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do you think its true that a nice guy or a guy who really cares about you won't be dominant in bed?

Nope, totally untrue. He could be dominant or passive.

I'm assuming you mean it in the sense that he takes control in bed, not the "whips and chains" sense, but this applies regardless: what a person is like in other aspects of a relationship almost never tells you anything about what they're like in the sack. Sensitive guys may want total control, aggressive guys may want to sit back and let you do the humping. How we're wired sexually has almost nothing to do with how we treat others emotionally; just look at the many happy relationships in the BDSM community.

Now, "dominant" is not the same thing as "selfish". Even a guy who needs to be in control is going to listen to what you have to say, and cater to your needs, if he's any sort of decent human being. He's just also going to be up front about what he needs. And that's OK: if he cares about you, he's not going to do anything you don't want.

If he doesn't, be dominant yourself: dump his ass.

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5 Comments

user-pic

Hmm... I know a quiet, sensitive and somewhat nerdy guy who happens to rock the mattress. He totally shocked me when he started talking dirty ;)

user-pic

I know a guy just like this! He talks dirty, flips me over, and takes me to heaven and HEAVEN....

I would have never suspected that he could/would rocl it like he does.

user-pic

that's a relief :)

user-pic

I'm dating a guy, total sweetheart. seems like he couldn't hurt a fly (even though he's very built) treats me with a ton of respect. got him in bed. O.M.G! totally not what i expected. definetly dominant and knows how to be just the right amount of rough ;p which is completely fine with me!

grayeyeddame

My fiancee is a very dominant individual in everyday life... in the bed, not a damn ounce (and he knows I like it a little rough) but I guess in the end it's ok because I'm pulling my own hair out...

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