OK. Can do this without being too harsh - you don't rate harshness.
Defense attorney is one of the careers I have an immense amount of sympathy and respect for. Far less glamorous than prosecuting, with very few honest and total triumphs unmarred by the fear (or knowlege) that your client is actually guilty as charged.
Yet it is his job. He'll probably not get much choice in the sort of cases he gets to handle either, so yes, he'll spend a lot of time defending the rights of people who would be far better taken out back and hung (rope is re-usable, bullets are not).
You tell he makes you feel safe, happy and loved. You do exactly the same for him. You remind him by your very presence that most people are good, and for every slimeball he has to deal with there is a safe place with someone who can heal his soul. That is pretty damned important for him. Ask any cop, EMT, ER nurse, or prison guard.
Now as to what to do. Apart from suggesting that you don't discuss his cases with him, I honestly think you need to talk things over with him in a no stress way. He needs to know how you feel, so he can understand the boundaries for destressing and getting rid of his day. You need to understand that he is an honest and honorable man doing a dirty job that has to be done and far too few want to.
Good luck.
Aw, what a beautiful, compassionate answer. It feels like a T-shirt logo: "Defense Attorneys are people too!"
Yep. What HE said. Perfect answer, MM.
good for you in going green in your exicution method of choice :D
but seriously good answer.. I wouldn't want to be a defense attorny... I'd go for devorce lawyer before that and thats not particularily happy either!
that's funny, was just having a conversation with my divorce lawyer the other day about this same stream of thought. i mentioned how hard it must be for him some days to go home after dealing with such fugly from the world. he said he gave a lot of credit to his wife, and that the crap he has to shovel every day only makes him more grateful for what he has to go home to. food for thought for the asker. and yes, brilliant MM. makes me want to go hug a defense lawyer now lol
I agree with what everyonelse has said. I also understand the pain this poster is going through, because I too am a r@** survivor. You're awesome MM
It is very interesting, but I (in my not-so-vast knowledge) agree. Great people have to do difficult and controversial things, Soldiers have to kill to protect and I have the utmost respect for them, and I feel the same is true for other relating jobs/defense attorneys etc.
I agree, that was the perfect answer. I can also unfortuneatly relate to the poster's situation.
why did you say that three times? i know, technical issues. nobody is without compassion for yours or the askers circumstances. i think it would be helpful to you to stop playing the soundtrack that your personality today is the product of something fugly that happened yesterday. if you do not know how to do that then seek a professional's opinion, because you deserve to be happy and it will only make you stronger.
It seems like you are implying that the question asker and brat are blaming difficulties in their lives on this terrible thing that happened to them. The way I see it, something bad happened and they are still adjusting, coping, and healing. Why would you say that? Yes, people will be worse off if they constantly dwell on the negative things that happen to them, but it's also true that rape is awful and will probably affect people for some time after. No need to go lecturing them about sounding like a broken record.
i was implying no such thing, but i guess lecturers shouldn't live in glass houses. why would i say that? because i have donated more of my own personal hours and money to the cause of victims of assault and abuse than you have probably made this year alone. because i know how hard it is to choose happy. and it breaks my heart to see women use the word depressed, repeatedly, over actions inflicted on them by a man. it breaks my heart, it actually keeps me awake at night. i know there's life beyond being a victim because i'm living it, and i know how it feels like to feel like you are stuck with the miserable for the rest of your life. you're not. both the asker and brat can choose happy if they like, or focus on the negative. that's the only point i was making. but thanks for the feedback.
"Rope is reusable" That is what I've always said, and it's more eco friendly when you go with natural materials. Great answer btw, my dad's a cop, it's not the same situation as her, but I get what you mean when you say he will need a safe place to come home to. Does he know what happened to you? Because it will make understanding your feelings about his work much easier when you talk to him. Good luck hon, you can work through this with him.
To the poster, PLEASE READ THIS.
My father is a criminal defense attorney and I plan to become one. What people are often confused about is how CDA's actually are. People often see them as liars who twist things to let bad people go back out on the streets (because of how movies/tv portrays them). My father has never once lied to "win" a case. The role of the CDA is NOT to lie and NOT to lessen the punishment or let people off scott-free, but to simply point to the prosecution, say "you say my client did xyz. Prove it." My father told me yesterday he often tells his clients "I don't care if you're lying to me right now (about being innocent or whatever it may be), because I'll find out. I will ream out every single witness when put on the stand—the prosecutor's and ours AND you when you're on the stand. I will pull the truth out of every single person, and that is how the case will be dealt with."
I'm not at all saying that you're bashing him, I just hope what I said can perhaps help with your view of his line of work. Its an awful thing that happened to you, and I can't even pretend to understand what it is like to be in your situation. I wish you luck, I know you can work it out! :)
That's soo true even though I'm not a fan.
Do you think all DA's enjoy putting the bad guy back.
Some of them know most of their client are guilty but
They got to do their jobs.
So yeh some of them actually got a conscious (very few)