 5% or less of men who doesn't like the female masturbating thing. I mean don't get me wrong, he likes it in porn, he likes to watch me do it, he's even okay with getting the toys involved when we're having sexy time (yes, that's Borat, and that's what we call it). BUT he doesn't like that I do it on my own, really. It's weird b/c it's almost like he has a radar for when I'm doing it, b/c I have never caught him in the act, but he has ruined it for me by "walking in" just about every time I've done it (now that we live together). So I feel like I have to hide it. Which makes things worse, because then I seem like I'm doing something sneaky. Sometimes I just want to be like, "look, i'm going to go do something for a little while, so please just give me some time to myself," but he says, "i'm not going to sit in the other room and wait while my gf masturbates." My take is that he thinks it's going to replace him, like he's threatened by it.
Yeah, I had a boyfriend too that hated the thought of me masturbating. Especially if I ever brought up the prospect of buying a dildo. Which i never did, but I guess he thought that maybe I was going to buy something that was bigger than his and then he wouldn't be able to please me in bed. All in all it's not really fair for a person to ask you not to do something that they partake in their self. At least that's what I told my boyfriend.
Cary, could you put a pair of sunglasses on your pic for this particular entry?? I felt like you were watching my face turn red as I read this...and grinning ever so slightly. Made me feel all hinkey.
Great response, Cary! Right on the button...um...well...you know what I mean.
Well done, Cary! Great responses, all around.
Wankers unite!
I admit it without shame: I am a man who enjoys watching a woman pleasure herself.
In my tomcattin' days, I would sometimes ask a partner to share this personal experience with me--what fascinated me most was the variety of different approaches.
Do women moan as much when they're alone? Wanting to quit while I was ahead, I never dared to ask.
This made me smile....you know, the sly, you are never going to know smile women give when we are really saying "We can tell you but you're never really gonna know"
Yes...we do! And we call out Gerard Butler's name....well...at least I do.
Christopher: I'm loud normally, but quiet masturbator... probably the conditioning of the fear of being caught.
I could understand if a girl masturbates in front of her guy he may think that he doesn't satisfy her and she needs to get herself off instead.
On your own time you should be able to do what you want... it's not like your cheating, it's your own hand/vibe/etc. As long as all partners are satisfied sounds good to me.
If your wasting your horneyness on porn and whacking it, that's not good. You should always choose your partner over your hand.
My boyfriend encourages me to touch myself during consummation itself. He understands it feels tons better, and wants me to be happy, first and foremost. I think he'd find it much more weird if i DIDN'T rub the nub.