My Guyspeak oath prohibits me from any form of lying, including the little white lies that make us feel better. And so I must tell you my unwavering answer on this: No, this won't really turn into a rip his pants off/ rip your shirt off situation.
BUT, I wholeheartedly vote yes to the notion that physical attraction can grow/develop over time. The reason being, all the reasons you generously shared with me and our readers. This dude is brilliant, hilarious, sweet and wonderful to talk to. Those are attractive things. And there is a mind body connection. That is to say, when the mind finds another mind "hot" the body will follow suit. It won't ignite with molten passion per se - it's more of a slow burn until you realize, holy shiz, I am really feeling this person. They are in fact beautiful inside and out. I want to bed this cat!
There are plenty of couples that start with a terrific body bang only to quickly discover there's no more gasoline once the initial flame dies down. Skin is only...skin deep, remember. Unless this man is positively Shrekian, stick with it. It sounds like you got a good thing going. Trust your mind and your privates will follow.
I mean of course, it's ideal to have both off the bat-- the crotch and character lust, but most couples usually have one component more than the other. And while Mr. and Ms. Funny Guy, Dr. and Mrs. Huxtable and Mariah and Nick, all have it all in spades, most aren't so lucky. It doesn't mean a couple's scale is broken it just requires the participants to add more weight to the weaker side. That might take time, a shift in perspective or just a few more pounds of lingerie.
Very true. I once fell head over heels for a guy I found extremely ugly before and would never have dreamed of dating. I think it was the conversations and that he never failed to make me smile.
I dated a guy who had an immensely sexy, intelligent mind, but not a body to match. What he didn’t have in looks he made up for in the bedroom. All I got to say is…, WOW!
I've never had this happen ... I've became less attracted to people as I got to know them, but never more attracted. What am I doing wrong?
haha.. YES this is very true for me also.
Also..
I find it hard to kiss or be intimate with someone that I don't have an attraction to - whether that is pyschically or due to personality. I have been with beautiful guys that I couldnt be intimate with because they lacked that chemistry/certain personality and I have been with not so beautiful guys that had a good personality but still.. no chemistry. These are the ones that slip into the friend zone. It's a shame though. There really does need to be a certain SPARK. It's the spark that keeps you coming back for more. That little unidentified electrocution of lovlieness -it's so addictive! That sort of attraction/chemistry is important, I'm not sure whether you can muster it up out of nowhere if its not lurking there already. I hope you can though..!
I wasn't initially physically attracted to my bf -- he's not Shrekian, but I honestly thought he was kind of funny looking. However, we hit it off immediately. Now, I can honestly say I can't get enough of him and this has been the best relationship that I've ever had. Best of luck to you!
Totally true! It happened with my current boyfriend. He's not the body type I'm normally attracted to (he's tall and broad-shouldered, and I normally like guys who are just a couple of inches taller than me, not 8), but he was great for me in basically every other way. At first things felt a bit odd, and I moved slowly at first, but it's gotten way more natural and I'm very physically attracted to him now, and comfortable with him.
It happens!
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