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Mystery Man

 
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he hasn't asked for a comittment yet, but has suggested we're "on the way". when i asked him where he saw himself in 5 yrs, he said, "marriage and hopefully more kids,if you can't have any i am open to adoption." i'm fine with things going slow, my ? is, how do i know he isn't just saying what he thinks i want to hear?

Guys lie, sure, telling you what you want to hear and keeping the peace, but they rarely lie about wanting marriage and kids. In fact, you can probably make that never, if you are already sleeping with him.
Sure, get closer to the time and he'll probably squirm a bit and try to postpone the wedding - we all go into panic mode when it comes time to put up the goods - but don't worry right now.

Slow is good. Take the time to get to know each others quirks, foibles and irritation triggers. Doubt is not good.

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5 Comments

chrissie1101

thanks for answering my question, MM. we aren't sleeping together actually, i hadn't thought that made a difference but i guess i can see it how it could. i'm a single mom determined not to be the revolving door type but its a decision we made together. i guess i question his seriousness because the last serious guy i was with was looking at houses with me one day and having my calls ignored the next. i'm okay with things going slow, i probably squirm more at the thought of wedding bells than he does, i just wonder about some of these comments he makes sometimes, how serious he is. he says stuff like that, and stuff like he cringes at the thought of other guys kissing me, but wont step up the comittment yet. i guess i'm just trying to be smarter this time without messing up a good thing, and needed the pragmatic outlook you are so good at. thanks for the perspective!

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Possible he has not stepped up the commitment because he thinks you are not ready? Just a thought...

chrissie1101

you might be right, it is a good food for thought. i would hope that's not the case, but if it is then that only gives more cause to keep things slow right now. slow would be a lot less confusing and a little easier if he would stop dropping these lines tho lol

Selena

I'm a single Mom too, so from one responsible Mother to another - KUDOS for not being the revolving door type. I am the same way. =)
How long have you been seeing this guy?

chrissie1101

thank you :) about 6 mos. sporadic tho, we are both busy single working parents, finding time has been tough. we just spent a week together away to sort of make up for lost time, it was a lovely week we built a lot of intimacy through affection and long talks but it was this week the comments started.

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