I went straight from home to my first house with my now X-wife. The reason we split has nothing to do with going from Mom and Dad to home owner, though.

I had chores, I did laundry, mopped, cleaned, cooked, helped with grocery shopping, etc... Like MM said - if he isn't used to doing all that, he's doooooomed.

My current wife tells me I'm not the typical guy, however. So fair warning. (I was 19 when I bought my first house)

No. Live apart. At least for six months or so. It doesn't have to be long, but he needs to know how to take care of himself so that you don't inadvertantly end up stepping into the role. I had a wondeful partner when I was 19, we dated for a year, but as soon as we moved in together, I realised that he was ridiculously used to his parents doing everything for him. His mother clearly washed his clothes, because he couldn't work a washing machine, and then when I taught him that, he left his clothes in there for days and smelt of damp all the time.

And, when I taught him how to hang his clothes properly, he just wouldn't/couldn't remember, and then said he couldn't smell anything. And I didn't exactly want to be going out with the stinky guy, so I would wash and hang up his clothes. And that, as well as finding out he couldn't cook anything but spaghetti, didn't realise you had to wash sheets, and had never dusted a surface in his life, put me firmly in "Mummy" territory, because I couldn't stand it but didn't want to lose him, so did these things for him. I know now this was a mistake, but I loved him so much, and just wanted him to grow up. I don't know if he loved me or not, because he didn't do any of those things, and never noticed that I was doing them all the time. It hurt. A lot. But if I stopped doing them, he certainly wouldn't. When we broke up, he poisoned himself with green meat and chunky milk.

I tried to have calm adult conversations with him, but they devolved into "GOD YOU'RE ALWAYS NAGGING AT ME". Which was absolutely not what I was doing. Sometimes I dokeep on about things, but these were calm conversations in which I would try to be as open and understanding as possble because I know how hard it can be to live by yourself.

And I'm sure you think it would be different, and maybe it would, but chances are it would run exactly the same way. We were perfect together when we didn't live with each other, but he needed to stand on his own two feet first. If I had the choice to go back and fix that, I would certainly suggest he live by himself for a while. Well. Actually, considering my partner now and how wonderful he is, I really wouldn't. But to fix that relationship, he would have had to live by himself.

TL;DR Live apart, it can only be a good thing for you both :)

My wife would agree with Mouse's post... not because of me, but because of her ex. She got married fairly young to a guy who had never been on his own, so a few years later when she got injured and couldn't do any of the regular chores he stared at her dumbfounded and had no clue where to start. In his entire life he's never had to do laundry or clean a toilet and he didn't know where to start or what to do. His "not my problem" attitude that went along with it just kinda made it worse and ultimately it caused a lot of problems between them.

I actually kind of wonder the same thing about my boyfriend. He definitely knows how to do things around the house, but he's never had to pay rent or pay any bills. He's very free with his spending and doesn't seem to save much. Is living together a bad idea?

I don't live with my bf and for a good reason. His house is a pig pen. He has lived on his own for 20 years and still has no concept of cleaning the house. He asked me to help him and I cleaned the bathroom in about 1/2 hour and he was amazed. However, he is a wiz at yard work and home repairs so I guess if I kept the inside of the house straight and he did the yard work, it'd be an even trade. Oh, and he also fixes cars so he's saved me literally thousands on repairs since I have an older car. But we'd live at my house...his is too far gone. So don't expect every guy to be great or even want to do house work, but if they can do yard work and home repairs, there's something to be said for that.

At uni I lived in halls which was split 50% Male and 50% Female. Having lived with 15 guys whilst at University- who had just moved out from living with their parents - I wouldn't advise anyone to move in with a guy who has never had to fend for himself. I have seen, smelt, heard and..... touched things I will never forget. I will say this though... it is a cycle that they all have to go through and as the years progressed most became quite proficient at taking care of themselves in terms of laundry/cooking/ cleaning/ budgeting and generally just having more common sense and responsibility about shared living. You do get the odd one who doesn't conform to the norm and God bless their mothers or whoever brought them up. Depends what type of guy he is and how much patience you have..

GOOD LUCK.

In general I would say it's a bad idea. I'm still finishing my B.S., and it's a running joke how filthy my college guy friends' houses are. Did your boyfriend's parents teach him how to maintain a house and balance a checkbook? If he's never paid a bill, bought groceries, swept a floor, washed laundry, or chopped an onion in his life, he absolutely must live on his own until he masters the basics. You don't want an experience like Mouse had, and that's what you're liable to get. However, if his parents made him do chores and taught him financial basics, and you really think that he's domestic enough that you won't resent doing whatever little bit he can't, then it might make sense. One last thing to consider: Living with roommates other than one's parents teaches vital compromise and conflict resolution skills as they relate to sharing space, and a lack of those skills could strain your relationship.

I cannot say anything about my BF (he lives with his mom and still does most of the cooking in the house), but my (male) rommate, omg! His room can only be translated as chaos, he never washed his bedsheets in over one year, and probably has no idea how to do it... After living for almost 30 yrs with his family, now that he lives by himself, he has no idea how to cook (or turn on the stove for that matter), clean, or wash his clothes.
He is always amazed on how us girls can do all this chores, and yet never bothered to try and learn anything. I feel bad for him, but he will have major problems if he decides to live with his SO, due to his lack of "home skills"....