Of course it's reasonable. Your boyfriend needs to have enough common sense to understand its not about "trusting" him; it's about recognizing the reality that there are 300+ things in play when you get on the road, and he cant control most of them.
For him, it's a matter of ego: "Babe, I'll keep you safe, stop nagging me." He can't separate his wanting to not harm you from the fact that it's not all up to him. Remind him, it's about executing safety not intending it. What's worse a bruised ego or shattered cranium?
If he doesn't get it, pull over and walk life with someone who does.
Come on man, you know full well that listening to someone bitch about your driving while consciously paying attention to driving a different way then you are used to is a lot of distractions, and men can't multitask very well. Not being able to pay all your attention to the situation around you is all by itself a huge risk factor. This can even cause you not to be able to react to the "not up to you" type of situations correctly / fast enough.
So girls, please stop nagging us about our driving while we are driving, it's dangerous. Do it some other time. Maybe bring it up at dinner, or after we stopped, but not while driving. Please.
That's some BS right there, Mike. You better believe that if the guy I'm in the car with decides to act like a crazy driver, I'm going to tell him to knock it off right then and there. I might bring it up later, yeah. But, I'm not just going to sit quietly and clutch onto my armrest.
At'em girl!
100% behind you.
It's not like he's 'accidently' driving badly.
This is recklessly putting more than his own life in danger, because he's under some strange delusion that he's invincible, or that others are somehow impressed by his disregard for human life.
The same goes for mobile phones in cars.
If I'm a passenger, don't answer your phone.
I don't want to witness you run over someone's child.
I don't want to see you or anyone else's remains scraped out of a car.
And most of all I don't want to die.
That's not nagging!
It's all about respect.
That wasn't what I was talking about. If it goes to the lenghts of you clutching the armrest and fearing for your life, it's perfectly reasonable to demand that he stops, and talk it over right there and then, or alternatively to just get out and call a taxi. What I meant was the constant low key nagging in every corner/light for no apparent reason that some of my female acquaintances are prone to doing (mostly my mother, but not exclusively).
Have to agree with Mike on some level. If you don't like the way someone drives, then don't get into the car with them. I certainly wouldn't. If you don't feel safe - drive yourself, offer to drive them, take the bus!! What is annoying, a nuisance and hazardous is someone chirping in your ear telling you how to drive when you are trying to concentrate on the act of driving itself. Take my mother, for example - I refuse to get into a car with her if she is not driving. I won't even take a taxi with her because by the end of the journey - I want to strangle her. She is the WORST back seat driver I know - leaping out of her seat, dramatically inhaling, grasping a hold of things, flailing around whilst praying under her breath and shouting out commands. I honestly don't know how my father handles her at times - he must have the patience of a saint. There is nothing that puts me more on edge or makes me more nervous than a back seat driver. It is off putting - so any discussions about driving should happen outside the car. The way someone drives is quite personal - He obviously trusts himself and knows his car - its your problem not his. If you don't like it - don't get in the car with him.
Refusing to sit in their car doesn't always work. My dad is a realllly reckless driver and has come scarily close to running me over on more than one occasion. However, when I tell him I'm driving or refuse to sit in his car, he gets really insulted because he thinks he's a great driver and feels that being deprived of his right to drive other people is an insult to his masculinity. I feel like unfortunately, he won't change his ways until he gets into a serious accident and realizes it too late.
Stop earlier at lights what does that mean? My husband bitches at me constantly about tailgating. Insisting I am practically running over the car in front of me. He swears I drive to fast, I am wreckless and thinks his driving is far superior. Driving with him makes me want to hurl myself out of the car. In the numbers depart I have 1 ticket in 15 years of driving and that was from a right turn on red light at a camera and no accidents. I follow at least 2 car lengths behind. He on the other hand has had multiple tickets, accidents and been pulled over and warned more times then I can count. Sometimes when you are out of control of the car you perceive the situation as far more dangerous. Perhaps his driving isn't as bad as you think.
The person behind the wheel has control of the car. It is up to the driver to get there safely. Passengers are going along for the ride. If you think the driver is a bad driver, don't get in the car. YOU drive... If you are driving and your passenger wants you to drive like they do - faster, slower, constantly or never changing lanes, etc. - you are in the seat and have to do what you think from your vantage point with your instincts, reflexes, etc. and "you know your car"...