totally agree nick
my boyfriend has had trouble with these things too and hes went so far as to talk to strange girls just casually to feel like his options were open, thats done with now (HOPEFULLY) ...but its just so weird how some men think..

Match is cheaper than $30/month, can't remember the exact pricing... but the lowest membership option is 6 months, NOT a full year. And you can hide your profile if you need to "remove" it before your membership runs out. I was only active on Match for 2 months before my now-husband and I became exclusive, and I made sure to hide my profile completely (encouraged him to do the same, though it took him an extra week, for the "clinging to singlehood" reason you mentioned - though we were already "MySpace-official" by that point).

But yeah, the fact that this girl's boyfriend joined a year into their relationship is the really messed up part. How did she find out about it?

Um yeah, you can subscribe for as little as a month and the free trial is 3 days, not 3 months. He's totally lying, and why's she on Match?

Eh...sounds bad to me.. But I guess your in the right for not jumping to conclusions. But then I can't help but wonder, what if he does have an OkCupid profile lol, lord only knows. If he's going behind your back, dump him immediately and without mercy.

Fishy situation. It is likely that he was keeping his options open. At the very least, he wanted to know that he was still wanted by more than just one person (you), and that is natural. He probably thought that by keeping a profile but not acting on it (assuming he didn't act on anything) that he wasn't doing anything wrong. I can think of several cheaper ways of self-validation, but the lack of true interaction does have its benefits for a situation such as that.

Another question re: eharmony.com. Dating a man who lives out of state for 8 months. When we first started to date, he mentioned that he had a friend that was a girl who was an old work associate and that from time to time, they would go out for a drink, meet for lunch, etc. He told me that he only thought of her as a friend. Recently, he told me that he was going over to her apartment. She asked he to take pictures of her for eharmony.com. After the fact, I told him that I didn't approve of what he did... because of the following:
1) why would a work associate ask a fellow co-worker to take picture of her for the dating unless their was a hidden agenda..typically this is too personal for anyone to share with a co-worker.
2) why would she ask him when she could have asked other friends
3) why would he go..knowing that he could walk into a photosession that he may not have been able to handle.
Long story short, we had heated argument and I broke up w/ him.
Was I wrong?

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My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. In the past we have had our share of arguments and fights… what couple hasn’t right?? I have accepted my faults and he has seen past them and has believed in me. We Since then I have dedicated my whole world to being with him!!!! While he was deployed I wrote him every day, and I tried to stay in contact with his family as much as possible. I moved miles away to save us money and begin having a more positive outlook on life than the slums I had been in for so long. I also landed an awesome job begin making a better future for us. Until about a few weeks ago... I received a text from him that said “Socially Sassy” well since that’s my screen name on ICQ and the only way I know how to really get on face book, I assumed he had finally registered on it. I responded with a big ole smiley face!!! That’s when he told me it was my screen name on a dating website. I was frantic. I had no idea what he was talking about. I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t answer and I just kept texting him asking him what site and how could I view it. Once I found it I discovered it has the exact photos and saying posted on my ICQ profile. I posted a message on facebook asking that if anyone knew who did or if they had done it for fun and games to please confess. A few people responded that it sucked, sorry I was going through it and they hadn’t done it. I then went to Yahoo and posted it on their. Since then I have spent the last three weeks trying to find anything that I can to find out who or how this profile was created. I have contacted the customer service at Match and asked for information. I have checked my Credit card for any activity, and I have also looked into an IP investigation. Other than that I don’t know what else to do. He has responded saying he needs time to think ….. the last response I received from him was when he responded to me "then who did. I have replied at least a dozen times giving him reasons why I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done this, and letting him know all the information I can or what I am doing to resolve this . I still , have heard No response back from the damn Match customer service and there is no phone number to call. I have text him that I have faith and hope and I believe in us we have been through so much more than this. And I swear with everything that I am I didn’t do this. But I have heard nothing back and he won’t answer my phone calls. I don’t want to continue texting him and calling him if he won’t respond because I feel like a annoying psycho girl. :( All I do is think of him... I am a mess I cry day in and day out. I feel drained..exhausted.. and tired.. a part of me wants to give up hope. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out! These past few weeks I haven’t been able to talk to him besides that and I have tried to give him time to think like he has asked but I can’t take it anymore... I feel like I am being punished for something I haven’t done. It is so hard because I love this man with ALL my heart! Am I stupid for holding on? .... I haven’t wrote him or text him in over two weeks now but I am forwarding him all the information I am getting. I just don’t want to annoy him at the same time I want him to know how hard I am trying. I still miss him and am still in love with him, I am trying to give him space but I don’t really know how its helping when I didn’t have anything to do with the damn profile in the first place..... I feel torn between trying to hold on or having to give up. I’m usually a very strong hardheaded individual. But now I am a complete mess. I apologize for the lengthily story but I didn’t know of any way else to describe what I have put him through and would rather have no skeletons or assumptions into who I really am. Thanks for reading if you got this far. If you could please, give me some advice whether it good or bad I would really appreciate it.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost two years. In the past we have had our share of arguments and fights… what couple hasn’t right?? I have accepted my faults and he has seen past them and has believed in me. We Since then I have dedicated my whole world to being with him!!!! While he was deployed I wrote him every day, and I tried to stay in contact with his family as much as possible. I moved miles away to save us money and begin having a more positive outlook on life than the slums I had been in for so long. I also landed an awesome job begin making a better future for us. Until about a few weeks ago... I received a text from him that said “Socially Sassy” well since that’s my screen name on ICQ and the only way I know how to really get on face book, I assumed he had finally registered on it. I responded with a big ole smiley face!!! That’s when he told me it was my screen name on a dating website. I was frantic. I had no idea what he was talking about. I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t answer and I just kept texting him asking him what site and how could I view it. Once I found it I discovered it has the exact photos and saying posted on my ICQ profile. I posted a message on facebook asking that if anyone knew who did or if they had done it for fun and games to please confess. A few people responded that it sucked, sorry I was going through it and they hadn’t done it. I then went to Yahoo and posted it on their. Since then I have spent the last three weeks trying to find anything that I can to find out who or how this profile was created. I have contacted the customer service at Match and asked for information. I have checked my Credit card for any activity, and I have also looked into an IP investigation. Other than that I don’t know what else to do. He has responded saying he needs time to think ….. the last response I received from him was when he responded to me "then who did. I have replied at least a dozen times giving him reasons why I couldn’t and wouldn’t have done this, and letting him know all the information I can or what I am doing to resolve this . I still , have heard No response back from the damn Match customer service and there is no phone number to call. I have text him that I have faith and hope and I believe in us we have been through so much more than this. And I swear with everything that I am I didn’t do this. But I have heard nothing back and he won’t answer my phone calls. I don’t want to continue texting him and calling him if he won’t respond because I feel like a annoying psycho girl. :( All I do is think of him... I am a mess I cry day in and day out. I feel drained..exhausted.. and tired.. a part of me wants to give up hope. My heart feels like it’s being ripped out! These past few weeks I haven’t been able to talk to him besides that and I have tried to give him time to think like he has asked but I can’t take it anymore... I feel like I am being punished for something I haven’t done. It is so hard because I love this man with ALL my heart! Am I stupid for holding on? .... I haven’t wrote him or text him in over two weeks now but I am forwarding him all the information I am getting. I just don’t want to annoy him at the same time I want him to know how hard I am trying. I still miss him and am still in love with him, I am trying to give him space but I don’t really know how its helping when I didn’t have anything to do with the damn profile in the first place..... I feel torn between trying to hold on or having to give up. I’m usually a very strong hardheaded individual. But now I am a complete mess. I apologize for the lengthily story but I didn’t know of any way else to describe what I have put him through and would rather have no skeletons or assumptions into who I really am. Thanks for reading if you got this far. If you could please, give me some advice whether it good or bad I would really appreciate it.

What a lovely day for a 4957532! SCK was here

Hi my girl friend of 8 years did something like this. Let me state too that we first met when we were 13 years old. She lived across the street. We dated and whatever. She would drop me though every time someone better came along. She was also my first. Well, she would see this "other guy" sometimes and just throw me to the curb. Eventually she went to College. Another friend of ours brought me to see her on campus. And turns out she was in a relationship with the "other guy." I thought I should just leave her alone. She would send me letters and I never wrote back. Years passed and I went to College too. I messed around with one girl when I was in school. Nothing serious but, It could have been. When I graduated College I was working out of state and I decided to call her parent's house. No one picked up and I had left a message. A few weeks passed and her brother just happened to be the pizza delivery guy. He told me I should give his sister a call because she was back living at her parents I was living at mine too. So I did and we talked for hours and we would hangout and go on dates. I did not have much money so she helped me out. Not to mention I graduated from an art school. We would hang out at her parents house like two little kids. It was fun though. When we started to hang out she also said she was engaged and had given the ring back after 911. She was unhappy. A few months passed and she got a one bedroom apt. And I soon moved in. Again I really did not have money so she paid for rent. I had and still have student loans. Finally got a job where I used to work when I was in high school. Then I went full-time. But, I told her I would not see her as much. I work 40-50 hours at a grocery store. But, I have this degree. I work on my art and go to conventions and got nowhere. Then we moved to a nicer apt with a two bedroom. We were so excited. The second bedroom is my studio. She told me I had a year to get my shit together. A year passed and yet again nothing much. I sold a few pieces and went to conventions. Nothing! And I work lots of hours too.

Then comes May Friday the Thirteenth. We went to a few shops and she seemed very distant. She also had a funeral to go to the next day. That night we were drinking and watching tv. She sits in a chair to the right of my and at an angle. I was really messed up but, it looked like she was chatting with two guys and the top of the screen said match.com. She was also texting her girl friend the one who's grandfather passed. So I got up and went to bed. I texted my sister about what I saw. I was really drunk. So I waited till she came to bed. She came to bad with a big grin on her face and giggling. I got up and checked her computer's history. And there it was Match.com, she had gone on some guy's page and she was even on Chemistry.com sometime too. The next morning was Saturday I had to work 7-4 while she went to the funeral. It was killing me. When I finally returned home my sister helped me find my girl friend's profile. Her picture was even one that I took of her in California. It broke my heart. She was looking for men between the ages of 33-38 and wanted kids. With a stranger!!!!! She came home and did not even look at me. She was so cold. And she kept avoiding me. I talked to her and she would snap back at me. I waited for her to get situated. And then I asked, "Is there something you want to talk to me about?" She said "No. I don't think so." I said really, you don't know about the site?" "What site?" she said. I said "Match.com!!!!!!" She denied the whole thing. I showed her the profile page and she said she did not know who put it up. I asked to look at the history on her computer and said no. I told her I already did. It was all over her history. She stated she did not know anything about it. Like someone is going to creep in the apt and use her computer. She kept denying it. So I asked her again on Sunday the same answers not to mention she went out to dinner with her family then goes to the gym. After all this happened. She told me someone at her work made the page. "Some one put that page up because they don't want us to be together,"is what she said. So I asked to look at her history again. She told her computer crashed. Then Monday comes. I go to the apt and her laptop is gone. She arrives after work with the computer. Again I ask her questions. She said "yeah okay it was me who put the profile up." I asked her why. She said she was "CURIOUS." I asked to speak to her friend who told me my girl friend is looking for stability. So we see a therapist one day. My girl friend kept telling me she did the 7 day free trial on Match.com. The therapist told me to move on and get over it. But, of course I kept thinking about it. Having dreams and could not sleep or eat while she lives her life. I ended up searching a gym bag of hers. She had been hiding bill statements. Then I saw she had paid $159.00 for Chemistry.com a subscription of 6 months. She signed on to that the last week of March. And $59.00 to Match.com was paid the day after Easter. We spent that day together with our families.
When I asked her if she cheated on me she said "I swear on my mother's life I did not cheat." I asked her the same question about paying for the sites. She said the same thing. I called her a lier and told her the bill statements I saw. She stated she did not recall paying for the sites. Anyway things are not the same. She even told me I don't appreciate her. I told my parents and she told hers. I can't trust her. I don't believe she was just curious. I think she wanted a way out. But, after she told her family what was going on they no longer have nothing to say to me. I think she was texting her friend that Friday the 13th because she wanted feedback and was probably making me look like the fool. All I can think of is her with another man. It drives me nuts. How can she do this? So we had been fighting and she broke up with me. We still live together and sleep together. She no longer wants to have kids or get married. She does not want those things with me. She was even looking into a single bedroom apt. It is all a mess.

Can a profile on Match.com say active within 24 hours, 1 day, 3 days, over one week, over 3 weeks, if the profile is not active?
This is what my boyfriend told me was going on with his profile on match.com, that he was not online and didn't know how or why that was happening.
It sounds unbelievable to me, he is after all a computer programmer and I'm suppose to believe this?
I just want to know if it is possible for the activity status to change if the person has not signed on to the site.

numerous thanks for telling!. “Truth is usually the very best vindication against slander.” by Abraham Lincoln.. 462287

how can you find out when a member joined?

My "boyfriend" has recently used match.com and i found out thru facebook.. he tends to make accounts on all kinds of dating sites.. Match.com, pof, zoosk, airg.com, just to name a few.. it really upsets me because he refuses to put "in a relationship" on any thing even facebook, myspace and mocospace.. he either leaves it blank or puts it as undisclosed.. we actually got into an argument fairly recently because he changed his relationship status to "single" on airg.. I culd really use some advise.. why are guys like this??? And the worst part is we have been together for over 5 years.. I feel horrible and its obvious he's keeping his options open but when I try to confront him and talk about it he avoids me like crazy its like talking to a five year old.. there should be a way to ban all guys (n girls) from any and all dating sites if there in a relationship.. or at least a number to call to have those lying asses banned !

My "boyfriend" has recently used match.com and i found out thru facebook.. he tends to make accounts on all kinds of dating sites.. Match.com, pof, zoosk, airg.com, just to name a few.. it really upsets me because he refuses to put "in a relationship" on any thing even facebook, myspace and mocospace.. he either leaves it blank or puts it as undisclosed.. we actually got into an argument fairly recently because he changed his relationship status to "single" on airg.. I culd really use some advise.. why are guys like this??? And the worst part is we have been together for over 5 years.. I feel horrible and its obvious he's keeping his options open but when I try to confront him and talk about it he avoids me like crazy its like talking to a five year old.. there should be a way to ban all guys (n girls) from any and all dating sites if there in a relationship.. or at least a number to call to have those lying asses banned !