He loves you after three dates?! No. WTH?
Of course you didn't say it back, nor should you. It's a ridiculous statement to make on the third date. Flattering, I suppose, but ridiculous. I'm all for people saying what they feel, but to declare your love for someone on the third date is--what's the word I'm looking for, oh yeah--ridiculous. It also cheapens the sentiment. Clearly he got caught up in the moment and spat out the words in a fit or two of coital glee. At least you hope that's the case, because if he seriously thinks you can love someone after three dates, you've got a bigger problem.
Is he freaking out? No idea. A few days isn't very long; it could be nothing. Or he could be upset and embarrassed that he said it and you didn't, but jeez, get a clue, Romeo. No one sane is going to say that back on the third date. He put you in an awkward position: lie or look like the bad guy because you don't love him back. Why he had to say "I love you" when a simple "Damn, your vagina feels incredible" would have sufficed, I do not know.
The first thing I think you should do is wait a few more days until he's done licking his wounds and ready to talk again. If that doesn't happen, then you have to decide if you want to pursue a guy who would get so offended that you didn't return an "I love you" on the third date that he would stop calling. I know you like the guy, but if that's a dealbreaker for him, trust me, you're better off not dating someone so emotionally inept.
If you still want him despite these glaring red flags, give him a call and ask him what's up. If he is indeed upset that you didn't decide you loved him on the third date, just explain to him that you like him a lot, but it's far too soon to talk about love.
Thanks for the question.
My old roommate was infamous for doing this... if the date was semi-decent, 'I love you' was only a week away. Tops. Sometimes, I think guys assume that women want to hear that stuff. It's 'romantic' and spontaneous... and creepy.
The other thing is, you're in your 40s. My single, never-married female friends in their forties are dating quite aggressively, with hopes of a short courtship and an even shorter engagement. It could be that he is either a part of that group, or trying to please the women in his dating bracket.
I had a guy so that, early on. He tried later blowing it off like it was an accident because he says it to his daughter often. He got so clingy quickly right after it though, I had to cut him. I guess I was ok with the “I love you”…, it was the stage 5 Klingon that appeared afterwards that creeped me out.
"stage 5 Klingon" LOL perfect :D
I had a guy write that on a chat who I have never met. It was after a few times, I didn't respond and now we don't chat anymore. I was so shocked when I saw it I had to read it a few times to realize it was those words. Bizarre. Poor guy.
I think guys are the new girl...