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Do you have any advice for how to manage an alpha-male-type employee who is upset a female colleague (me) got promoted into a supervisory position over him?

Yes, I do, because I've been in the exact same situation. It happens every day in the corporate world, and there's always at least one person who gets pissed when someone else gets promoted over him, especially if that someone was his equal just the day before.

How do you manage him? The same way you manage everyone else: equally and fairly and with no accommodation or concern for his petty ego issues. Don't kowtow to him and don't single him out. Don't go any easier or any harder on him than you do anyone else. His feelings about your promotion are irrelevant now, and if you get caught up in trying to make amends or prove your worthiness to him, you're just asking to fail as a manager.

You did nothing wrong by getting promoted; on the contrary, you did a lot of things right. You don't owe him an explanation or a justification. Even if you were this guy's hired ass-wiper yesterday, someone higher up than both of you saw fit to promote you to his supervisor today, and today is all that matters.

You're the boss now, and, like any other subordinate, he needs to respect your authority, period. Whether he likes you personally or not is moot. Give him a Vagisil wipe for the sand in his cooch, a boo-boo bunny for his bruised ego, and tell him to get back in the game. There's work to be done and no time for whiners. If he can't let it go, he's free to go work somewhere else, right?

Focus on your job, not his hurt feelings.

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12 Comments

Daisy

On target advice, Cary. It wasn't a personal decision, it was a business decision, and it is best to keep it that way. Anyway, you didn't make the decision to give you the promotion, management did. You were just doing your job, and obviously doing it well if you got the promotion.

Vagisil and boo-boo bunny--ha ha ha! :-D

user-pic

Great advice. Thanks Cary!

AfroAmber

What you want to do is get a magazine or newspaper, roll it up and just give him a swat on the nose when he misbehaves. To emphasize the behavior isn't acceptable a stern "No!" should also be issued.

user-pic

RIGHT ON!

user-pic

Great advice, Cary. It's a difficult situation to be in, for sure. I was once given my own boss (and mentor)'s job, so we basically switched positions in the company. It was terribly awkward, but I just focused on doing my best work. Still... that is when I first realized that working for da man just plain stinks.

LOL @ "boo boo bunny!"

Cary McNeal

The boo-boo bunny is magic. He fixes owies.

http://www.lullabyebaby.com/images/kg6904_boo_boo_bunny.jpg

Daisy

Aw...boo boo bunny is cute! :-)

Cary McNeal

Oh, and working for the man definitely stinks. I finally realized that if I had to work for an asshole, I might as well be self-employed.

user-pic

HA! Right ON.

user-pic

At least you know what to expect when you're the asshole (or bitch, in my case)! I have Stickittodaman-itis.

Carrie Seim

Always a good idea to carry a pack of those wipes.

Cary McNeal

Agreed. They probably work well on sweaty balls, too.

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