How dare you ask me that?? I'm just in a bad mood! Men having periods??? That's ridiculous. For one thing, men can't ovulate. Just because occasionally I want to curl up in front of the TV with a pint of Ben & Jerry's (preferably Stephen Colbert's AmeriCone Dream) and watch a Gilmore Girls marathon doesn't mean -- oh my God I think I'm menstruating.
But seriously, the topic of whether or not men have a time of the month comes up every once in a while. Some studies maintain that there are certain times when a guy's testosterone levels are higher than others. Sure, whatever. But he's not having a "period." Mostly he's probably tired/depressed/crankypants and various factors like stress and hormone levels can affect his moods. We're not that all dissimilar, men and women. (Well, except for the whole giving birth thing.) But imagine if guys did actually have "periods"! Imagine all the jerky and lazy behavior we'd try to get away with. "I can't go to your mother's house, I'm having a visit from Aunt Flow. I'm just going to order pizza and play Max Payne all night."