I'm going to let my girlfriend chime in on this one first. Nick's girlfriend: "Sounds like he needs to put a ring on it!" Sorry, she's been listening to a lot of Beyonce lately.
Have you thought that maybe he's planning for your future together by buying the vehicles? I mean, if one of the vehicles is a slick sports car, than perhaps not. But if he bought an SUV with plenty of room for storage and kid-friendly cupholders, then he could be preparing for your life together before getting you that ring.
(Also, I assume we're talking about an engagement ring and not just some fancy ring you saw at the store. Or the One Ring of power, forged by the Dark Lord Sauron in the fires of Mount Doom.)
Perhaps he's saving up to buy you the perfect ring. Or, yes, perhaps he's shuffling his feet. There are other ways to tell if he's getting cold feet. Does he get cagey and change the subject when you bring up wedding plans? The cars could be a stalling mechanism. Or maybe he is taking the ring for granted. He figures you aren't going anywhere, so why not buy some cars in the meantime? Maybe it's time to put the fear of God into him. I'm not saying give him an ultimatum, but don't let him get so comfortable.
Don't wait around hoping he'll buy the ring. Ask him when it's going to happen. This is the man you're ostensibly going to be spending the rest of your life with. He should be able to give you a timetable, or at least let you know what is going on with the cars. Also, from the moment he proposed, he's showing you the type of husband he's going to be. Is he going to blow money on himself instead of putting down a down payment on your future home together? Are his actions selfish, or is planning for his future with you? You have to find out if his heart is still in it, and if he still wants to get married. He could be taking you for granted, or he could be making sure you are a two-car family. But the only way you'll know is to ask him.
Um... you don't have to have a ring to be 'engaged'. You just have to agree that you're engaged. Just sayin'.
Right...I don't see your point. No one is saying they aren't engaged. The issue is that he says he's going to buy her a ring, and then he goes and buys two cars. I'm saying she should make sure he's still committed to the engagement.
I agree. No ring. No commitment. Its more like the guy is saying what she wants to hear, to keep her doing what she is doing. - No ring says a lot. If she was the love of his life, he would sacrifice.
sounds like cold feet to me
If I did the math right, a car should cost a bit more than an engagement ring (unless you're expecting the Hope Diamond). If he's using money as an excuse for not putting one on her finger yet still seems to have expendable income, there might be something else going on.
What if he already bought a ring, but he's waiting for the right moment to propose? A friend of mine's fiance had a ring for 8 months before he popped the question! Wait a few more months and see what happens. Plus, what's the rush? If you plan on being together for the rest of your lives, then why are you so concerned about getting a ring today? I have faith in your guy that he's not going to ditch you, he's just waiting for the right moment.
Plus, I met so many men who were bombarded into marriage. Constantly being asked, when, why, and when? I say let your man be free in the choices he is making. If he said he loves you and wants to buy you a ring, do you really think he would break your heart by not doing it? I think you are further ahead than you believe. If you know this is the man you want to be with , relax, and enjoy being with him. He will come around when he is ready and if he stalls some more. I would be less worried about that ring and more concern to why is he stalling. Don’t be like a lot women who run men away by being excessive.
This is the EXACT situation my boyfriend and I are in--I confronted him in a NICE way and he had wonderful things to say and actually rational reasons for not buying a ring and buying a car. AKA he wanted to get out from under a high interest loan so trading in his old car for a new car actually lessened his payments thus OUR debt...and I like that he thought about OUR debt. So give your man a chance to explain be nice and remember this is a BIG decision for him so try and talk about ur feelings while remembering he has feelings too. Also, he did give me a time line which made me feel respected and like he knew where he was going with all these plans :) BOO to the person who said COLD FEET some men just plan things differently and some men are slow and methodical don't rush them--Let them surprise you :)
Come On. If he buys two cars what if he is a restorer for a living? Or what if hthe first was a lemon? Did he keep both cars or sell one to buy the newer one? She knows but we don't. She also knows if she is getting the stall er roonie or not. This girl just wants someone to back her up so why not just do it?
Yes, he is stalling you. Maybe this summer is too soon for him. How old are you both? Finished and graduated HS? What about college and if he is out buying cars what does that tell you about his ability for financial planning? What does his buying two cars without consulting you first say about him?
When I was engaged we knew that major purchases involved both of us. So we would sit down with our budgets to see what we could afford and finally discuss if we really needed the THING.
We both learned this in family living in HS and actually used it when we got engaged after college and strangly it really works.