No, I don't think it's okay to combine gifts, even if it means you can give a larger or more expensive gift. The problem isn't so much the gift itself, but what you're saying when you lop two gifts together.
Birthdays are about celebrating the person and the fact that they are here. Most of us get to have a birthday celebration free and clear of any looming holiday; it is our special day and nothing else competes with it. People with birthdays near the holidays will never get that, which sucks for them. Their "special day" gets lumped together with a day that's special for everyone. Their birthday becomes an afterthought.
When you give someone a combined gift, it only reinforces that notion. It might be more convenient for the giver, but is that more important than making someone feel special about his birthday? Your guy's birthday and Christmas are completely separate events, and I think each deserves its own recognition. That recognition includes a separate gift for each event.
My dad's birthday always falls within a few days of Father's Day, but we always give him a separate card and a separate gift for each. It just seems like the right thing to do.
As for the scrapbook, that depends on a lot of factors: how long you've been dating, what your guy is like, etc. I think any gift that takes time and thought and is from the heart is a great gift, but not everyone agrees. I answered a similar question about this time last year, and there were a range of viewpoints on whether or not a guy would appreciate that kind of thing. So I guess it depends on your guy and whether or not he is mature enough to prefer an honest expression of love over a Nintendo DS.
If you follow my advice and give him two separate gifts, the scrapbook could be for his birthday, and you can get him something else for Christmas. If you can afford it, that is.
I agree. My son's birthday is tomorrow, December 14. We have always tried to keep it separate from Christmas, but he has had to deal with others who lump the two together. It does make his day seem less special when it is automatically combined with Christmas. It makes him feel left out and ignored, like his birthday is just a P.S. at the end of a Christmas letter.
I run into this problem every year. My son's birthday is December 14, and my youngest daughter's is December 26. I take extra pains to make sure they don't feel cheated although I have, at their request, combined the two because they wanted something particularly expensive or grand.
I think birthdays should be special. Everyone gets presents at Christmas but your birthday is your very own day.
Love the tag- "a birthday BJ always makes a nice gift, too" :-P
I'm born on christmas day and of course EVERYONE combines my gifts without exception! I usually even get less! And cards... i never get actual birthday ones but christmas ones (aka fireplace+holly+tree) and with a typical "happy birth-christmas". arghhhhhhhh its infuriating!
BEST POST! Thank you for standing up for our rights!
sorry to say,but that's not a good gift for a man,gee, I don't think is a good gift even for a girl,maybe a calendar would be more useful and still you can use pictures of you two.
I am a Christmas baby. NO, it is not alright to combine them unless your parking a car in the driveway! I used to get the combo gift and was always told "now this if for your birthday and christmas" As I got older and became a smart ass, when that perons came around in June, I wrapped their gift in xmas paper and told them " now this is you birthday and xmas present" Imagine the look they had on their faces! That breaks that habit becasue then you can tell them same day, two different events.
HA! Great idea.
Okay, not to be a smartass or anything, but what happened to just saying thank you when someone gets you a gift?
I get it -- it's your birthday. That should be all about you. It's a separate event, and a different reason to celebrate. Therefore, your birthday should warrant a separate CARD. But whether the gifts are combined or not, I promise you, keep pointing that out to people and soon they won't get you anything AT ALL.
Seriously? Every other person is allowed to enjoy having two separate celebrations, but if, completely by the luck of the draw, your birthday falls on Christmas, you should just be grateful anyone gets you gifts at ALL? WOW. Let me guess...you combined someone's gifts this year.
If someone with a September birthday had people do that to him/her, I bet you anything you wouldn't tell them to just "suck it up and be grateful."
My best friend and maternal grandmother's birthdays both fall a few days before Christmas and I would NEVER try to use the "combining gifts" excuse for either. It's such a cop-out, and a disrespectful one at that. It screams, "I don't care enough."
I totally agree!
My birthday is on December 20th and I consistently am forgotten about. I understand "it's the thought that counts," but when I was younger, I could clearly tell I was always getting that single lumped gift, when my other cousins would get showered with gifts for both Christmas and their birthdays. How is that possibly my fault? I would always say thank you and keep my mouth shut, but at the same time; its still not fair.
But even down to celebrating my birthday - when I was little I could never have a birthday party the week of my birthday. Or now, for all my friends birthdays, we always go out to dinner. But usually everyone is so busy this week that my birthday is either lucky to be squeezed in, or it just falls to the wayside. For example, this year is my 21st birthday... Can I honestly go out with my friends this weekend??
I just have to say, I am so thankful my parents were fair about gifts, they knew I was too smart to not notice if I was getting less than my only brother, haha. We even celebrated our "half birthdays" since his birthday is exactly 6 months different than mine. :)
I've just come to terms with the fact my birthday will usually be forgotten or overshadowed, but those who care enough to make it a separate event are those who really matter to me. :)
I find the exact opposite to be true. My sister is a Christmas day baby and I take extra pains to make sure her presents are separate AND wonderful. The rest of my family combines her gifts. HOWEVER, at least they remember her birthday bc it is a hard day to forget. My birthday is in June and I am lucky if I get a phone call on the actual day. It's usually a text a few days later with a "sorry, blah blah birthday, blah blah"