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Mystery Man

 
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If a guy say's that he is not looking to be in a relationship and then start's dating another girl.....what does that mean?

It means one of two things:

a) He wasn't interested in you.

or

b) He was interested in you only as far as hooking up with you--with no strings attached--and was just making that VERY clear.

Dudes hate hurting women's feelings. They also hate to see them cry. In fact, they will do just about anything to make a woman stop crying, should she start. In this case, he probably wanted to score with you, but you weren't his idea of anything long-term, so he wanted to be perfectly clear up front about not wanting to be in a relationship. This way if/when you start crying, he can say "I told you I didn't want to be in a relationship, so stop crying."

Make sense?

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8 Comments

user-pic

so true! i love it; i dont cry often but wen i do my boyfriend will do anything to make me stop. [=

MaggieG

I would agree that that IS what happens, but really? Dude, grow a pair and be direct with me. I would respect you way more if you could just be honest. You don't have to go out of your way to be intentionally rude, but be honest and direct.

MaggieG

I would agree that that IS what happens, but really? Dude, grow a pair and be direct with me. I would respect you way more if you could just be honest. You don't have to go out of your way to be intentionally cruel, but be honest and direct. It's easier to get over being told you don't like me vs holding out hope that you just weren't ready to date me and you'll change your mind once you dump her (or she dumps you). So, we might cry some (probably not me personally, but women in general), get over it... we will.

PastFrk

As a woman, many of us women would get upset if a guy just said, "I just wanna do you!, that's all", or "ya wan hook up sometime?" That's honesty.

But then again, maybe a guy was interested in the female, but then she was psycho, needy or had issues...she just gave great head or was good in bed.

:-( >:|

user-pic

This happens both ways, sugar. Men most of the time don't actually like a direct proposition either. We all like the chase and the mystery sometimes.

Likewise some women, myself included, would be damn flattered if a guy (especially the kind I like, ie not the slutbags who'll fuck anything) managed to come straight out with the fact that he finds me attractive enough to sleep with.

In my case, fuck signals and body language and all that. Most of my friends are guys, so it's pretty difficult picking out friend stuff from I wanna be in you stuff. I'd be pretty damn relieved if one of them just came out and said it.

TheMetalHead

The problem with simple and direct honesty is that it probably won't get him what he wants. Seriously, I doubt a guy who says "I just want to do you" gets very much. Thus, he plays on your hopes and all that to get in your pants. If he hurts you, so what? He got what he wanted. Mission accomplished.

I'd like to hear what the Reformed Player has to say on this topic.

Megan

Girls can be the same way. There is this guy Chris, who I know is into me. He bugs me often enough, wants to go out, even invited me to his parents house. Ha! He's just a good lay and I keep him there.

Guys will do everything in their power to keep you from crying and at the same time to get your pants off. If you want to be treated better, more on to a guy who will treat you better. They are out there.

Azucara

to mystery man: If guys care so much about hurting our feelings then why do they cheat on us?

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