Two words for you: clean and breaks.
Clean breaks, people. I've said it here time and time again, and your situation is a perfect example of why I do. Clean breaks. Anything less just invites the kind of trouble that you are having right now.
If you and your guy decide to break up, then for the love of Pete, break up. Do it or don't do it but don't do it halfway. Karate "yes," karate "no," but never karate "guess so." Karate "guess so" does nothing but muddy the waters and practically guarantee hurt feelings.
What's the point of breaking up if you're still gonna have sex? I know it's hard to let go, but you must, and with both hands, not just one. Otherwise you're stuck in limbo and you can't move on. You're broken up in words only but you're still carrying on the same dysfunction that convinced you to end your relationship in the first place. Except now it's even worse because you're not really a couple so there's less accountability to each other. It's a recipe for confusion and disaster.
Break it off. Cut the cord. Where do you place him in your life now? As far outside of it as you possibly can, that's where. That is, if you really want to be broken up. If you still love the guy and want to get back together, then get back together. Anything is better than this half-assed crap you're doing now, trust me.
Thanks for the question.
Well said. Put the energy into getting on with your life so your thoughts and heart can focus on healthy things. Messing with your heart repeatedly can drain you emotionally.
Yay for clean breaks! My friend -never- has a clean break in a relationship, so all the crappy drama that broke them up in the first place is constantly hanging in the air in the most awkward way... it drives me up the freakin' wall...
And what if you don't want to be broken up?
Then you try and see if you can get back together. If the other person wants to stay broken up, then you move on knowing you have given it your all.
"If you still love the guy and want to get back together, then get back together."
Thank you for the answer, Smart Ass!
However, I think I gave him a "karate no", yet I'm still hurting. Is this Ok? Is it just what comes with a definite "no" even though I still have feelings or did I do something wrong?
Well of course you're going to hurt after a break up, that's natural. What isn't natural is feeling like it wasn't the right choice. Usually (if you're the one doing the dumping) you know that's is the right decision for you; even though you're hurting, you needed to end the relationship. If you stop and really take stock of your emotions, you will figure out if breaking up was right.
So missing him and being sad is still normal no matter what side of a break up you're on.