Screw ungentlemanly, and screw feminism. The plain fact is, a woman is about a thousand times more likely to get raped/mugged/attacked, and being alone at night is not helping drive those odds down. Any boyfriend--or just friend for that matter--should come to grips with their own mortality, realize the tender frailty of our existence, and walk a lady home.
Yes, it's an annoying necessity, and yes, I can totally understand a dude not feeling like hoofing it back to your place, then back home again, but it's a sight better than getting a frantic call from you in the middle of the night because your phone was stolen (especially because that would imply you have two phones, which is just silly).
If he's got a car, there's no excuse. If there's public transport, he should have escorted you at least that far. If he's a paraplegic, he should...okay, actually, that's a pretty good excuse. If you really feel unsafe, or this has become a pattern in your relationship, I'd tell this guy that seeing you safely home is now officially part of his job description.
Just hope you never get a frantic call from HIM in the middle of the night because he got mugged in an alley, or there's going to be some major irony flying around.
Right on, Michael!!!
THANK YOU!! This isn't my question, but my boyfriend would let me do that in the beginning of our relationship and it has always bothered me, especially as we live in the middle of Atlanta and that's not exactly the safest place for a girl to be at 1 am. I later forced him to walk back with me, but it just bugs me that he never just flat out offered and that I had to demand it.
i had to make it a policy that if we were hanging out after 9 he was picking me up and driving me home, cause a) i'm a bad driver when te sun is shining, and b) late night trips to the gas station, and creeping men wandering the park by my house at night make me feel unsafe coming and going without someone there to make sure i got in all right. it is within your rights to expect that, hell i used to make a gay best friend walk me home, cause you just look safer and like less of a target when there's a man there
during high school and before i learned how to drive, i always had someone to walk home with. it may have been pass one, maybe three am. i either had brothers, my neighbors, or friends that live nearby. we all walked home together. our neighborhood isnt the safetiest either, so now that i have a car, i always ask someone who is sober enough to walk me to it.
the only guy who didnt walk me to my house on one occasion was the one i liked, who said he liked me, and what not. that night he wanted me to have sex with him but i didnt.
that night my sister and i left walking home, it was a few blocks, four tops.
you know anything could happen to girls walking home late night, fortunately we got home safe.
i remember telling my sister on the way home, that was it with that guy.
he was just a plain asshole
I don't know. I hate the whole "woman as perpetual victim" thing. It's not a feminist thing- I just don't like it when people try to convince me to fear for my life (and worse). To me, that is threatening. When a guy says "you'd better let me walk you home or else the Boogeyman will get you), he's basically threatening you into spending time with him and letting him follow you home. The only reason that women are "a thousand times more likely" to be attacked is because we simply accept it as the norm. The truth is that you are far more likely to be date-raped (which is the same as regular rape) by the guy who offers to follow you home than you are to be attacked by some random who's decided that lurking in the shadows waiting for women walking alone at night to pass by so he can jump them sounds like a fine way to spend an evening.
That said, yes, the reality is that girls are sometimes scared, and not without reason. And most of the time, when a guy offers to walk you home, he is genuinely trying to be nice. But I don't think a man should be chastised for not identifying you as a victim. It's actually a GOOD thing that he doesn't think of you that way, as a helpless piece of meat just waiting to be flayed. He recognizes that you have every right to walk the streets of your own city without fear, and he understands that you are able to make your own decisions and your own way home.
I completely agree - a number of my problems with chivalry have nothing to do with it implying a lack of equality. It's because I don't want you touching me even if you have a good excuse like helping me out of my jacket, and I don't necessarily want to spend time with you, even if you insist it's for my own good. I think it's nice to offer, but if someone gives a firm no I think you should respect that too. Of course there are ladies who will say "no, I'll be fine" but still expect you to walk them home, so I get it if guys are confused.
Totally agree, always.