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Do you like Miley Cyrus or Selena Gomez?

OR?! You're making me PICK?!

Man, I have been WAITING for this question ever since I first signed up to write here. Are you kidding me?! After her performance at the Teen Choice Awards, I think we can all agree Miley is officially the pre-eminent performer of our generation.

Er, well, the generation below me, I guess, but whatever. All these snot-faced kids don't get her the way I do. The depth, the embedded homages to Proust, the spangled clothing. She's got it all!

Okay, that's enough of that. I'm not sure if the person who sent this question to a 24-year-old man PAID TO BE SARCASTIC was hoping for a real answer or a humorous tirade, but I'll bet you can guess which they're about to get.

Miley Cyrus is just another put-upon child star trading the best years of her life for fifteen minutes of fame and some big wads of cash. Selena Gomez is probably doing the same, but less successfully because I've never heard of her.

I feel sorry for these children. They are part of a machine too large for them to possibly comprehend, and the effects this experience will have on them later in life are unpredictable at best, and Danny Bonaduce at worst.

Sure, their music is catchy. Yes, I love to sing it loudly in the shower and when making love. But is it really worth putting a young woman through all of the stress and distortions that come from being insanely famous?

Or maybe I'm just rationalizing because I wish I were a globetrotting pubescent songstress.

Yeah...maybe.

Talk 14
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14 Comments

bgirl

Swaim,
I'am honestly in a dilemma here with my question...and this is the question you answered?!!!!

Megan

Yeah, stop answering stupid questions like this. I know you want to get some serious ones and some not so serious ones, but come on!

Michael Swaim

Hey, I just answered a question about dating a dead friend's girlfriend! That's humor poison! I needed a detox. Although I love that y'all take my advice this seriously (and well you should).

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I'm sorry if my question was humor poison, but i wouldn't have cared if it was much more humorous. Thats why i asked the funny guy.

Gee

Selena Gomez is actually one of the good ones. You haven't heard of her because, unlike miley cyrus, she doesn't have a famous weirdo-dad, nor does she pole dance at her concerts in front of a tween audience.

cropcircles

Haha. Oh Swaim, I love you.

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Finally! Someone else who sings "Seven things I hate about you" loudly to their partner while making love!

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Does anyone else find it slightly disturbing that someone sent this question in to Michael, an ADULT male (paid to be sarcastic rofl)? Unless the question was asked in all innocence by a tweenish-aged person, I am officially creeped out.

But great answer, Sir Swaim!!

boop

bahaha. i love this.

Stevie

I'm kind of relieved. I sort of believed for a couple of seconds you were going to actually weigh up the pros and cons =D
I'm sorry for lacking so in faith, Swaim.

bgirl

My favorite thing right now is the Miley Cyrus ads all over the website pertaining to the question.

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I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing articles on this website. Keep up the great work.

user-pic

I have to say that for the past few of hours i have been hooked by the impressive posts on this website. Keep up the great work.

user-pic

Greet stuff thank yo for the information

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